Meltdown..

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Today has been a horrible day..

I haven't told really anyone what has happened, so I thought that venting here might help to alleviate my anxiety.

At school today, I carelessly lost $100. I reported it to the office as soon as I noticed it.
A few people who were suspected of taking it were called into the office.
I also had to write a statement for my principal on why I had the money in the first place and how I lost it; they probably thought the $100 was for drug money or something, but I didn't think of that until later. While my principal was asking me questions about the money, I just started crying and shaking; basically having a fit. Even I couldn't understand why I was so affected by what was happening. I mean, I guess I didn't really do anything wrong by accidentally losing the money, but the situation of being in the principal's office being interrogated just made me lose it. I feared that I would get written up or something would go on my record and colleges would see it..
I've seen people who have gone into the principal's office before and been asked questions; they never reacted how I did. Some even had an attitude.
It seems silly now, but I was hysterical. I never cry in front of others, so this was kind of..foreign, I guess.


Then, after getting home, my father tells me that my cat, who I have had since I was 3, was missing. I get severely attached to animals and things, so this was a severe blow to me. Of course, the day it's raining so hard that I can't see two feet in front of me, my cat goes missing. Already upset about what had happened earlier, I walked through the rain just calling my cat's name in a sort of haze; repeating words over and over again. I finally just collapsed and started rocking back and forth, hitting my head and kicking..I feel bad for kicking my dog when she tried to see if I was ok..

As it turns out, my cat was never missing. My father just didn't look for her inside hard enough..



My parents think I'm upset about the thing that happened at school because I am afraid that people will dislike me for getting someone in trouble, or that I'm afraid the principal does not trust me..but that isn't it at all. I just got so nervous and lost and..I can't really describe it.

This meltdown has been the first since I began to think I might have AS. I've had many meltdowns in the past, but I never knew why my emotions and frustrations or, I guess, "silly" things affected me so much.
I just want to sleep and hide under a blanket and be alone.

I feel better for saying this on here. I don't expect any replies; I just needed to say something.

I hope you are feeliing better. I know what it feels like when I have lost one of my cats in the past--which is why they are indoor cats now. Its a horrible, helpless feeling. And the thing at school sounds bad, as you were made to feel guilty, when all you were doing is reporting a loss. You must feel drained. Get some sleep. When I was a kid I was terrified of authority, even when I made fun of my teachers and parents. They seemed to have so much power. Now that I'm a grown-up, I realize that they were just imperfect mortals, like me. Many were as*holes. Don't let their judgments get to you.

I remember a similiar meltdown I had when I was 14, which was the only one i have EVER got, and it was the origin of all meltdowns, I was so angry that when my cat scratched me, I threw it multiple times in the floor, I attempted to rip it's head and tail off, but managed to snap out of it before I managed it, but now I can control my meltdowns, I either kick hard walls/mountains or play drums and imagone that I hit the people I dislike.

that sound oh to simular to me wen i was at school but i ued to run away and go missing for hours i run away weni hav meltdownpolice hav been involved trying to fiind me it quiet a common thing for me i just go pop every so oftenit might not actauuly be because of wat just happened but more of every thing just buliding up and i cant take it and i cant talk about how i feel or expres mefeelings so i run away and hav been nown to et violent if oeple wont let me run away

when my dog died i cried for like 2 weeks solid, i didnt really have friends and she was my only one on the day when she was put down i took photos and i gave her scotch finger biscuits, she had told me it was time and she was in pain then when mum and dad took her to the vets i ran around looking for all her toys and stuff and hid it like if i didnt the memory of her would dissapear, it just brought me unstuck i couldnt eat and i lost so much wieght i felt sick i still remember her always it took years to let it go and bury her collar and other stuff, i buried it in a pot plant, her fave palm tree and dad says i can take it with me when i leave home

rip sally girl

I still haven't properly recovered from when my cat died on 16 January 2001, just after I turned 10. I cried for weeks, and was unconsolable on the anniversary for 3 years, until a family funeral was on that day and that distracted me from the pain. Boots wasn't even my cat, he was my neighbours', but having never had a pet, I became his adoptive owner. This made it annoying because people would criticise me for being so upset as he wasn't technically mine. But he was, in so many ways. I would look after him when his owners went away (frequently), give him milk and treats, and he would come and sit in our conservatory with us.
My mum found him dying under a bush in our front garden, he obviously wanted to be with me. She took him to his owners and they rang at 5pm to say he had died happy. I was totally destroyed. I loved him more than anything in the world, he was my best friend. Thinking about him still makes me emotional, I cried about him just about a month ago. Writing this is making me emotional. When he died my life changed, my whole personality was different. I became very negative, and lost friends and my confidence. I would give anything to see Boots again.

I have a picture of him in my room at university, one of mine, that remains one of the best photos I have ever taken.

I know exactly how you must have felt thinking your cat was gone, I am so happy that you found her. Must have been the best feeling in the world.

I had the absolute worst day ever on Monday! I got to school thinking my gym class was going to go biking, but a couple of kids forgot their bikes (we keep extra bikes in a huge storage room but I guess my teacher forgot) so we ran the whole time! 2nd hour was especially boring, but 3rd hour was the worst! I was put in a group with a kid I hate (found out today that the teacher's not gonna let me make up for the class project I (and about 7 others) missed even though we had an excused absence! 4th hour was boring, had to write a speech. Didn't have a teacher 5th hour, you'd think that'd be great... It was most definitely not! Since it was like a free hour, I went on YouTube to listen to music. Then this senior said he didn't like what I was listening to so I turned the volume down. He still came over and just shut down my computer. I turned it back on and continued listening to music, quietly. He came back several more times to shut down my computer, he even unplugged a couple times! I moved to a different computer further away from him and went back on YouTube. He came back again and shut down my computer so I got up and started hitting, kicking, and scratching him. He is considerably bigger than me and he just laughed and made fun of me. I went back to my computer like nothing happened. Again he shut down my computer so I grabbed the nearest book (not hard cover) and hit him with that a few times, I also hit, kicked, and scratched him. This ordeal last the entire hour! He left me alone for study hall after he realized I was crying.

I had the absolute worst day ever on Monday! I got to school thinking my gym class was going to go biking, but a couple of kids forgot their bikes (we keep extra bikes in a huge storage room but I guess my teacher forgot) so we ran the whole time! 2nd hour was especially boring, but 3rd hour was the worst! I was put in a group with a kid I hate (found out today that the teacher's not gonna let me make up for the class project I (and about 7 others) missed even though we had an excused absence! 4th hour was boring, had to write a speech. Didn't have a teacher 5th hour, you'd think that'd be great... It was most definitely not! Since it was like a free hour, I went on YouTube to listen to music. Then this senior said he didn't like what I was listening to so I turned the volume down. He still came over and just shut down my computer. I turned it back on and continued listening to music, quietly. He came back several more times to shut down my computer, he even unplugged a couple times! I moved to a different computer further away from him and went back on YouTube. He came back again and shut down my computer so I got up and started hitting, kicking, and scratching him. He is considerably bigger than me and he just laughed and made fun of me. I went back to my computer like nothing happened. Again he shut down my computer so I grabbed the nearest book (not hard cover) and hit him with that a few times, I also hit, kicked, and scratched him. This ordeal last the entire hour! He left me alone for study hall after he realized I was crying.