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Joined: 15 Mar 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 101

13 Sep 2009, 7:43 pm

I was tlaking to a friend the other day and the name of a mutual aquaintence came up. This friend started talking about the third person (let's call him Bob). I said that I liked Bob (as a friend, that is) and told a story about something silly/funny that Bob did. My friend replied by saying that Bob was a good guy, very easy to get along with and very charismatic. He said that if I tried to imitate some of the things that Bob did (while still being myself) that I would do well socially. I completely agree. The only problem is I don't know how. When I try to do some of the things that he does when interacting, I find that people simply don't warm up to me as well because I am not as charismatic.

I read a story in a book about a college student with AS would sometimes talk to his female counterparts for 5-10 minutes. They seemed to like him after talking to him for a bit, but then another male would come along and with a few short phrases the focus would be on the other person. The girl would end up getting coffee or whatever with the other person as well. Why is this? Can anyone think of specific instances and maybe if we get a few people to recall that happened, we can break it down, analyze what we did right so we can continue, what we did wrong so we can stop, and what the other person did right. I'm also looking for info on improving interaction skills in large co-ed groups.

Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 5 Aug 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 135
Location: Canada

14 Sep 2009, 11:57 pm

I know what you mean.

When I try to emulate successful NTs, it doesn't work. I think we must have some dead giveaways that make NTs wary of us. Perhaps it's the voice tone/volume issues, or that we have the wrong looks on our faces. But perhaps I'm just overreacting because of my social anxiety making me assume people don't like me.

Or maybe there's just an Aspie forcefield, visible only to NTs :wink:

Wait, what?