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Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 7 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 173
Location: Nyack, NY

04 Oct 2009, 12:01 pm

At least in younger years, it feels that they get more of what they want by being as*holes so i assume theres a chance they mite be but if they continue being as*holes maybe they don't appreciate what they've gotten. What are your thoughts on this?


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Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,126
Location: Maryland

04 Oct 2009, 12:14 pm

I think it depends on why.
Some people don't have consciences. They don't care if they hurt people, they don't care what happens to anybody but themselves. That might make them kinda happier, cause they never feel guilty. I feel guilty about all kinds of dumb stuff.
Of course, the best situation would be to feel guilty if you do something wrong, but not feel guilty for stuff that's not your fault or that you can't control.
I guess it comes down to moderation... we go around and around here, debating the differences between being nice and being a doormat, between being a jerk and standing up for oneself.. Aspies are obsessive, we want to be able to focus on one thing and do that thing well, and for that to be enough. Problem is that life is about balance. You've gotta be able to use judgment to tell when different behavior is appropriate. When you should fight for something, and when you should drop it. Picking your battles, all that kind of stuff.

People can display the same behavior, but for different reasons. The troublesome bit is figuring out why somebody is acting the way they are, without doing the wrong thing while you're puzzling over it. I never get it right.


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Joined: 5 Oct 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 531
Location: netherlands

04 Oct 2009, 1:34 pm

i think having no consience would also affect how much joy you get from other ppl.

dont feel guilt when others are in pain and you wont feel joy when they are happy either.