movie date with this girl and my friend and his girl

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

mikeyb
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 111

06 Oct 2009, 8:27 am

okay so my friend introduced me to this chick (he really wants me to find a girl, he basically pushed it onto me)... and today he set up a movie date between us... im pretty nervous... i know she laughed at some of my stuff last night.. but it was all off conversation.. nothing really between me and her. i am more of a quiet type, but she is more of a loud type... anyone have any tips for me? i want to come off as liking her, but not creepy.... sometimes girls can misinterpret an aspies saying to be creepy when really it was just an honest way of saying something.

please help! thanks guys!



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,716
Location: New Jersey

06 Oct 2009, 8:38 am

Well it depends on the intentions of your friend. If he's really trying to help you out, he probably knows your social skills may be a bit underdeveloped or that you get nervous in unfamiliar situations, and so he arranged the double date so that he's still there for you (so that you at least know somebody in the room)...

On the other hand, he could just be a jackass setting you up to fail and wants to be there to see the spectacle... Without knowing him personally, I wouldn't be able to decide which is the case...



mikeyb
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 111

06 Oct 2009, 8:40 am

nah hes a really cool friend.. he actually thinks im normal just thinks that i am shy... i also have a very dick-like black humor type of personality and im not sure if girls are into that.. i know this one girl i used to talk to was.. but not many of them actually are.



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,716
Location: New Jersey

06 Oct 2009, 8:44 am

mikeyb wrote:
nah hes a really cool friend.. he actually thinks im normal just thinks that i am shy... i also have a very dick-like black humor type of personality and im not sure if girls are into that.. i know this one girl i used to talk to was.. but not many of them actually are.


Well in that case, he's probably trying to help you... He's arranging all the details (he found the girl, set up the date, etc), because he knows that you probably wouldn't... My guess is that since it's arranged as a double date, he and his girl would sit with you and this girl he's introducing you to, in order to give some encouragement and a feeling of familiarity (as opposed to being alone with a girl in the theater)...



mikeyb
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 111

06 Oct 2009, 10:19 am

yea he is... he said and i quote verbatim "your d**k is my d**k"... lol

i think im going to use some xanax, anyone have any info on this... would .5mg be a good dose?



TB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 531
Location: netherlands

06 Oct 2009, 10:24 am

exactly your friend and his date could help you out when silences happen by joining in on the conversation or you could say something to them about the topid if she didnt respond.

if it does happen that you two dont have anything to say for a moment dont break eye contact right away by looking in the other direction, just give her a smile i think this is the way for silences not the get uncomfortable.

ask her open ended questions and then ask her questions that go deeper on the answer she gave be interested listen to what she says and dont think about what youre going to say after shes done talking, you could miss some very important info you could comment about. you want to find out if shes compatible with you just because shes a girl doesnt mean its a match. If you ask her questions she will start asking you questions.

btw ive never been on a date just repeating what ive heard and sounds good to me.



Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,030

06 Oct 2009, 1:18 pm

The fact that you're concerned enough to post the question tells me you're doing exactly what I did at your age - investing way too much in something that doesn't exist - the future.

What will happen will happen, good, bad or indifferent . Just say what you mean and mean what you say, and understand that you may be accepted or rejected based on that, but it's okay. Better to know right up front that there's no common ground for more, than find yourself having to live up to someone else's unrealistic expectations, or tolerate their unpleasant quirks just to keep up a facade. You do not have to meet Miss Right RIGHT NOW. Sometimes just hanging temporarily with Miss Sorta Okay is a good thing, too.

You already describe her as loud. Is that really the type of girl you'd want to get paired with over the long term?

Just chill and let things unfold. You'd be surprised how many women would rather you just say what you think up front (as long as what you think doesn't come across as needy and whiny), rather than engage in some complex social dance that wastes time and masks your true intentions. Not all of course, but many.

As has been noted many times, it's a numbers game - the more times you cast your line, the more often you'll get a bite. Most of the time you end up standing there with your string getting wet for nothing. :D



mikeyb
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 111

06 Oct 2009, 2:23 pm

Willard wrote:
The fact that you're concerned enough to post the question tells me you're doing exactly what I did at your age - investing way too much in something that doesn't exist - the future.

What will happen will happen, good, bad or indifferent . Just say what you mean and mean what you say, and understand that you may be accepted or rejected based on that, but it's okay. Better to know right up front that there's no common ground for more, than find yourself having to live up to someone else's unrealistic expectations, or tolerate their unpleasant quirks just to keep up a facade. You do not have to meet Miss Right RIGHT NOW. Sometimes just hanging temporarily with Miss Sorta Okay is a good thing, too.

You already describe her as loud. Is that really the type of girl you'd want to get paired with over the long term?

Just chill and let things unfold. You'd be surprised how many women would rather you just say what you think up front (as long as what you think doesn't come across as needy and whiny), rather than engage in some complex social dance that wastes time and masks your true intentions. Not all of course, but many.

As has been noted many times, it's a numbers game - the more times you cast your line, the more often you'll get a bite. Most of the time you end up standing there with your string getting wet for nothing. :D
Excellent quote! You are right... this is just one experience... of hopefully many more to come. Better to try than to never try at all. :D



Tias
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 723
Location: Denmark

06 Oct 2009, 6:12 pm

You said you werent really into this right? Dosnt matter if the girl is hot or not right now.
What matters is, if you dont want to, you dont have to.

Imo you should just be friendly and try to go for being friends first.

I had abit something like this happend to me to o.o
Me and my friend were in a net cafe playing a game while he all of a sudden got a phone call from some girls he knew and we had to go to some mal and wait outside for them, and then one of the girls was like, really, i dont know if she was playing, or if it was my friends plan to make me a couple with a girl i didn't know, but she was like attacthing herself like a monkey to me >_>

And it wasn't the most comfortable thing.

So just do what you feel comfortable with