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worsedale
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06 Feb 2006, 6:11 pm

Everyday I consider this idea of 'emotional intelligence' and 'social intution', a supposed facet of humanity in which aspies are so lacking. But the more I analyse people's interactions, the more I live social contact in the moment and dissuade myself from conversation withdrawl for shyness, whatever, I find it increasingly hard to accept that these gems of social understanding are common to all people, bar us aspes.
Wherever I look people interact on a primary basis only, most do not show signs of capitalising on the emotions people imply in their faces and voices. Maybe its an issue of politeness gone mad-- we in socierty are so compelled to maintain a superficial social life where people are left to their own stuipid devices. If emotional intuition is defined as some glorified ability to 'see' what people are thinking, then I would say the majority are guilty of a gross misread of others' emotions and aspies and such like are sidelined for their seemingly introspective speech which serves them, but which is not really a hindrance.
I just believe social intelligence is not the intrinsic little skill it is portrayed to be. If it is that, it is something attributed to a privelaged minority who can work people to their own advantage. For the record, logic is also considered a very elusive skill of homo-sapiens- most researchers believe a very small minority can think about things rationally and logically without abstracting dogmatic thoughts and forming conclusions which do not follow from eachother.
Sorry for the long initial post but I had a flux of an argument to get down. :idea:



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06 Feb 2006, 6:18 pm

I think "Social Intelligence" is a good way to think of it, and like any kind of intelligence it comes in all ranges. A spectrum. Some people are better at math, some with art or writing, some with working the nuances of human interaction. Aspies are usually on the lower rungs of this Social Intelligence, but we're definitely not the only ones. And nobody is socially perfect. Sure, there's social geniuses, but even they make mistakes because interaction is so incredibly complex and unpredictable.


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Yupa
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06 Feb 2006, 8:55 pm

Emotional intelligence basically means the ability to read people- to know what they want, what they need, and how they're feeling right now. That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.



aspiesmom1
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06 Feb 2006, 9:31 pm

Yupa wrote:
Emotional intelligence basically means the ability to read people- to know what they want, what they need, and how they're feeling right now. That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.


Emotional intelligence is the ability to determine what people *really* mean by what they say. Most people rarely lay their true agenda out in black and white. (hence my signature) That is what is difficult about social communication. Even quite a few of us "NT's" have been known to get lost in the shuffle. :roll:


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Klytus
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13 Feb 2006, 2:14 pm

worsedale wrote:
I just believe social intelligence is not the intrinsic little skill it is portrayed to be.


Is it portrayed that way?
I think the universal assumption in the self-help industry is that everyone is born with the tools to develop their social/emotional intelligence, and that the rest comes down to effort. I think it's more likely that everyone possesses these tools (neurological wiring??) in varying degrees, and that people on the autistic spectrum are in the abnormal range (i.e., abnormally lacking).

I think it's certainly true that IQ alone is no guarantee of success, and that other forms of intelligence - most notably what people call emotional intelligence - play a large part.
On the other hand, there is plenty of scope for the self-help industry to milk this whole emotional intelligence idea. IQ is something that is supposed to stay pretty much constant throughout a person's life, but emotional intelligence is supposed to be something you can constantly improve. Hence all the books on developing your emotional intelligence.
I think this can then - unfortunately - lead to people who seem to lack emotional intelligence being thought of as merely lazy.



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13 Feb 2006, 4:35 pm

Emotional intelligence and social intelligence are separate but complimentary concepts. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage intuitive, instinctual reactions in oneself as well as in others. Social intelligence is the ability to persuade other people to work with one to accomplish one's goals.

I excel at some aspects of emotional intelligence while performing dismally at others. I am good at identifying my own emotions and using them to inform myself in the choices I make; I can inhibit the impulses of an emotion's default response. I do somewhat worse at identifying other people's emotions, honestly, but I am hardly devoid of empathy; sometimes people have called me very kind, sweet, and caring. Unfortunately, however, I sometimes also do or say things that may not be completely appropriate for the situation—to a more severe degree than is normal and thus part of the reason for my diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. Another area of emotional intelligence I am lacking in is self-motivation (i.e., not being dependent on external stimuli to accomplish something) and somewhat lacking in self-control when it comes to pursuing things I like (e.g., binge-eating).

My social intelligence is poor overall. Persuasive speaking and writing is a talent of mine, but my ability to build and maintain friendships and actually be a cohesive part of a group can be weak.