Detachment in the Morning

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I've mentioned about how I like to cuddle with my pillows and pretend that It's the Masculine TomBoyfriend of my dreams. I've also mentioned that I feel horrible first thing in the morning emotions wise. I've noticed that I don't feel secure or safe, I feel unloved and unwanted, I feel scared yet sad and depressed and angry. Some times I need time by myself before I interact with my parents who are deviously going to bug me first thing in the morning. It's almost like I experience falling in love and heartache every night and every morning. Anyone ever get this?

I bought big fluffy silky comforters to cuddle with. I absolutely hate sleeping alone. I have a theory that some people with AS, while having less need for social interaction in general than most NTs, have a greatly amplified need for that one special significant other relationship. Such people who have that unmet need will have negative emotions like what you're describing. Unfortunately, solving the problem is a lot more difficult than identifying the need.

When I wake up I always wanna sleep a little longer but this is due to health problems. I have a whole raft of stuffed animals to cuddle with. Including a large Ty stuffed Cheetah that is nearly the size of myself.

I still have my realistic stuffed Kitty, That's my childhood companion that I will keep with me forever I used to sleep with him (Kitty) but my parents told me that I should stop because I was 14 or 15. My father told me that I should put Kitty in the box in the basement which made me cry because it's more that a stuffed cat. That's my baby and I feel like I'm the mother So we reached a solution for me to keep Kitty in my room but not in bed. So Kitty is currently on top of my dresser. I kiss and hug Kitty goodnight every night and every morning. Kitty holds a mini stuffed sock money and a few feathers to comfort him at night. And I just got a tear in my eye just for saying that. Even though Kitty is just a stuffed cat that looks real (marble eyes and all), I LOVE CATS, they are like Children to me and I just feel like a Mommy figure to them, real or not. You know what I mean?

Long time ago, yes. I looked at your age (21) and it does seem to be around that time for me, and lasted a few years.

Shy, awkward, not much going, unsure of my place in the world, etc. Yeah, it's fairly easy to feel unloved and unwanted.

I'd say it's a phase, but that always seemed like a cop-out answer to me. You're having a problem and the only answer is "wait"???

The dreamworld was so much better than waking up alone. Anyhow... If you got out and did stuff (tires you out, gives you another reason to wake up in the morning) and a circle of friends (or a job) then it'll be a distraction. School bored me, so studying was not helpful, though I did read a lot.

INTP here, so YMMV

Cool, your INTP, close to ENTP. Neato


Though if I wait, nothing will happen so If I try more and more to do something about it, would it help more?

I'll caveat this: based upon my own personal experience...

If you do nothing, the problem will go away on its own. If you do something you *may* be able to resolve the problem now, but I can't identify that variable.

I was able to do somethings (e.g. date women, move in, snuggle with someone) and have the problem 'go away' but it was only temporary. When the relationship broke up, the same feelings came back.

It was only a few years later where I became "distracted" by reality and other interests came into play where I noticed I wasn't feeling the same. Nothing really changed in my life at that time that hadn't happened before.

Being the analytical type (haha, NT's) we try to figure out what was the variable, what was the change which lead to the difference? Time.

I moved out and then back home. No impact. I got a good job, lost a good job. Ditto. Met some girls, lost some girls, etc. Nothing.

But 'grew up' (whatever that means) and for some reason, the feeling went away.

Took a year off from women a few years back and the feeling did not re-appear.

What I am assuming is the variable is internal to you as a person, not some external force which causes you to act that way. Life and its experiences help you, but it's the overall set of experiences and time to digest which makes the feeling and understanding of your place in the world clear. Once you clear the hurdle, the feeling does not return.

<edit: re-read this and if it doesn't make sense or help, let me know. Have to run for a meeting so was pressed for time>