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kc8ufv
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09 Oct 2009, 9:44 am

I'm terrible at approaching girls, and there are two at work that I'm interested in, and they both are good friends. How do I start? I was just in the break room grabbing a snack, one came in, sat down, I sat down next to her, and she said she was waiting for the other. Then the other came in, and they went into the bathroom togeather. I think they both know I'm single. Do you think they are interested in me as well? The one that was in there asked if I had any plans this weekend, and she told me she has none.



deadeyexx
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09 Oct 2009, 10:46 am

Always worth a try to see if she'd like to join you in doing something this weekend. Just make sure you have a good idea of what you'd like to do or the conversation will get awkward.



kc8ufv
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09 Oct 2009, 11:36 am

That's always the problem. Anything to suggest? Conversations tend to get akward quick for me.



deadeyexx
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09 Oct 2009, 11:59 am

any movies you want to see, or bands you want to see play, or new restaraunts you want to try out? Always nice to have company.



SpongeBobRocksMao
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11 Oct 2009, 4:33 pm

I'm not very good at this myself. But try to do small talk with one of them first, talk about something basic and simple, but try to do this enough times so you can become friends with one of them. When you have got to know one of them and have became friends, it would then be the best time to ask to go to the movies or something, or perhaps a restaurant.


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Homer_Bob
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11 Oct 2009, 8:39 pm

Another person who wants a person he works with. Sorry man but dating a co-worker is one of the worst ideas. The relationships don't last and when they end it's ugly because you'd have to continue to see each(unless one of you quit). Plus do you really want your personal life to be out in the open? Well it's your choice but trust me, there's been plenty of co-workers I've liked(I never dated any but nevertheless) they all turned out to be nothing like I expected and they all turned out to be b******. I suppose being friends wouldn't hurt.



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11 Oct 2009, 9:21 pm

^^ THAT

Don't do it.

I tried it once. Never again.



Seanmw
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12 Oct 2009, 5:43 am

you have to be ninja. without being deceptive like one. :lol:

scope out some potential places/events that seems appropriate.
secure mission funds.
the best assassin is the one who doesn't have to hide.
be certain of your mission statement.
and proceed with exercised caution and smooth operation.
if the opportunity presents itself, probe the atmosphere with cursory conversation.
a few compliments here and there. discreetly gauging interest by reactions & replies.
and never forget, unless they're quite the daring individuals, they like most people aren't going to start giving outright signs of interest to someone they've been friends with for some time without a reason to think it might be welcome.
sending your own pre-emptive signs might help your case.
ambiguous enough to just be a mood-lightener if it turns out they had no such strong interest after all and we're just looking for casual friend-fun. prevention measures for awkward situations :lol: .

but Dilbert & that other guy may also make good points. co-workers might not be such a good idea. idk, i've personally never dated one.


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kingtut3
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12 Oct 2009, 1:05 pm

Role play approaching girls. I also have trouble knowing if a girl likes me. Have a friend observe and tell you if they like you. It was a friend who pointed out to me that a certain girl is crushing on me. I also told my mom about her behavior. My mom agrees that she is crushing on me.



Merle
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13 Oct 2009, 1:33 am

kc8ufv wrote:
I think they both know I'm single. Do you think they are interested in me as well? The one that was in there asked if I had any plans this weekend, and she told me she has none.


No, I think they were making small talk. It's *really* forward for a short conversation, initiated by a girl, to lead to a weekend date. Not saying it doesn't happen, just doesn't happen in a) an office b) so suddenly and c) to you.

Now that reality is setting in, would you like to change it? If the answer is yes, then ...

Quote:
That's always the problem. Anything to suggest? Conversations tend to get akward quick for me.


You can wing it, rehearse or plan ahead. Unless you have 'game', winging it is going to fail due to anxiety. Rehearsing without knowing the play is difficult.

I'm personally a big "plan ahead' guy. Since you don't know her interests, you're going to need to do a little research. Depending on the office, you can scope out her cubicle or find out what she does.

Get a crossword puzzle. Nothing hard. You can find different genre's (sex, music, etc.) which you think she might be interested in. Good conversation starter and if she expresses an interest, you have a ready made activity. Each question can lead to various scenarios or other questions.

Remember, women generally like to talk. Don't pester her with questions and know your escape plan.



superboyian
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14 Oct 2009, 5:18 pm

I'm terrible at approaching girls when I try to, I end up following them and then it just ends up them getting creeped out and me getting upset and in tears.... I did eventually end up going out with my best friend :) who happens to be a female which she ended up asking me out and the relationship lasted a long time, but then when I got too clingy which I totally didn't realise, it became a turn down and the relationship ended... I think im better at approaching them when they come to me unexpectedly :lol:


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techstepgenr8tion
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14 Oct 2009, 5:32 pm

Its extremely difficult if you don't know how to read body language. If you can - take note of who is interested in you, if you'd be interested in them feed into the conversation on a level that will work with her from what your getting of her identity. If you can't read body language, you really want to figure out the psychology of learning to do so - both for empathizing, staying with someone emotively in real-time, but also seeing red flags that tell you that you should get out of Dodge while you still have a chance.



polymathpoolplayer
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16 Oct 2009, 10:56 pm

kingtut3 wrote:
Role play approaching girls. I also have trouble knowing if a girl likes me. Have a friend observe and tell you if they like you. It was a friend who pointed out to me that a certain girl is crushing on me. I also told my mom about her behavior. My mom agrees that she is crushing on me.


I envy you. I have NEVER had one person in my life point out to me a person crushing on me.

EDIT: Oh yes I forgot I had but it was just once - I was dating my future wife (since deceased) and she pointed out a person who had the hots for me so it was wasted as I did not want to take the risk of dating them both and having them find out - and my fear was due to a strange situation that had happened to me years before which is related as follows: I was dating a woman who was reluctant to sleep with me, always not in the mood, and always asking if I couldn't just go sleep with another gf (AS IF!! ! I mean who has that kind of game?) the upshot is that both these women in the past dumped me once they found out about each other - the SUPREME irony being that I was not trying to two-time them at all - I was really into the new chick and hoping the other one would just forget about me and we hadn't seen each other in two weeks - but the one that really didn't like me all that much called me the night after I'd slept with the second one, not intentionally a ONS but cut short - a further irony being that the one who didn't like me NEVER called except that one time.

And in addition (I know it sounds like this is just about me but while I'm at it I might as well be complete in my regretful state of mind) almost every time a woman has come onto me and made it blatantly clear has been when either I, she or both of us has been in a relationship and I had too strong ethics to do anything. Some people would be flattered to have gotten such attention - but I'd rather not know, because at some point in the future if this happens again I may just be tempted because in the past every relationship I was in (when those events happened) ended eventually, so I might as well have had some fun. Life seems to be feast or famine for the most part.

Many would say 'it's what you did in life that you failed on you should have the most regrets about' but as I see it later in life it's what I DIDN'T do (risks not taken) that I regret the most.



Last edited by polymathpoolplayer on 17 Oct 2009, 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Space
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17 Oct 2009, 3:18 pm

Dilbert wrote:
^^ THAT

Don't do it.

I tried it once. Never again.

Probably good advice.

Why not just say what you were going to say to this girl to some attractive girl sitting in a coffee shop or somewhere? It takes a lot of courage, but in the end you're much safer and will probably learn more people skills. -my 2cents