An Aspie LOVE Story Sort of...........

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I had deep feelings for an aspie friend of mine for a couple of years, but it just never seemed to get off the ground. He always resisted the idea of dating and insisted that we remain just friends. We've always done things that a normal couple would do minus the physical intimate stuff. We have nothing but good things to say about each other and we always come through for each other. Our ideas about life are very similar and our values are the same. It's all there except the physical part.

Because of feeling lonely I got into a relationship with a "normal" man in March of this year. He told me from the first that he was sent to me by God and that he had prayed for me ever night. I have over three thousand emails from this guy. We saw each other from March until this August. He told me the first week in August that he had been hurt before and was afraid of getting hurt again, but he was making progress and that if I would be patient with him that I would get everything that I ever wanted or needed from him. The next week on the 14 I received an email from a beautician that lives in our town asking who I was to him, since she was dating him. I went to visit the guy and he kept saying the woman was telling lies on him and that she was stalking him. He kept saying I was the best friend he had ever had and that he was going to get to the bottom of it all and then get back in touch with me. I haven't heard from him since, except when he has deleted me from the friendship sites that we were friends on. When this happened I was hysterical and the first thing I did was call my aspie friend and he came to me. Every time I hit rock bottom he's there to get me back up on my feet. I remember saying to him that evening that he never would have done that to me and he assured me that there was no way he would have done anything of the sort.

The "normal" guy destroyed what little bit of self-esteem that I had and now I feel terrible. My aspie friend spends a lot of time trying to convince me what a wonderful person I am. I love him, but it's not a normal type of love. I would gladly trade any ideas of ever having a romantic relationship with anyone if my aspie friend would agree to move in with me as friends and stay with me for the rest of my life. He refuses to do that because he can't ever see himself living with anyone.

I wish you guys would realize how special you are. And for people like me that have been treated badly by men, your calmness is a breath of fresh air.

gee whiz that 'normal' guy seems like a real weirdo.

Yeah, he sounds like a real loon, or at least a player. If a girl were to tell me that God had sent her to me, I'd call the men in the white coats. Sounds like he may have been using that kind of thing to mask what he was doing with other girls. I'm no expert, but the online un-friending would seem to confirm this.

Of course even though people not on the autism spectrum are typically classified in these parts as "NT" or "normal", this is quite misleading in that it includes many people with serious mental illnesses, among other difficulties. Their difficulties in finding and maintaining relationships may in many cases be more obvious than that of most people with AS.

It still hurts a lot though. I realize that he wasn't what he wanted me to think he was, but when you care for someone it's hard to just get up one day and not care. My Aspie friend has been the best for looking out for me during this time. If anything it's caused he and me to be closer. I think it's a bunch of crap when people say that people with aspergers do not have feelings! He's the first one to write or get in touch with me to see how things are going for me.

Okay, not so nice story... but you are not going to tell here that the only reason you opened this topic is this sentence:

You know there was a time that I craved advice about my aspie friend, but that passed. It took forever to know that he even considered us as friends, but now I know that he loves me a lot and that he always will. This topic was posted because I believe aspies get a bad rap. I have almost ever book written concerning aspergers and I'm well aware of what it means to be diagnosed with it, but my point is that it's just not the whole of the person, but a part. What the guy did to me was something that my aspergers friend would have never in a million years done.


I also work at a school with disabled children. In the last year we have had several children put into regular education classroom that I know have aspergers. My friend and I have even given talks to the teachers where I work about the situation. We work together to make things better for people.

I would not know if Aspies really are such good friends? Sometimes I can be so busy with things that I forget to contact my best friends for weeks. I do not know if it is a Aspie related trait or a personal character trait. On the other hand I always try to help my friends to my best abilities.

Nice that you try to get children in normal education, hopefully it is a good thing for them.

I had feelings for a aspie girl and i still have... mine started of similar to your story, we spoke for hours everyday, do a lot of things together and i mean everything like a couple again just like your story apart from physical stuff. Until that day she asked if we could hold hands. I felt so happy dispute i don't normally like being touched and me and her eventually went out with each other which it lasted for a couple of good years. sadly me and her are not together now but still remain as good friends but it still breaks my heart since she like another guy but i would still support her no matter what.

so yea aspie love would normally work out very well especially well. if i was you, i would tell him how i would feel. most like he will understand hope that's helped enough and good luck

Well, if Sands aspie friend is in his forties as well, I guess he can be pretty serious about what he wants (living alone for example) and what he doesn't want Don't you think?