Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

JessicaDayla
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 366

11 Oct 2009, 10:15 am

Have you ever been jealous of someone and not realized it?

I recently realized that I'm not bi like I thought I was, and that what I thought of attraction towards females was actually jealousy. Go having difficulty with emotions! Glad I have that sorted out though.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with jealousy?



Maggiedoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,126
Location: Maryland

11 Oct 2009, 11:52 am

JessicaDayla wrote:
I recently realized that I'm not bi like I thought I was, and that what I thought of attraction towards females was actually jealousy.

Like that you stare at other women because you wish you looked like them, not because you're attracted to them? Doesn't everyone do that?



JessicaDayla
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 366

11 Oct 2009, 12:07 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
JessicaDayla wrote:
I recently realized that I'm not bi like I thought I was, and that what I thought of attraction towards females was actually jealousy.

Like that you stare at other women because you wish you looked like them, not because you're attracted to them? Doesn't everyone do that?


Probably, never really thought about it though.



OhNowIGetIt
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

29 Oct 2009, 7:21 pm

I'd say I realized something similar... that what I thought was sexual attraction in another woman/ girl (back before I was really a grown woman) was zoning in on and wanting something about her that I really wanted someone to want about me.

Did that make any sense?



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,618
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

05 Nov 2009, 2:31 pm

Sometimes I am jealous of all other females because they are not me..



caissa
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2009
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 130

11 Nov 2009, 6:20 pm

That is so weird, I had the same experience! I felt intense jealousy and fascination with women who were comfortable with their sexuality and very sexual/ sexy... I thought it was attraction until I actually did have a lesbian encounter and I HATED it and knew then I was definitely not bi or lesbian. I realized then that "the feeling" was not attraction but was instead sadness/ jealousy/ intense interest. I get very confused by my emotions!! But I know now I am 100% straight.



MissConstrue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,810
Location: Earth

11 Nov 2009, 10:19 pm

Well I guess that makes sense.

However I seem to find myself jealous to both those whom I'm attracted to and those I'm not. I don't believe I have strong jealous tendencies but I find it is more intense with the ones I'm attracted to.

For instance, they have a date or have better things to do while being my friend...even though I'm attracted to them. I don't know how to describe it but it's almost like a possesive feeling. FYI I'm usually not aware of these feelings before it's too late and even then I'm not so overt in showing them. I think perhaps my issues stems from the very fact that I have trouble in the dating game and the frustrations that come from having social akwardness thus social isolation.

Women are very strange and confusing even to me though. Although I'm not attracted to them, there is this odd vibe I get whenever I'm around the ones that come off a little too open and affectionate. I admit that the feelings are confusing as I'm not attracted to girls but there is that feeling. Not sure how to describe it accurately only that the feelings are mixed with repulsion and then desire but what desire I don't know. I don't consider myself bi but I have found myself attracted to some girls but not in the way most guys and gals find them sexually appealing even though there was some physical attraction involved.

Anyway I'm not a big fan of sexual labels or even the mainstream culture in what pertains to sexual desire and love. I think it's much more complex than what we percieve on the surface. I will say that it seems girls express more or maybe experience more emotions of jealousy and attraction between eachother than guys. Not sure if it's a girl thing or more of a cultural thing....maybe even both. But the OP is not the first I've seen describe these conflicting feelings. It could also be a coping mechanism that was used to control those said feelings.


_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan


Stinkypuppy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Oct 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,553

11 Nov 2009, 11:48 pm

Um, I don't know... there's a very fine line between jealousy and admiration.

I'm bi and a guy... but there's typically something I admire in a guy that makes me attracted to him. And things I admire in a guy usually get incorporated into my own personality and behavior somehow, i.e. I want it for myself. I do get quite jealous sometimes of the guys I'm attracted to, also. So I'd have to agree with MissConstrue, from the guy point of view.

So I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss your potential homosexual side if I were you. :mrgreen:


_________________
Won't you help a poor little puppy?