need for introspection

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I've come to realize why I don't like to socialize is because I don't like to go for very long without zoning out into my own little world. I think I need it for my psychological survival and this is also why I'd be bad at a highly social job. I really can't go for very long without drifting off. Anybody else feel this need intensely?

I do. My eyes glaze over when small talk goes on for too long, more than a minute or two usually.

I know what you mean but I also mean the need to be alone with yourself frequently.

I do the same thing. I always find myself zoning out after I've been social for too long. I agree with you about it being psychological survival - I feel like this is something I do unconsciously to try and protect myself from anxiety and overstimulation.

Yes, that too. I have a need to be thinking and analyzing constantly. I'm an absent minded introvert. When I can't be left alone the outside world becomes an irritation that I try to shut out. I need my peace and quiet time.

I think this is what stops me from getting really close to people. It's funny, I treasure my time with my son but I'm so lucky he and I are very much the same and it is easy for us to spend time in companionable silence.

I do this... need this... as well. I have always required much alone time to sit and hit the inner reset button... Hell, I just need to disappear into my head even if it serves no stress relieving purpose. I do this for hours every day. I love it and I need it.

This is why someone told me once, when I was out in a social situation, that I had no "verve".

This indeed is something I too have thought about.

Everytime I was invited to an acquiantance house or place of entertainment there wasn't a moment where I wanted to leave just to space out. I found the patterns in my excuses to be that I'm busy when really I was tired or I wanted to be alone for a while.

I blame it on my lazy ass executive dysfunction...

And right now I'm residing in a motel because I can't stand the noise and people at my place. Now I got everyone worried and normally I'd stay for their benefit but right now it feels like a necessity which I can't explain very well.

I had a group of friends for a while once. The would always say, "Oh Dustin's being EMO again..." They were referring to me spacing out in a group and staring at the floor. It was usually after someone said something insulting so I would think, "Ok, I'm done with this conversation." I wasn't really particularly upset, it's just I would get easily tired from socializing and an insult would push me from tired, to a shut down. Everyone though this meant I was depressed and trying to get attention. Really it was just that I needed time to recuperate in my own world. The more I resisted the urge to do this the more tired I would be. So yes, I know exactly what you're talking about and I do the same thing.

The convenience of being a smoker in a non-smoker world: you can go out any time you like, nobody won't say anything.

Definitely.

If I don't get the time to be alone and retreat within I become exhausted and frazzled.

If I don't have the opportunity to re establish contact with myself.....I feel that I'm on the brink of disintergration.

My son and I are the same way-I'm always happy about it while others are looking at me like "how do you do it? It must be so hard raising him." It's easy, lol.... almost TOO easy because we are so much alike. I look at my daughter and think "why is everyone looking at him as a problem? That's the one I don't understand (meaning my daughter)." lol.

I LOVE having time to just sit there and space out.... crave it really, and get super frustrated if I am unable to do so. This causes a lot of stress between my boyfriend and I at times. He's very introverted, but also needy attention wise from me, so he wants to be around me a LOT. I have to tell him things like "After I go to my mom's house for a weekend, I need 3 days to myself to regroup and get back into the swing of things around the house before anyone can come over."

It causes emotional insecurity at times for him, but luckily he is very willing to allow me to have that time. Unfortunately, during those 3 days, he calls every day asking if I'm ready for company yet, lol, which makes me feel like I lost an entire day to just be by myself and I get really annoyed.

Other times, I just want to be by myself and he has a lot of trouble understanding it. It really sucks to sit there and have to try to think up reasons for wanting to be by myself, because "I just want to be by myself so I can zone out all night" never seems to be the right way to put it, or it's just not a good enough reason for him-he just doesn't understand the need for it... so while I'm attempting to get in my spacing out time, I'm stuck thinking up a million reasons why I don't want company.

It completely ruins the moment, lol.... kind of like having to work on your day off and cancel all of your plans.

I find I need zone out time frequently too, so much that it's hard to stay focused on a social situation for very long.

Yeah, I do that too. It's like a switch flips in my head that says 'all done talking for now'. If I can't escape the social situation quickly I start to become a little panicky. I will actually go into shutdown (or meltdown, but that's infrequent) mode if I can't get some time alone to offset all of the socializing quickly. Sometimes, it's not just to zone off into my mind, but also to submerse myself into my own solitary interests. I've never had a full time job because of this. I get way, way too overwhelmed if I can't retreat from people frequently.

I have a pre-adolescent daughter that doesn't understand my need for conversation to be in small doses. She talks a mile a minute, and always has something to say about everything. She seriously overloads me.