Married Aspies?

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Been in one short term relationship and two long term relationships. I Had my first bf when i was 16. Three months. Then i was single for 3 months and hooked another bf for 6 years. I wasn't short or blond or 93 pounds so i dumped him after getting to know someone online and decided to go with him. I have been with him for, i think 13, years. If i went single again, i wouldn't know what to do with myself. I haven't been w/o someone since i was 16! But i am happyish. Not married and most likely will never be married, but we did have 2 kids, one on the spectrum and the other with a speech delay.

given the social security structure in the US, I think it's unwise for one person to sacrifice career to be a family caretaker unless they're married. to get spouse benefits you have to stay married for 10 years, and even then the caretaker spouse does not accrue disability benefits (as I found from bitter experience). as long as this country treats wives and children according to archaic laws of chattel, cohabitating and staying home with the kids guarantees a more severe degree of elder poverty for women (because more women take years or decades out of their work years to care for offspring).

just an FYI for anyone who might not have thought of how much it will suck when you hit retirement age without savings or social security.

i'm an autie and been dating an nt guy for almost 4 years, dont ask how we are doing it, but we are, he does everything for me i mean everything, very strong guy mentally, ppl say its impossible or ask how or why he would date me, he said he sees a true person inside of me with a heart and a lot of knowledge stuck behind a lot of stimming(which a lot of ppl dont, some dont even see that i have a personality), and im thankful for that.

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

My partner and I are somewhere in our 7th year together (no official date, it just "happened" one day). I think the lack of specific "anniversary" takes some of the stress away of counting the years.

Married 12 years to a guy with milder spectrum disorder than mine. He has several AS/HFA traits but also NT traits that clash with my symptoms and that's how we found out about AS.

First marriage lasted 6 years. Like myself he was quite odd!

Have been in long term relationship for 20 years, married almost 16. Have had difficult times along with great times, mixed culture ( not easy for a feminist inclined woman and a Mediterranean man).
He cannot be seen as the typical for his culture and is considered unusual. We each allow eachother space, we are monogamous, and each of us has obsessive aspects and special interests that are stronger than the normal.
Have achieved a quiet sense of peace and belonging within a respectful, caring relationship.

I went out with my wife for 10 years before we got married (we were high-school sweethearts, and too young to get married).

We've since been married for 12 years...

So all up, we've been together 22 years - and we're still happy (most of the time).

Married first time round at age 21. Didn't work out. We met through a dating agency. He wanted a mother-substitute with sex on his terms on the side, and I wanted respect and to be finally regarded as an adult by my parents (who sided with him in still trying to control my entire life). Ended up divorcing six years later.

I've been married to my second husband for nine years now. We're not sure whether he's on the spectrum or not - he has some AS characteristics - thing is, while I have thoughts of getting a formal diagnosis, he's not seriously bothered and just wants for us to be able to live our lives as we choose without being persecuted as freaks.

poopy, Aimless, I can relate to that view - my folks tried to brainwash me with the whole marriage thing. While I was sent to a 'good' academic school, I don't think I was seriously expected to have a career (my parents refused to pay for me to go to university because I wanted to study art, which they said was a waste of my education, because art was what you took if you were too stupid to do a 'proper' course ). The message I got was basically that spending a lot of time making myself look good and attracting a 'suitable' man was the key to success in life. I failed miserably at the 'looking good' part - I find the whole obligatory beauty thing incredibly boring - and since there was no other role for a woman, I learned early in life that I was not acceptable, no matter how much smarts or creativity or other qualities I tried to develop. I find it incredibly sad that this dated idea (with the addition of obligatory sexual availability and the option of going for 'celebrity' guys, both of which would have seemed 'common' to my mother) is still being pushed at girls as a desirable life path.

Been together with my NT partner for almost 19 years. We haven't married, although we have been legally entitled to marry for a few years. Not sure if we will cross that bridge or not--we haven't seen it as very important, to date.

I'm in a long term relationship and we intend to get married eventually. My gf is officially NT yet display quite a few AS-like qualities. I think we both feel we keep getting closer all the time. It is very wonderful We normally talk of our connection as our "union" as opposed to our individual selves. We've been in relationship for several years by now.

Aspie married with an Aspie (7 years) and with a LFA child (actually I think she will pass to Aspie in the future).

I have been married to the same woman for almost 20 years now. We have two sons (one has AS like me). In fact, the woman I married I dated for 7 years---my first date. I never dated anyone else.

glider18 wrote:

Newly married, but I've been in the relationship for six years. If anything I think the AS makes me more likely to be monogamous and long-term relationship-y. It helps that my man is definitely somewhat on the spectrum as well.

The couple that stims together, stays together

I've been with my husband for 5 and a half years. We've had times where we weren't together together, but always in love and the first to call each other. We've been married for 7 months. Though now that I've gotten out on my own (I lived with my mother for the first few years of our relationship) and my problems are much more noticeable, we have a lot of issues with certain things. He's actually said to me that I'm so weird, he doesn't even know if he can handle it some days. =( But yes, I am in a long term relationship/married.