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teflon_woman
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21 Oct 2009, 3:01 pm

Psychologists seem to agree that a sense of belonging is a good predictor of mental health. My own mental health hasn't been so great for the past couple years, and I've been feeling a serious loss of the sense of belonging that I have had at previous times in my life. But how does one acquire it? Like many here, my social skills are... abnormal. (Though psychologists note that just socializing with a group is not the same thing as and not necessarily conducive to a sense of belonging.) I don't feel that I have the resources necessary to purchase the social capital missing in my life. What can I do to enhance my sense of community with the people I already know? And how can I meet new people who I will feel a rapport with?

Always intersted in what people here have to say!



FaithHopeCheese
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21 Oct 2009, 3:47 pm

All of my relationships have a level of discomfort to them. Even the one friend I have who I feel does understand me, still doesn't get me. I think all humans probably feel this way, but then again, maybe they would rather not be known...... I think being placed in a body, as we are, is part of the reason we feel so alone; like one spirit being divided into billions of pieces, causing a disconnect. I've always thought of it like that. I keep thinking I should find a way to volunteer, but I always chicken out. That might be one way for you to gain a sense of purpose, too. Sorry if this is not exactly what you are looking for, these are just the thoughts that came to me.



FaithHopeCheese
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21 Oct 2009, 8:38 pm

Just call me the thread stopper......I guess if you want to feel a sense of belonging, you have to be persistent....Know that you belong wherever you go, whether or not other's can see it. Validate yourself, and don't look to other's to do it for you. If you are looking for real connections, it probably takes years to form them, unlike people who hit it off immediately, and then the friendship collapses over some perceived slight or "betrayal": "she knew I liked him and there she is, TALKING to him!"..... Sorry I am dealing with my own frustrations with lack of connections, and I'm probably projecting them onto you...It's a mystery to me.



Shebakoby
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21 Oct 2009, 10:47 pm

well to feel like you belong somewhere, it has to feel familiar, and the people have to feel familiar and should have similiar interests.