why always so anxious?!

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i have very bad social anxiety, i am ALWAYS anxious.
whether thinking about scary things ill have to tackle in the future, or just in the moment....it seems i'm always stressing to appear "normal", or have those stomach thrills- like on a rollercoaster....that or i get intense fear, and want to run away, or just feel stressed and depressed.
often at school when im walking around, i want to SCREAM, i have to like, try and keep it in, it seems. i hardly talked to anyone today. . didnt really interact. no one really wants to talk to me, i am aware i seem pretty unapproachable, but i cant help it. . it occurred to me, nowadays at school i dont really talk to anyone unless its in lesson, or it's my best friend, who was absent the last two days.
WHY do i have social anxiety. why do i ALWAYS feel anxious?

When I first started working with my current quack 4 years ago, the first thing he worked on was my hypervigilence. Turns out it was a childhood remnant of PTSD.

i wish i had a quack. whats hypervigilence, exactly?

In this case it means that because you instinctively know that you're at a disadvantage socially, because the things that come naturally to the people around you don't come naturally (or even make sense) to you, you are constantly (though mostly unconsciously) analyzing the minutiae of every situation you find yourself in, to try and compensate for the things you might otherwise miss. You are, without even being aware of it 'hyper-vigilant' - always on your guard - it's extremely stressful, even physically exhausting.

It's a major component of social anxiety and the reason many Aspies need 'alone time' after being in a particularly socially demanding situation. We have to decompress from the tension of trying to keep up with too many subtle interactions at the same time.

But beyond that, I also have the tendency to anxiously worry about everything, analyzing and going over possibilities until I make myself sick with the stress, often for nothing - most of the horrible worst-case scenarios I imagine never come to pass - but I try to be braced for them just in case.

It seems like my anxiety is necessary. When I'm relaxed I can't function as well, I become absent minded and forgetful. It sucks but I have to be tense and vigilant or I get into trouble. Always wondered how NT's are able to function so well while being relaxed and social. I don't get it. Somehow I feel this is related to NT's superior ability to "multi-task". The side-effect of being unable to multi-task is constant stress and anxiety. Hence my need for lots of down time - my time to get away from people and chaotic stressful environments.

My anxiety isn't necessarily fear though. It's just a constant low-grade tension that I can feel throughout my body. It often turns into anger and frustration as well. I often get so stressed that I snap at people frequently. It's hard to control it.

when i'm relaxed i can get uber unresponsive and reclusive or seem like i have ADD. i am normal at times, though.

Gah I can relate. It feels like it's you against everyone else, and they're all watching you waiting for you to mess up so that they can hate you forever. I know it's irrational but I'm not sure how to make it stop, either. :/ I have to keep imagining what my friend told me, that nobody's analyzing you and nobody really cares, and if you mess up then hey, everyone makes mistakes, and nobody will remember later.

It's really frustrating though. I love being in places like Wal-Mart where you aren't expected to be social, but I'm always afraid that I'll run into someone I know and that I'll act in a wrong way or something. It actually happened the other day, someone yelled hi from a car and I didn't recognize them so I just kinda waved a little and kept walking. ><

i can relate to all you speak of. but i dont feel like they will hate me. just think im a douchbag.

i can relate to all you speak of. but i dont feel like they will hate me. just think im a douchbag.

maybe have an ipod with u at all time? would tha help? do u have any sensory problems? maybe wearing ankle weights or weighted vest would help ya? i dont have social anxiety and i feel bad for thsoe to have it, i cant imagine that, i do whatever wherever which is not good cuz i sorta am not aware of a lot of my actions which can be bad, but my advice for u is to see if u can maybe try to direct ur attention to something else might help l;ike i suggested above?

actually, listening to music increases the panic. its relaxing, but not when it shuts off one of my senses to the outside world. also, if my music is played out loud, it makes me feel like i'm being exposed. my music is very private.

I get that way too.. always wondering how people are reading into what I'm listening to and stuff, it drives me nuts! people judge so much based on what you listen to, and I've never quite known what I should listen to, or even what I liked. Besides stuff my parents put on, I rarely listened to music as a kid because I didn't know what to listen to.. I don't listen to much music now, for very much the same reason. If I do listen to something, it's usually the same song or same couple of songs over and over again.

hmm what about just wearing ear plugs or a baggy hood to cover ur eyes to bright lights? were any of the weighted ideasd help? is there anything u can hold in ur hand to fidget with to help calm you down?

sleeves help. have them pulled over my palms. . i cant wait until my magazine subscriptions come, i think ill start bringing them t school. nothign wrong with reading a newscientist at lunch time when my friend isnt there. .
id wear a hood, but i think my head is too big. XD. it doesnt look right.

oh im glad im not the only one who gets self concious about my music. dont you also hate if someone disses your taste? i do.

I get pretty easily really anxious. A big issue for me. Darn difficult too ...

Down time has been mentioned a lot. Works well for me. Pretend I'm back in the womb. Safe. Simple. No thoughts, if possible. Soothing silence. That's pretty much what works for me.

I too get really anxious when I'm out and about. Then I hyperfocus and ignore everything except what I am doing right in that very second. The rest is pure illusion. Makes me relax and feel real again. But it is tireing too .. School was always really stressful for me. Not sure what to do about that ...

Interesting about hypervigilance!

i do tend to feel like i am in an illusion, as well. things are a bit distant and the noises hurt my brain. X/