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DemonAbyss10
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28 Oct 2009, 1:12 am

Well, having recently read the first 4 books so far released for A Song of Ice and Fire, I think i have become inspired somewhat to begin writing again. I will post some of the intro. I am open to constructive criticism and what not, just one thing, I still havent come up with a name for the story yet.

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"Why do you do what you do?" people would ask me when they find out that I am a sellsword. Most individuals in my profession would say that they are in it for fame and fortune, yet others would reply that they do it for the thrill that being in battle brings them. The answer I give to most people other than those who have grown close to me however is, "to find myself".
~Daevos Stormborne

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CHAPTER 1 (just a partial, still.)
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In the Kingdom of Obeiros, a time of war is quickly approaching. The inns and taverns have been having much more business than the usual drunkard or two or ten. The army of the kingdom has been scouring the kingdom for those willing to fight in the war that was soon to be. This had been in turn attracting would be mercenaries and sellswords to Obeiros.
A young man woke up in his room to the shout of a recruitment officer in the tavern downstairs. He had short, jet-black hair; emerald eyes and a lean figure. He had the dark complexion of a man who worked as a farmhand. He slipped into his clothing and headed downstairs into the tavern. All manner of people were crowding the tavern, from the barkeep and serving girls to the young men and old grizzled mercenaries who were chatting up the recruiter to get hired to fight in the war. This is the same reason as to why Daevos was staying at the inn. He wanted to go something other than work te fields day after day, bu he did not know what. He knew about the tidings of wart for the longest time but was at first reluctant to join up. He then decided to go after he received news that his brothjer had gone missing after a previous battle with the Kingdom of Erros. Thus he had now found himself in front of the recruiter to sign the charter along with numerous other men who wanted to be part of the war against Erros.


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DemonAbyss10
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02 Nov 2009, 10:26 pm

just added a bit more, and am trying to figure out something, that i would like to have some opinions on.

I am wanting to have Multiple point of view characters, that much is certain. As for the intro to every chapter, i am thinking of putting a quote from said characters that will be of them reflecting back on a situation that might end up happening in said chapter. Kind of use it as foreshadowing for future events as well. What would your opinions be on that if you were a potential reader of the story? I will say though that i kind of prefer people who like to read fantasy to give their opinion but all will be welcome.


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kxmode
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03 Nov 2009, 12:08 am

If I may, I would suggest creating an outline of your story first. It's much easier to create the beginning, middle, and end in outline format instead of trying to make a long story up as you go along. You can spend a lot of time developing and finessing the outline to a point where writing it will be really focused. There are many ways to draft an outline. One way is to create a list of key events then fill in those events with bridge moments to bind them altogether. Another way to draft the traditional chapter list with a list of what happens in each chapter (this is what J.K. Rowling did for all seven Harry Potter books).

"He wanted to go something other than work te fields day after day, bu he did not know what."

Don't worry about grammar and punctuation, just write. You can deal with editing later.


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DemonAbyss10
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03 Nov 2009, 12:25 am

the outline isn't what i am gonna post though, as i don't want to really give the whole plot away. I do have an outline written up, however it is a very rough draft. Though i will say a outline does help with some aspects, though i do rather hate it when you piece together two things but you cant get them to meet up exactly as you planned in the outline. A partial outline, as in the start point and end point to each individual plot thread is more or less what i favor.

As for grammar and punctuation. usually ill check through it all once i complete a chapter. If i type fast i make a lot more mistakes than when i write slow. That is also considering the fact that that is all just an excerpt from my proto-rough draft, just testing the waters, so stuff most likely will change as I look over stuff once more. Yeah, i will admit i have an odd way of organizing things, and an odd way of written expression perhaps. Somehow I am afraid i may get a bit too 'formal' as I write this story and it may seem to be forced because of it. On the other hand very casual sounding writing bugs me, but i sometimes end up using it if I want to make spoken text feel more natural.

As for the outline, I don't really post those on the internet. Mainly because i get a bit paranoid that someone may come along and steal my idea.


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