parents of Female Aspies....what would you say???

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My 20 year old daughter has Aspergers. She had a disastrous 8 month long marriage last year. It hurt her, it hurt us. Now there is a new man in her life. He is wonderful, but I know he doesn't understand a lot about her Aspergers.

There is so little written about female relationships when it is the female who has Aspergers. So I thought I would try to write an essay or a book about the female relationship challenges when dealing with Aspergers. I want him to understand what it is he will be dealing with. He is so in love with her and I know her feelings are getting strong for him as well but with that will come a whole new set of challenges.

So for anyone out there with a daughter with Aspergers, young, old, married, not married what would you want a potential significant other to know about your daughter. I would love to include any and all of these answers in my book.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Well, I'm not a parent of a female aspie, but I am one


My boyfriend is currently learning as well how to deal with me. On numerous occasions he has said, "I feel like I'm in a classroom when I am around you, constantly having to remind myself that you are not like everyone else. I deal with people on a regular basis and it's hard to remember that you are different and think differently."

He said he constantly having to watch what he is saying, remember about using different phrases and such, and he has to remember my responses are usually not really emotional but there is something in how I'm thinking making me get frustrated. He has to remember I don't process things the same way, or as quickly, and don't read into things so he has to tell me word for word what he means.

I think he should know that it can be really hard for us to communicate, so he has to pay attention so he can notice when something is wrong or when he's done something that bothers her, and try to rectify the problem without being prompted. Although I guess that's a good thing to do in any relationship.

Also it would be nice if he stood up for her in social situations and maybe even helped her out (in subtle ways) in conversations so she wouldn't have to feel as awkward. That's what I'd like, anyway, but of course I'm not her.