Do people remember that power shifts?

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Greentea
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14 Nov 2009, 4:14 am

This little story is an example just to illustrate what I mean to ask below:

I moved to a new area and visited the neighborhood doctor. He gave me his business card with contact details and times he receives patients in his clinic. One day I went to the clinic and he was leaving. He got angry that I hadn't called to make an appointment (I live 10 meters from his clinic and appointments can only be made during the time he's receiving patients, so I just go directly and I wait till there's a vacant slot). He also got angry that I came later than the time he finishes work at the clinic. I showed him the card he'd given me (which turns out had all the times and days wrong). Not only did he not apologize for giving me a wrong card, making me come at the wrong time and getting angry at me for coming at the wrong time when it was his fault, but he got even angrier at me and scolded me even more. He and I know that there's no other doctor in the neighborhood, so there's no question to either of us that however badly he may behave towards me, short of malpractice, I have to put up with it in silence, and however he may attack me, I have to be submissive. This kind of situation is what I call "abuse of power". The power lies in that there's no other doctor around.

Now, the very moment another doctor comes to work in our neighborhood (and it can happen any minute), myself and the rest of the patients abused by him will leave him en masse for the other doctor, naturally. He'll have no patients, or very few left. I've no doubt this is not an aggressive person but just someone who knows himself in a position of power over his patients right at this time.

I've seen this happen with restaurants, doctors, internet forums, pharmacies, stores, etc.

So my question is: don't people who are momentarily in a situation of power know that power shifts and that if they abuse power now they'll pay later? Since I'm the one with the impaired ToM, how come they don't know and I do?


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BruceCM
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14 Nov 2009, 4:23 am

In theory, he presumably does know that but must enjoy his current situation too much to worry about it. It's like businesses that don't realize good customer service is in their own best interests! :)



Greentea
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14 Nov 2009, 4:39 am

BruceCM wrote:
must enjoy his current situation too much


:lol: :lol: don't know what I find funny about this, but I do. I guess that being able to abuse people is too tempting to let go...


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BruceCM
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14 Nov 2009, 4:47 am

Glad you can laugh about it - hope that's enough for now. :lol:



14 Nov 2009, 4:57 am

Ah another one of those situations where people can't admit their mistake. Too proud.



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14 Nov 2009, 8:35 am

Actually, I think that people don't remember. Why that is I don't know. Maybe they are so egocentric they can't see beyond the present situation. That kind of thing is true in relationships too. I know people who dump on other people and are shocked and hurt when it's their turn to be the victim.


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IMForeman
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14 Nov 2009, 9:07 am

I think neurotypicals can be too close and involved in a social situation to take the long view or see the big picture sometimes. In that way, we sometimes notice things they don't because we aren't that engaged by the immediate social scene.



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14 Nov 2009, 9:11 am

IMForeman wrote:
I think neurotypicals can be too close and involved in a social situation to take the long view or see the big picture sometimes. In that way, we sometimes notice things they don't because we aren't that engaged by the immediate social scene.


exactly.


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fiddlerpianist
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15 Nov 2009, 12:09 am

IMForeman wrote:
I think neurotypicals can be too close and involved in a social situation to take the long view or see the big picture sometimes. In that way, we sometimes notice things they don't because we aren't that engaged by the immediate social scene.

Take out "in a social situation" from that sentence and substitute "the autistic" for "neurotypicals" and you still very much have a valid sentence.


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southwestforests
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15 Nov 2009, 3:16 am

Greentea wrote:
So my question is: don't people who are momentarily in a situation of power know that power shifts and that if they abuse power now they'll pay later?

"That only happens to other people, it won't happen to me."


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TheDoctor82
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15 Nov 2009, 3:22 am

southwestforests wrote:
Greentea wrote:
So my question is: don't people who are momentarily in a situation of power know that power shifts and that if they abuse power now they'll pay later?

"That only happens to other people, it won't happen to me."


bin-go!


And of course, when it does happen...

"well, it's not my fault, the other people just don't know what a good thing they had..."



Greentea
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15 Nov 2009, 5:21 am

Are people really so naive? Then why do they say that we Aspies are the naive ones? Sounds like everyone is naive...


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15 Nov 2009, 5:32 am

Greentea wrote:
Are people really so naive? Then why do they say that we Aspies are the naive ones? Sounds like everyone is naive...


No, not naive...just seriously in denial; there is a difference.



BruceCM
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15 Nov 2009, 5:35 am

That's not naive, it's egotistical & egocentric! You'd think he'd have been picked up by now; surely, if enough patients filed complaints about his behaviour, he'd face some sort of action about it?


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TheDoctor82
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15 Nov 2009, 5:38 am

in "lamens terms": he does it because he can, knowing he can



Greentea
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15 Nov 2009, 5:42 am

Oh yes, I had forgotten about denial. Sometimes denial can be as blinding as Aspies' lack of ToM...


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