Should I Seek Diagnosis?

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I feel kind of stupid and nervous asking this when I have been here so long. but I only attempted once to get diagnosed( a year ago), and was told that I cannot be aspergers because people with aspergers dont want friends and only have 1 or 2 special interests during their life. And that was that. Instead he diagnosed OCD and social anxiety. I am in the Uk and from my understanding, it is hard here to get a dx as an adult, as in their view, it cannot be treated so there is no point.

But, I am sure I am on the spectrum somewhere. I have studied it, made lists, analysed myself, read more, asked people who knew me as a child. I keep reaching a point I am sure and feel I must do something about it because I am struggling a lot, but then I second guess myself and think I am just deluding myself, as my parents would surely have done something when I was a child ( in the 70s/80s). Two people who knew me at school and spent time with me quite a bit and who are now in the mental health profession (one of them has an aspie son) showed no surprise when I told them my suspicians on friends reunited, and said they had talked about me a while back and concluded I have aspergers syndrome.

I suppose, I know no one here is qualified to diagnose me and I sure dont expect that. I suppose, I am seeking some idea as to whether it is worth my seeking diagnosis, as I am struggling a lot in life, and seem to just be in stasis at the moment.

Talked very early, and developed extensive vocabulary young.

Talked to adults a lot as a small child, got on better with teachers than my peers.

Had issues sleeping as a baby.

Cried a lot as a baby, stopped once I was no longer confined.

Can remember being told to stand properly as a child, used to stand on sides of my feet.

Had a very good rote memory when young, top of class.

Didn't cry when I fell over. Just stood back up and carried on.

Started collecting things from a young age.

Hated things being moved when my mother cleaned.

Got angry and upset and hid in my room when vaccuum cleaner came near me.

Had trouble throughout school. Didn't obey the rules, parents always having to be called, problems with other children. Was sent for IQ test at 8 because headmaster had suggested I was mentally backward.

Was frequently bullied, used and mocked throughout school

Diagnosed with depression at 12.

Was always being told to 'look at me when Im talking to you' by mother

Was a very clumsy child, often knocking things over, even walked through a plate glass window.

Had few friends, but when I did play games, I am told I was bossy and controlling. It had to be played my way.

Lined up my cuddly toys and ornaments.

Developed anorexia at 13. It became a huge obsession, with constant listing of things, I filled books with lists of foods and calories and weights. It was like any other of my obsessions, only with food.

As a small child was very forward, and would just go up to adults and talk, or sit down at other peoples tables in cafes and was often told to not be so rude when I said things.

Liked to wear the same clothes every day... usually my ghostbusters tracksuit. Was a struggle getting them off me for washing.

Dont like being touched unexpectedly or by strangers. Poking causes a lot of distress and rage. Tickling is painful.

Sensitive to smells. Some smells make me retch and even vomit.

Sensitive to noise. Certain repetitive noises seem to trigger rage and pressure in my head.

Cant deal with anything digging into me, like labels and seams. Causes me anger.

Notice details others dont seem to see at all. But am very bad at seeing a complete picture.

Been told I think in black and white and lack a sense of humour.

Over analyse things, including emotions.

Struggle to be able to put myself into anyone else's shoes. I can only do it by sitting and mentally working it out.

Can't read intention in people. Have frequently ended up in horrible situations with males because I assume they are just friends then they start saying things that indicate they are interested, but even then I am not sure.

If I lose anything, I get into a mad frenzy to the point I hit my head and rage. It seems to just send me nuts.

Have needed music since a small child. It is like it soothes me and helps me deal with the world better.

Talk to myself lots, and have done since small.

Failed in education as the bullying sent me into depression and anorexia.

Left my degree studies early due to panic attacks and retreated into my harry potter obsession.

Have often been accused of only caring about my Doctor Who, Harry Potter, etc.

Unable to offer comfort to others. Something gets stuck inside when someone is crying in front of me and I usually hide or freeze. As a child, I am told when my mother came home from hospital, I said 'Oh, you're back', while my brother greeted her and hugged her.
As a result I am seen as selfish and insensitive.

I can cry and feel for people I read about, but if it is anyone I know or can actually see in person, I cant seem to relate well.

Lifelong love of glittery and sparkly things, especially xmas lights...they seem to give me a calm, relaxed feeling.

Inability to talk unless it is something I know about. I hate being asked how I am, I dont naturally ask how others are, I have to force myself.

Friendship is difficult as I find it hard to keep interest, and get drained by too much talking and social contact.

I swing between obsessions, and aimlessness. When I am obsessed with something, it becomes everything.. like a total escape, and being without it causes me to panic and rage.

I cannot sit across from someone and look in their eyes as it makes me feel odd and uncomfortable. From a distance I can glance at eyes fine.

When I am feeling stressed, crowded in or excited, I flap my arm a bit, play piano songs on my fingers, sing or clench and unclench my fist.

Diagnosed with OCD and social anxiety as an adult.

I have long periods, lasting up to 8 months, where I retreat totally, and interract only on the internet, not in real life

Lifelong love of watching water, especially streams and fountains, and the sea

like to stick to the same routes each day, eat the same foods, follow the same routines. I can adapt if I have to when I visit my mother, but it causes me stress and worry beforehand

Consistently score 46 on Baron Cohen AQ test

Last edited by Graelwyn on 15 Nov 2009, 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would recommend it for the sake of your peace of mind, at least, so you stop second guessing. Find a suitably experienced diagnostician this time.

Since you have been here almost three years and I have been here less than three months, please feel free to completely disregard anything I might say!

I have thought about "seeking diagnosis" in the sense of pursuing an "official" or "professional" one, but that would be difficult for me to do and I doubt it would really change much of anything. My unavoidable struggles in life would still be here even after a few more answers might help in being rid of more of the unnecessary ones, and the mortgage company would still expect a payment every month.

One thing I am presently doing is something you might find helpful: Just do what you already know you *can* do, then carefully consider yourself and your abilities in the light of other things you might *need* to do or that seem to be expected of you ... and when I find myself unable or incapable and I can honestly say I would do it if I could, I just let it go and return to doing what I actually can.

I think that one experience put me off a lot, that and the diagnosis I had when I was 19 of borderline. That has a stigma attached, and the shrink I saw I think, read that diagnosis and didnt even listen to my reasoning, gave me no chance to speak, asked me nothing about my history. It really angered me. I have been debating saving up and seeing someone privately, but the issue is and was, that my parents wont listen. My father is indifferent, and my mother views me as having been normal, because I think she is caught up in this idea that aspergers would have made me slow to develop etc, and unable to interract with others at all.

I am in the Uk, and cannot even seem to locate a private specialist who might have some experience of females on the spectrum.

I know many are advised there is no point to diagnosis unless you are not functioning, and to be honest, I am not functioning. I am existing.

I dont have a mortgage. I am on the uk version of government assistance and have been since I caved in under the pressure when I left my english degree early and couldn't find work. I am living in a terrible environment with a lot of noise that is affecting me badly, and I seem to be becoming increasingly aggressive towards others due to the constant issues I have had with people. If I were working, had some sort of support network and were not becoming increasingly suicidal over my situation, I would just leave it, given my age. (I am 34).

Also, I suppose I do not like the idea that I might be wrong. That I am deluding myself, that I have come to the wrong conclusion etc etc. Some sort of peace of mind.

Also, I tend to get into the thought pattern that I am just lazy, stupid, inept and trying to make excuses etc. That is another thing that has stopped me trying again and seeing someone who has experience of ASDs. This sense that maybe if I just tried a bit harder, made myself get a normal job, made myself mix with people, I might 'snap out of it' and find that I was just socially anxious or something.

It's not surprising that terrible experience put you off. I would go with the private option. Did you specifically enquire about their experience diagnosing females? It is a risk that you might see someone unsuitable, but if you do receive the confirmation you need, it will be worth the risk.

No, I didn't ask but he seemed to be a jack of all trades since he tried to diagnose me bipolar and then changed his mind and said I am not bipolar. I found it a bit ridiculous really. I did tell my gp who referred me to begin with that the shrink he sent me to was an idiot. He didn't seem phased by that and suggested I either get a second opinion I am entitled to or pay to see someone privately. No idea what that costs as my google searches for someone within train distance have proved unfruitful.

It costs a few hundred for a private diagnosis. The National Autistic Society lists many diagnosticians here. You can browse them by area.

You can then email them to find out their experience diagnosing adult females.

If a private assessment is too expensive, then request a second opinion on the NHS. The psych you were referred to was not qualified to diagnose ASDs, so this time be sure to specify you need a clinical psychologist who specialises in ASDs and diagnoses adults.

hello

i just registered, im simon, 29, portsmouth south uk. im going through diagnosis at the moment. i went to adrc in southampton, twice for different tests. i was put through tests for my brain, the way i remembered things like details in pictures, orders of numbers and letters. i then spoke to a pyshcococlfoloist. that was the s*** part, he asked me a bunch of the usual. i told him i wanted to quit, full stop. i tryed it before but got really sick and vomited it all up. i think the next time i will buy some cheap vodka and take that as well.
i am waiting for their response. they will give me a report on their findings and opinions. my dad came with me as they need a person who knew me for most of my life, mostly for the early years of my life. i saw two people but there are three in the team.
i just want out of this really. the diagnosis was a way of placing myself. i could say "yes, there is something wrong with me, and this is it!". but now im a little anxious about the response i may get from them. i cant find any other solution to this problem i have had all my life.
i have seen a number of specialists over the years. i started reporting my problems when i was 17. going to the doctor has been a routine now. recently i found that i may have aspergers. i told my doctor about it and about adrc and she wrote a letter to the primary care trust. three months later i was given an appointment there. last time i saw them was three or four weeks ago.
most of my life is going to work and coming home again. i dont want any of this at all. im now trying to get the guts to top myself. i dont want to upset my family. i have been at home all my life, there was a short period where i was away from my family for about three months. that was strange. it gave me the idea of what the rest of my life will be like. i am constantly making plans to do somthing severly wrong. i do vandalise things that belong to peope that harm me. work is a nightmare. so much that does me in. the flourescnet lights. the noise, the smells the fact that everything is cramped in. i am an electrical trainee, training to be an electrician. i was lucky to get the job, i have been in and out of jobs all my working life. this one i think sucks the most. i go through alot of bullying and some recently sexual harrasment. its all supposed to be a joke but i cant take it that way. i dont like being touched especially felt up. im not gay, i look very young and i think that is one reason why people give me so much crap. i dont feel capable of defending myself, i feel that people find it easy to squash me. i feel controlled all the time. i dont get on with people and i cant lose this job. my sister wants me out of the house and my mum is really going off the rails. she will take any opportunity to become histerical. my life is f***ed up. i have done the self harm bit, drugs drink. i dont want anything, i dont like anything. i dont want to last to see 30 which is next march.
if you want a diagnosis, not that it will really help, go to your gp with any information that you have on aspergers. find the closest clinic and talk to them about waiting list times. adrc are new, they are apart of the southampton university. their on the net. tell your doctor about the closest place to you. ask the doctor to write to the primary care trust on your behalf. it will take a while. dont put up with some idiot pyshcologist. i had one who just came out of uni, i think he was 22 or 23. he had no clue at all. i was really pissed off with the way he treated me. i complained to my doctor. i didnt find it hard getting a diagnosis. i havent had the report yet. i dont think i care either way. it wont help with work. it depends where you work. the disability discriminaiton act says that an employer must make any adjustments for you. i think thats crap. i dont think my employer would do a damn thing. there are reasons why things are done a certain way, and we cant change those. get used to getting bent over, it happens alot!! !.
i have a few interests but im so depressed an without energy that the thought of doing somthing makes me shake. i get so anxious at work, a result of bullying, that i end up injuring myself. ill be trying to strip cables with a knife and ill end up cutting myself because i cant hold still. i have burnt myself with a heat gun because of the shakes. i sweat a hell of a lot. i cant think straight. the guy who bullies me the most is a popular person. he gets away with alot of stuff like this. there is a "no disaplinary procedure" attitude at work. i hate it. i only work four days, longer days but the week shoots past. if i keep my head down i can survive ok. theres always someone wanting to cause trouble. its the worst ive had so far. i think that in total ive had about 40-45 jobs since i was 18.

a cheap bottle of vodka is £7
i have some seroxat and fluoxetine.
i dont think that aspergers is a good thing at all! and im not proud to have it!

Asperger's Syndrome is clear like light for me, you just need to find a real specialist. Also it's comic, because in DSMV they proposed to remove Asperger, make a single spectrum and actually: Autistic Spectrum Disorder = OCD + Social Anxienty.

Interesting. I am in Southampton myself, I live here. I was aware there was some research going on at the uni, but did not realise they dealt with diagnoses. I will talk to my gp about it. My hardest thing will be the parents, as both are so fed up of my years and years of issues that they don't really want to know.

It is clear as light to me a lot of the time, but at times like recently, when I am floundering for a focus, I doubt it. I suppose I tend to assume if I have aspergers, I will constantly have an obsessive interest on the go, and be involved with it daily. I was obsessed with second life for 8 months until recently. It was all I did. Now I am sort of back here and floundering.

I will see my doctor and try and get a proper appointment instead of the usual drop in one.

However many Aspie traits you have, it doesn't make sense to seek diagnosis unless you are experiencing some problems in your life that you cannot solve on your own.

Conversely, even if you had only weak Aspie traits, it would still make sense to seek diagnosis if you were experiencing some real problems. While in that case it mightn't actually be Asperger's (or mightn't be mainly Asperger's), the fact that you're experiencing distress should prompt you to seek help.

sounds like ptsd.

PTSD only explains some of my issues and not many at that, imo.
It does not explain the early issues I had. I have already considered PTSD, it does not explain a large chunk of it.

RAD?