How many didn't really care about getting a bf/gf 'til 18+?

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ElysianDream
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30 Nov 2009, 4:57 am

You know when I was a kid, I had a vague idea about dating, and somehow assumed I would be doing it when I got to 15 because everyone else did. Of course I didn't even know what AS or autism was (I had some vague idea when I was 11 that it involved having a retarded IQ and rocking back and forth all day).

As I got older, because of my shyness and social isolation it became glaringly obvious this would not be the case. I remember being 14 and the psychologist asking if I had a girlfriend. Even then I felt weird saying I did not. The years seemed to pass quickly, and I didn't even come anywhere CLOSE to having a girlfriend. I don't blame the girls. One girl who I had a thing for did try to be friendly with me, but for the life of me I was simply too shy to give myself ANY hope. Now put in that situation thing's would be different, but back then I was much shyer.

As I got older this only worsened...I'm 23 and in the exact same position I was in when I was 13. Been on a few dates but I felt a million miles away from even making a move. I care more now than when I was in my teens, partly because of a longing for romance :P and the social stigma.



Shebakoby
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30 Nov 2009, 2:37 pm

count me in that group. Hell, I didn't even really care in my 20's. I'd call it a combination of I was positive I'd never get along with a guy, let alone well enough for a relationship; and antidepressants totally nerfing my libido back then.



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30 Nov 2009, 3:41 pm

ElysianDream wrote:
I guess I'm like that. While I do want a gf I (maybe selfishly) don't want to lose any of my independence or feel someone is clinging onto to me.


I'm absolutely like that too. Maybe once I've been in a few relationships I will grow into accepting or even liking the idea that I'm "stuck" with someone but for now I hate it.



beingme
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02 Dec 2009, 8:48 pm

i'm 22 and still don't really care about bfs. i do feel attracted to certain guys but the emotions are wayyy too confusing even just at the 'oooh he's so hot' stage. i've had two bfs when i was 15 and 20, so i figured i'd time the next one for 25 :)



ttqs84
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04 Dec 2009, 8:54 pm

i didn't think having a boyfriend in my teen years was such a good idea because i wasn't ready for it. two boys tried to take advantage of me when i was 14/15, but i wouldn't let them.
i had my first boyfriend at 21. he made me feel like a real person (which is a totally different story). but it lasted for a month because we had different paths to take. he said that we could be friends, but as we were chatting online one day he kinda shut me out. boys are idiots and they become bigger idiots as men.



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04 Dec 2009, 9:50 pm

ttqs84 wrote:
i didn't think having a boyfriend in my teen years was such a good idea because i wasn't ready for it. two boys tried to take advantage of me when i was 14/15, but i wouldn't let them.
i had my first boyfriend at 21. he made me feel like a real person (which is a totally different story). but it lasted for a month because we had different paths to take. he said that we could be friends, but as we were chatting online one day he kinda shut me out. boys are idiots and they become bigger idiots as men.


so very true



SierraBell
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05 Dec 2009, 3:05 am

I hated and terrified of the whole male gender when I was 13-15. It took me awhile to get over my online "relationship" and just getting over a lot of other things. I started liking and getting into boys when I was 16. Then I had one at that time. Then I broke up with that same person when I was 17, now I really just love everyone.... :lol: :?



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05 Dec 2009, 3:21 am

Yeah. The reverse for me actually. In college I'm finding more important things to focus on than the idea of a boyfriend.
I don't want my future lifestyle to be dependent on someone else's income. Self-sufficiency is good - I don't like to rely on others.

I don't think I'll ever actively seek a boyfriend - at least not until I'm out of school. And as I plan to go to grad school, that will be quite a while from now. If I meet someone in school, I don't think I want to get married until one of us has a stable job so that we can afford life-expenses and/or the rest of whatever grads school courses we have left to take. :lol:

I hope to eventually meet someone that has similar intests and priorities as I do. School is probably gonna be a prime place to do this since my classes require me to study my interests a lot.

Though I say I'm not' looking,' I did recently meet a very attractive Pre-med student who happens to not be very good with people. I thought he was just rude at first, but I talked to him yesterday and he is actually very friendly. And intelligent, which is often an issue for me. I really don't like talking down to people. I feel like it cheats us both out of the benefits of intelligent discourse. But yeah. I'm hoping I get to see more of him. (:
And he seems to like me too? I hope I'm reading that right... :oops:

But I do more than just dwell on him - there are plenty of things more important to me in life than meeting my someone special ASAP. Like I said, I believe that being self-sufficient is a key part of my future happiness and I've strted to realize that in recent years and get over the whole, "why don't I have a boyfriend? Is something wrong with me?" thing. There's nothing wrong with being picky because I feel that I am worth more than to go tossing myself at people that I hardly care for. I don't want to get into a relationship that I don't want in the first place - I don't want to get into a relationship for the sake of an idea.

... Though we were the only two kids out of 300 or so that got a 100 on the last bio exam! (: So that's kind of awesome. :oops:



TheDuck
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05 Dec 2009, 9:15 pm

I didn't care until 17-18. I have started caring a little less again lately.I really hope I will be able to go back to not caring at all because I know I won't happen any time soon. (if it does)



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08 Dec 2009, 10:19 am

0_equals_true wrote:
I was basically clueless until after then. I did have opportunities before but I didn't really understand relationships.

In a way I miss my naivety.


Didn't really understand the whole thing until around 21. Then it hit in a sudden unexpected moment of realization.

The whole idea still stresses me out to no end. Before then I was naive about everything and entered into things innocently. Now its like I need to consciously juggle the two acts of being attracted to someone and acting like i'm not attracted to them at the same time. Totally conflicting emotions. Emotions are difficult enough to process.

This realization kind of rocked my world in all areas. The whole idea that there could be more than one thing going and that not everything was literally or as it seems. It thrust me into a dark ages of sorts which I am currently seeking an enlightenment from.

It feels like I'm 15 years behind the pack. Everyone else sorted this out when they hit pubery. Now its like I've hit puberty twice.


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Last edited by nansnick on 08 Dec 2009, 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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08 Dec 2009, 12:06 pm

SoulcakeDuck wrote:
I never thought about getting a girlfriend.
I had the "pleasure" of getting a girlfriend last year, and dumped her not long ago.
Now I'm back to not caring again.

Was more of an experiment for me, sounds a bit cruel I know.


Hope you harvested "her benefits" first.



ttqs84
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08 Dec 2009, 2:23 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
SoulcakeDuck wrote:
I never thought about getting a girlfriend.
I had the "pleasure" of getting a girlfriend last year, and dumped her not long ago.
Now I'm back to not caring again.

Was more of an experiment for me, sounds a bit cruel I know.


Hope you harvested "her benefits" first.


:roll: men.



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09 Dec 2009, 5:39 am

Me! I was like a kid until then really, except way more intellectually advanced, obviously.


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biostructure
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09 Dec 2009, 2:44 pm

nansnick wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
Before then I was naive about everything and entered into things innocently. Now its like I need to consciously juggle the two acts of being attracted to someone and acting like i'm not attracted to them at the same time. Totally conflicting emotions. Emotions are difficult enough to process.


Why do you think typical people feel the need to show/have these conflicting emotions? It's never made any sense to me.



nansnick
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09 Dec 2009, 3:34 pm

<<DELETED>>


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Last edited by nansnick on 09 Dec 2009, 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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09 Dec 2009, 6:58 pm

I'm 35+ and I still don't care.


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