Is it normal for people to be bias about their partners?
28 Nov 2009, 6:01 am
Spokane_Girl wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
what do you like about your husband Spokane girl?
I wonder if the intensity of feeling between you and your husband is not quite even?
Perhaps you are just more objective and less swayed by feelings?
Did you feel the same in other relationships?
I certainly think my boyfriend is much hotter than Johnny Depp, when I go about town with him, I pity all the poor other females who do not have someone as fantastic as him. I even often feel guilty that I should have someone so sexy and lovely.
I wonder if the intensity of feeling between you and your husband is not quite even?
Perhaps you are just more objective and less swayed by feelings?
Did you feel the same in other relationships?
I certainly think my boyfriend is much hotter than Johnny Depp, when I go about town with him, I pity all the poor other females who do not have someone as fantastic as him. I even often feel guilty that I should have someone so sexy and lovely.
I love how he accepts me and works around my problems. I love how he isn't needy and clingy. I love how he knows I do care and knows I show it by cleaning and taking him grocery shopping. I love how he knows I do have empathy, even if I don't show it well. I love how he sees everything positive about me. If you asked him what's it like being with an aspie, he wouldn't be able to answer because he doesn't know. It's like asking someone what's like being with their wife or husband. He just sees me as me, not the label. He doesn't lump my behavior into a condition. He rarely does. He sees me as Beth. He says I'm normal for being me. Even my first ex saw AS as a different way of thinking but never even bothered looking it up. His excuse was it wouldn't be about me. There is no book or page that talks about me. But my husband took the effort to read some about it. His friend showed him her report on autism she wrote and read Pretending to Be Normal. What's funny was, Beth also read that book in the movie Adam to understand the condition more.
I wasn't bias about my ex's either if that's what you meant by your last question. I didn't see them as hot or handsome. They were both fat. I never thought they were ugly. Ugly and unattractive are two different things. Not being handsome doesn't equal ugly. There are hardly ugly people in the world. There are just lot of average looking people. It took me a while to realize my husband is handsome. When I first met him, he was average looking but my parents thought he was handsome. But he isn't that hot. It's his personality I liked and him being understanding and accepting me.
Its sounds like you love him very much and hold him in high regard, I think the difference in his and your attitude to partner bias, probably just stems from different personalities. Some people are more romantic and flamboyant in how they feel things (more passionate) where as others are more pragmatic and practical and down to earth.
Do you lust after your husband? It could be that you love him but are not full of lust for him?
Sometimes but not often. I only do it for the babies and to make him happy. He is fine with once a month. In fact I owe him it when my period ends but I'm always unmotivated to do it. I get so stuck in my routines and computer I don't want to stop. I am not that interested in sex and don't see it as something important in my life. But I heard lot of women have low sex drives and lot of them have it anyway to make their men happy. Men have higher sex drives because in mother nature, males mate with the female to make babies. It's wired in their brains and the female are supposed to get knocked up and let the men screw them. Now as humans, we make decisions about rather we want it or not but the sex drive is still there, the desire to have it.
I expect then that the difference is largely lust/sex drive. I think sex drive and lust is hormonal and not under are control. I have quite a high sex drive so it probably makes me lust after and fancy my boyfriend lots.
I found my sex drive went up when I was pregnant and it will be interesting for you to see how the changes in hormones effect your sex drive.
28 Nov 2009, 8:07 am
lotusblossom wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
what do you like about your husband Spokane girl?
I wonder if the intensity of feeling between you and your husband is not quite even?
Perhaps you are just more objective and less swayed by feelings?
Did you feel the same in other relationships?
I certainly think my boyfriend is much hotter than Johnny Depp, when I go about town with him, I pity all the poor other females who do not have someone as fantastic as him. I even often feel guilty that I should have someone so sexy and lovely.
I wonder if the intensity of feeling between you and your husband is not quite even?
Perhaps you are just more objective and less swayed by feelings?
Did you feel the same in other relationships?
I certainly think my boyfriend is much hotter than Johnny Depp, when I go about town with him, I pity all the poor other females who do not have someone as fantastic as him. I even often feel guilty that I should have someone so sexy and lovely.
I love how he accepts me and works around my problems. I love how he isn't needy and clingy. I love how he knows I do care and knows I show it by cleaning and taking him grocery shopping. I love how he knows I do have empathy, even if I don't show it well. I love how he sees everything positive about me. If you asked him what's it like being with an aspie, he wouldn't be able to answer because he doesn't know. It's like asking someone what's like being with their wife or husband. He just sees me as me, not the label. He doesn't lump my behavior into a condition. He rarely does. He sees me as Beth. He says I'm normal for being me. Even my first ex saw AS as a different way of thinking but never even bothered looking it up. His excuse was it wouldn't be about me. There is no book or page that talks about me. But my husband took the effort to read some about it. His friend showed him her report on autism she wrote and read Pretending to Be Normal. What's funny was, Beth also read that book in the movie Adam to understand the condition more.
I wasn't bias about my ex's either if that's what you meant by your last question. I didn't see them as hot or handsome. They were both fat. I never thought they were ugly. Ugly and unattractive are two different things. Not being handsome doesn't equal ugly. There are hardly ugly people in the world. There are just lot of average looking people. It took me a while to realize my husband is handsome. When I first met him, he was average looking but my parents thought he was handsome. But he isn't that hot. It's his personality I liked and him being understanding and accepting me.
Its sounds like you love him very much and hold him in high regard, I think the difference in his and your attitude to partner bias, probably just stems from different personalities. Some people are more romantic and flamboyant in how they feel things (more passionate) where as others are more pragmatic and practical and down to earth.
Do you lust after your husband? It could be that you love him but are not full of lust for him?
Sometimes but not often. I only do it for the babies and to make him happy. He is fine with once a month. In fact I owe him it when my period ends but I'm always unmotivated to do it. I get so stuck in my routines and computer I don't want to stop. I am not that interested in sex and don't see it as something important in my life. But I heard lot of women have low sex drives and lot of them have it anyway to make their men happy. Men have higher sex drives because in mother nature, males mate with the female to make babies. It's wired in their brains and the female are supposed to get knocked up and let the men screw them. Now as humans, we make decisions about rather we want it or not but the sex drive is still there, the desire to have it.
I expect then that the difference is largely lust/sex drive. I think sex drive and lust is hormonal and not under are control. I have quite a high sex drive so it probably makes me lust after and fancy my boyfriend lots.
I found my sex drive went up when I was pregnant and it will be interesting for you to see how the changes in hormones effect your sex drive.
You have kids?
I was pregnant and I had no desire for sex. Before, I was just making myself have it because I wanted kids. Then I stopped when I got what I wanted. But now we have to start doing it again starting next month but I might hold back again. My period's been heavy for the first time and it came a week late. Now it's light.
Yeah I have had desire for sex when I first meet men but I held back knowing it be a dumb thing to do. But I didn't feel this way for all men, I did for my ex's though and for my husband when we first met. But then it goes away once I get what I want and once is enough. I never had it with my ex though. I wanted to take it slow. Then we split up before I even did it. I took it slow with my husband too. It was also to make sure he wanted me for me. I didn't want to be stupid and make the same mistake again. Sometimes I will get the desire to have it but when it comes, I am probably ovulating. That's when it usually happens. But it doesn't kill me if I don't have it or depress me.
Trying to have kids is what motivates me to have it, even if I don't feel like it.
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