Ten Things I Don't Get About NTs, Please Explain

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Regarding #2, I'm from Northern VA but I tell people I'm from DC. It's a common thing from where I'm from - if you tell people you're from Virginia they get the wrong idea and think of southern or western VA. So we say we're from DC.

Because alot of 'NT's' connect in a very shallow, superficial way, or are simply too personal/emotion about the whole thing. They're not used to waiting for meaningful things like alot of AS people are, and I think sometimes they lack the patience with people.

Of course I'm sure this also happens in the autistic community to some extent.

I know these have mostly been answered, but as someone who considers himself high-functioning AS, I'll give it a try. Hope my response helps.

1. As others have said, you probably have a native MN accent. There's no use getting angry if people ask, just smile and say "I live a few miles from the border of MN."

2. Mentioning the name of a more well-known town or city will give people a better spatial idea of where you're from, in the map they're projecting in their mind. Know what I mean? Not everyone knows where Brighton is, but most know where Denver is. I'm an offender - I lived in a tiny, 1800 person town that no one's heard of, and when people ask where I'm from, I give them the name of a larger city half an hour away.

3. Rounding the time makes it easier to use such expressions as "five to..," "quarter after..," half past...," etc, all of which take less effort and to say and process than the actual time. For example, if it's 11:22 and someone asks for the time, I'll always reply "20 after 11." In addition, no one wants to be seen as so uppity that they require the exact time - if an NT asks someone with AS the time, and the person with AS replies "it's 2:43 and 17 seconds," it may come off as disrespectful or mocking to the NT.

4. What they mean is that needy guys are a turnoff. Desperate guys are a turnoff. Guys who always talk about how they can't get girls are a turnoff. Each of those examples shows insecurities. A lady wants to know that a guy has it under control, and can brush off rejection and try again. Contrary to popular belief, very few ladies like "nice guys."

5. This simply means that you need to have confidence in yourself before you can inspire confidence from a woman. No confidence equals insecurity. See #4.

6. You're talking about apples and oranges here. Sure, bullying can be traumatic, but it's not at all on the same level as willingly taking another's life. In addition, bullying is something that occurs outside of teacher's vantage points, while a school shooting is impossible to keep under wraps as such. Please explain further what you mean by action and reaction in this context.

7. Certain fanaticisms are acceptable because they're shared by a relatively large percentage of NTs. Sports, music, and cars come to mind. Note that when an NT has a non-mainstream interest, such as making bottled ships, he or she tends not to advertise it. If you don't let your fanaticisms take over your life, they won't be so much as discussed, much less judged. As someone mentioned, the more people interested in it, the more acceptable it is. NTs have a certain pack mentality when it comes to fanaticisms - they want to seek out others who are interested in the same thing in order to feel like a part of a group. Have you ever seen a lone tailgater? Me neither.

8. Don't ask what "it" is. The NT expected you to react in a certain socially acceptable way to whatever situation was presented - you did not, so the NT is already upset with you, and this is propagated by your prodding. In the context, "it" is merely a transitory term, and the phrase "you don't get it" is another way of rhetorically asking "why are you so different?" Just like us, NTs get upset when they encounter someone different than themselves. It's best not to ask for explanations - simply analyze your mistake and learn from it, so you know how to react in the future in such a way that will please an NT.

9. When you sit down at a pool, what's the first thing you take off, whether or not you intend to go swimming? Right, your socks and shoes. In addition, it's an old cultural custom - if you're barefoot, you're ready to swim; if you're not, you're half-assing it or were pushed into the lake. Also, NTs realize that wet clothes aren't all that bad, but wet socks and shoes are terribly uncomfortable. Next time you go swimming, do it barefoot and you'll see what I mean.

10. The concept of "cool" is such a deep concept I won't go into it. Some consider cool to be what the market and media push, some consider it to be what the market and media don't push. As a music nerd myself, all I can say is to listen to what you want to listen to.


You seem to take everything very, very literally - and it's ok, that's what folks with AS do. One thing that helped me to get rid of that habit was realizing that 90% of everything an NT says or does has a hidden connotation to it. Don't take everything you see or hear at face value, always replay it in your mind, looking for that implicit meaning.

Hi Kevin,

I am going to answer q 7 Why do people shout for their team when they are on TV? This is called mass hysteria. When someone grows up in a family where there are fans of a particular sports club they spoon feed the child with all that is connected with the team. They go out to see games and watch their team on TV. And so the child copies the parent.

All people have the tendency to belong, you too otherwise you wouldn't be part of this site.

I've read all the answers, and I understand about 80% of them. I still don't understand women, but I can find a way around that.

With regard to my first question, I asked my mom if I had an accent, and she replied with "Who told you that?" I asked my dad, and he said people from Minnesota, northeastern South Dakota, and eastern North Dakota have a North Midlands accent, but my dad said he doesn't know what we sound like to everybody else, and neither do I. I wonder why no one ever told me this before. I'm always the last to know everything, even things about myself.

My dad had a long talk with me this week. He told me that my brother, who criticizes everything I do, isn't as normal as I believe, and that I shouldn't even listen to him. That's easier said than done, because I take everything personally. I don't know how not to. I might not see much more of my brother, because my dad kicked him out of the house last week and he told him to either get a job or go to college.

I'm 22 and live in my own house, but my brother is 28, lives with my mom, my dad, and my 16 year old sister, and he doesn't have a job. He also walks around their house in his high school football jersey and his boxer shorts. I really don't know why I get so upset at anything this person says, but I do. It seems like I always have the lower hand.