Informing people that I have Asperger's Syndrome

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I am going to be moving out on my own and will be living in a condo complex. I will not have any roommates but I have 9 neighbors living in my building and I would some how like to inform them, as we live close together. It also seems if I try to hide having my AS that I tend to freak other people out.

How do I tell people about having Asperger's Syndrome with out saying spontaneously in a conversation?

A medical alert bracelet is one good way. As much as I HATE the puzzle logo, it combined with a medical alert pendant will most likely get the message across.

Put a sign on your door saying you have it.

Well, its not really good to just divulge information immediately. A good idea is to mention certain aspects of your dx (ie, if the invitation of clubs comes up, and you have sensory issues/panic attacks, mention it but not the reason why). Skirt around it for a few months until you KNOW you are comfortable with those around you . . . and pray you dont have any rumors/misconceptions spreads afterwords. This is just advise, it is ultimately up to you in the end.

ASPERGER"S LIVES HERE topic

In big, bold letters.

I suppose it all depends on how you want your neighbors to treat you. Do you want AS to be the main thing they know about you? Do you want them to treat you as "special"?

I would advise starting with a "need to know" policy. Tell people what they need to know, but no more. Address specific issues as they come up, but don't go into any great detail as to why they are issues - it's just the way you feel & they should respect that.

Otherwise, just be friendly & let them see you as a person.

That depends. How obvious are your Asperger traits?What situations are your neighbors most likely to run afoul of them? While I was in the university staying in dorms, I found that most people only wanted as much information applied to their lives--and I find that it holds true in many other places as well. Depending on how you answer these questions, there a couple of options:

1.)Fully disclose

If your traits are more obvious, it may be beneficial to go to people in power (i.e landlord) and identify potential trouble spots before they happen. One of the benefits of this is that to any reasonably nice person, it quickly positions you as the reasonable negotiating tenant rather than the trouble maker. They have more information to help you and are more likely to do so --because after all, you are helping them.

2.)Not fully disclose

If your traits are not so obvious, you may not need to disclose your precise diagnosis. For example, at one point I told one of my neighbors I had a perceptual disability (didn't say Aspergers) that made it hard for me to judge how loud my music was sometimes--and would she help me test which settings on my stereo she could hear from her room. As she was one of the people who frequently reported noise complaints to the hall director, she was more than happy to help me help her.Some of the benefits of this strategy are not having to fully disclose and it lays the groundwork for making allys.

In either case,obvious Asperger traits or no, positioning yourself as the reasonable negotiator is invaluable.It weds a common spectrum strength(logical problem solving) to the social world (playing nice in the sandbox).If there are people in building that see you providing solutions for living together, they should be more likely to give you a break--even give you a hand. Less irritating neighbors are rare--let alone good neighbors.

Hope this helps

DRB

Last edited by Dark_Red_Beloved on 02 Dec 2009, 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The last time I lived on my own, I did not even tell my roommates and I thought it was fine. However, they knew that there were problems because I talk to myself. (Thinking out load). They also noticed that I didn't pick up on things as easily as they did, growing up.

I have to say that I think that the hinting at my problems without mentioning the word, "Asperger's Syndrome."

I also live in a condo complex and so there is no landlord and and a president of the homeowner's association. I also do not have any roommates in this situation.

"Coming out", for lack of a better expression, is always difficult for anyone to do...for reasons obvious and not so obvious. We must make it clear to everyone that we are ordinary people who just happen to perceive things very differently. Those behavioral differences that others tend to notice are just a part of who we are. People tend to fear what they don't understand.

Let there be peace in our time.

Last edited by RoadWarrior7 on 05 Dec 2009, 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I was out grocery shopping the other week, and I noticed another woman talking to herself, as in talking her way through things, and I thought..hmm it's actually quite a normal thing to do.

How does an Aspie guy disclose his condition to a potential date without scaring her off?

I don't think a potential date needs to know, RoadWarrior7.

I would wait and see if things progress past the first date, then refer back to what Zeichner has said.