Can someone have these traits and NOT be on the spectrum?

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My venue is an art and music space. We have an art gallery and local and touring bands play here all the time...When we first opened, I used to freak out and have meltdowns/panic attacks on a regular basis from all the noise and stress, but i have gotten used to it over the years.
My partner has issues, and he sorta "collects" people who have mental issues to be his friends...that is partially why he pursued me...
His best friend/music partner for years has been our bi-polar schizoaffective friend..who has some autistic traits.

I cannot say that I have a complete and utter lack of social reciprocation, but it is a lot more difficult for me than for most of the people around me. There are people who have been coming around for years who I simply cannot talk to without it causing me a lot of stress. There are some acquaintances who I am more comfortable with than others, but I have only been able to bond with a few people. I am not like some people who will meet someone and automatically be their bestest huggy friend...
I can be social if I have a specific thing to talk about..Last night I was chatting up the band Unwed Sailor...but only because I was screen printing some shirts for them and they were fascinated and watching me do it...I never reached a point where I knew any of their names, or could really tell any of them apart, for that matter....But screen printing is something that I can talk about and i can easily explain my entire process from beginning to end to anyone willing to listen.

Despite stuff like this I still have had people say.."I don't think you're autistic..I think you have something else"...(nonspecific)..
Then again...um...I guess...what do they know?

I really should relax about it.

i have had a mixed bag of responses..upon telling people.

One woman laughed in my face and gave me a lecture on how I should not feel the need to label myself with something that I don't have. She herself was a "managed" schizophrenic and kept going on and on about her schizophrenia...and she claimed to have worked with a mental health advocacy group in San Francisco and said that she had worked with aspies and that I wasn't an aspie...and I didn't tell her I was one...I said that I had been relating to and finding support on forums that had to do with asperger's and the autistic spectrum...(i brought it up because she had been going on and on about her schizophrenia)

I have had a couple of people not be surprised...I am not sure why I told one acquaintance in particular....but he said he'd suspected something, and he had a close friend who had Asperger's

Recently a female acquaintance (the girlfriend of the proprietor of another eclectic venue, who is herself, very eccentric...bluntly asked me if I was kind of autistic....explaining that she had worked with autistic children and noticed my complete lack of eye contact....and also I was out in public and sorta "acting up" a little bit because I was tired...so my symptoms seemed more pronounced.

Sometimes I will be very vague about it..If compelled for whatever reason to explain my odd behavior, will not say anything about the autistic spectrum, I simply say that I have "issues"...and nobody bats an eye about that one.

Me too Poopy, I have told one lady about having AS and ADHD she
seemed to imply it was a label, and that it was all in my head, then she
went on about taking homeopathic medicine cure me, it surprises me at
how much misinformation is out there on ASD, they are always make
assumptions we our issues are minor and fixable

I think i mentioned this before.
We have VERY similiar backgrounds.
I ran sound for several years, booked for venues, and well have done pretty much nearly everything you stated. I had problems with the loud music/too many people too at times.

Nothing you stated is unusual for somebody who is involved with music and has an ASD.