My feelings toward Autism/AS, love & life

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Amajanshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 626

05 Jan 2010, 6:11 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Hey, if that works for you, fine. I've grown tired of trying to make all impressive and nice with the NTs on their terms. Most of the time, the situation does seem entirely superficial, and pre-judged. And to quote Billy Joel from Anthony's Song "good luck movin' up cause I'm movin' out". I have no desire any longer to play these games when my brain doesn't even function that way. One of the main reasons is that I've learned no matter how much I tried being "normal"...it was never good enough. Reason is I'm Autistic, and what I'm capable of will never be good enough for them....and I've come to realize it doesn't even matter.

I believe in the epitome of efficiency, and am considered the top of the line at what I do. I own my own business, have a girlfriend I'm madly in love with, have a few friends who I chat with( time pending), have a day job where the bosses love me and desperately need me, and am more than happy to chat with a few folks at work here and there.

I ain't doin' anything wrong, so why try to be something I'm not?

I'd rather just work on being the best me I can possibly be :)


Oh I've decided this year that I'm going to spend more time studying and on my special interests than hanging around people at Uni trying to fit in. I know that I'll never be like the NTs and most of the people who have observed my apparently "abnormal" behaviour have already deemed me as weird and rejected me, so I don't waste my time talking to them.

However I thought it wouldn't be too troublesome to be "NT Polite" when talking to staff, coz you'll rarely if ever see them again. I can imagine that having to act like an "NT" with co-workers each time you meet them would be extremely tiresome and stressful.

In one of the books by Temple Grandin, she was saying that most ASD people have to be successful in their industry by being very skilled in whatever they do, so it compensates for their poorer social/"NT acting" skills. I'm guessing you're one of those people right?

Do your skills in your industry (toy I believe) enable you to skip Small-talk entirely with your boss and coworkers?

And can you please elaborate on these NT games which you mentioned?

I'm still "inexperienced", but what I've experienced so far includes many people lying and not saying what they mean, or not meaning what they say, and rampant gossipping.



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,410
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

05 Jan 2010, 6:31 am

Amajanshi wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
Hey, if that works for you, fine. I've grown tired of trying to make all impressive and nice with the NTs on their terms. Most of the time, the situation does seem entirely superficial, and pre-judged. And to quote Billy Joel from Anthony's Song "good luck movin' up cause I'm movin' out". I have no desire any longer to play these games when my brain doesn't even function that way. One of the main reasons is that I've learned no matter how much I tried being "normal"...it was never good enough. Reason is I'm Autistic, and what I'm capable of will never be good enough for them....and I've come to realize it doesn't even matter.

I believe in the epitome of efficiency, and am considered the top of the line at what I do. I own my own business, have a girlfriend I'm madly in love with, have a few friends who I chat with( time pending), have a day job where the bosses love me and desperately need me, and am more than happy to chat with a few folks at work here and there.

I ain't doin' anything wrong, so why try to be something I'm not?

I'd rather just work on being the best me I can possibly be :)


Oh I've decided this year that I'm going to spend more time studying and on my special interests than hanging around people at Uni trying to fit in. I know that I'll never be like the NTs and most of the people who have observed my apparently "abnormal" behaviour have already deemed me as weird and rejected me, so I don't waste my time talking to them.

However I thought it wouldn't be too troublesome to be "NT Polite" when talking to staff, coz you'll rarely if ever see them again. I can imagine that having to act like an "NT" with co-workers each time you meet them would be extremely tiresome and stressful.

In one of the books by Temple Grandin, she was saying that most ASD people have to be successful in their industry by being very skilled in whatever they do, so it compensates for their poorer social/"NT acting" skills. I'm guessing you're one of those people right?

Do your skills in your industry (toy I believe) enable you to skip Small-talk entirely with your boss and coworkers?

And can you please elaborate on these NT games which you mentioned?

I'm still "inexperienced", but what I've experienced so far includes many people lying and not saying what they mean, or not meaning what they say, and rampant gossipping.


well, I don't work in a toy store, except the one I own. I do small talk with my bosses at my day job--don't get me wrong--but do I think they're really taking in most of what I have to say? If you do, then you haven't paid attention to a single thing I've been saying up to now :)

As for my own store, though, as even my partner says, I seem to have a natural knack for understanding the world of business. So, combine that with my undying love of toys, and my high interest in economics...y'see where I'm going with this?

Yes, I'd definitely say I'm one of the people you mention. Another thing you can do, rather than being unhappy about what you aren't good at is by using what you are good at to study people and how they think...and the likely outcomes of the choices they'll make, and what they'll do.

It's the reason a few inspirations in my life--aside from Ronald Reagan, Uncle Scrooge, and Rocky Balboa--are Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Jigsaw: they can get into yer head, and they know exactly what you're going to do, because they know how peoples' minds work.

One of the best things you can do is read those 48 Laws of Power. I know I keep mentioning it, but seriously...read it, and using the skills you've been given being born Autistic, see how it seems to fit so much into your life with the people you know, anything you'll hear thru the grapevine, or other people you read about. It will utterly fascinate you, but so much will make a thousand times more sense.

Yeah, lying and gossiping...that's pretty common in social circles, dude. What it accomplishes is tons of drama...which people seem to feed off like a huge line at KFC. It's petty, and of very weak mindedness...but so are most people, and it's part of a reason they have a "follow the crowd" mentality.

Now, if you want, I'll do you one even better: if you're interested, I'll PM you with my philosophical outlook on life.

I did post it once here on the forum before, but either no one got it, or they didn't believe me...and that was unfortunate since I was sharing it with them as they'd come to help me figure it out in the first place.

But if you'd be interested in it, I'd be more than happy to share it with you. And once again....read the 48 Laws of Power. I'm not kidding about this.....so much will make sense once you read it. I'm not saying to follow them, but knowing that everyone else pretty much does, you'll know what they'll do, and you'll know how you can use it to your advantage. :)



Amajanshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 626

05 Jan 2010, 6:50 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
well, I don't work in a toy store, except the one I own. I do small talk with my bosses at my day job--don't get me wrong--but do I think they're really taking in most of what I have to say? If you do, then you haven't paid attention to a single thing I've been saying up to now :)

As for my own store, though, as even my partner says, I seem to have a natural knack for understanding the world of business. So, combine that with my undying love of toys, and my high interest in economics...y'see where I'm going with this?

Yes, I'd definitely say I'm one of the people you mention. Another thing you can do, rather than being unhappy about what you aren't good at is by using what you are good at to study people and how they think...and the likely outcomes of the choices they'll make, and what they'll do.

It's the reason a few inspirations in my life--aside from Ronald Reagan, Uncle Scrooge, and Rocky Balboa--are Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Jigsaw: they can get into yer head, and they know exactly what you're going to do, because they know how peoples' minds work.

One of the best things you can do is read those 48 Laws of Power. I know I keep mentioning it, but seriously...read it, and using the skills you've been given being born Autistic, see how it seems to fit so much into your life with the people you know, anything you'll hear thru the grapevine, or other people you read about. It will utterly fascinate you, but so much will make a thousand times more sense.

Yeah, lying and gossiping...that's pretty common in social circles, dude. What it accomplishes is tons of drama...which people seem to feed off like a huge line at KFC. It's petty, and of very weak mindedness...but so are most people, and it's part of a reason they have a "follow the crowd" mentality.

Now, if you want, I'll do you one even better: if you're interested, I'll PM you with my philosophical outlook on life.

I did post it once here on the forum before, but either no one got it, or they didn't believe me...and that was unfortunate since I was sharing it with them as they'd come to help me figure it out in the first place.

But if you'd be interested in it, I'd be more than happy to share it with you. And once again....read the 48 Laws of Power. I'm not kidding about this.....so much will make sense once you read it. I'm not saying to follow them, but knowing that everyone else pretty much does, you'll know what they'll do, and you'll know how you can use it to your advantage. :)


Ahhh, so it appears that the reason why people gossip is coz they're weak minded?
My idea was that people gossip about others because they don't have anything intellectual to talk about. A Sociology article on gossip strategies in the Big Brother TV show displayed the findings that gossip was used to establish rapport between the 2 people engaging in the gossip at the expense of the person being gossiped about.

Also there was that quote "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about events, small people talk about other people."

I already downloaded the 48 Laws of Power but I haven't finished reading it.
I was worried that following the 48 Laws of Power would make me jeopardize my normal personality which is "try to be nice to everyone until they treat you badly", but this book seems to take it a lot further in terms of Machiavellian tactics.

You said, and I agree that trying to be NT will never work and that we'll never be like them. But isn't trying to follow the 48 Laws of Power gonna be difficult as well coz it's different from our original nature?

And YES, I'd love to receive a PM of your philosophy please!! ! I crave wisdom from people older than me.

Thank you ~~~ :D



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,410
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

05 Jan 2010, 7:44 am

Amajanshi wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
well, I don't work in a toy store, except the one I own. I do small talk with my bosses at my day job--don't get me wrong--but do I think they're really taking in most of what I have to say? If you do, then you haven't paid attention to a single thing I've been saying up to now :)

As for my own store, though, as even my partner says, I seem to have a natural knack for understanding the world of business. So, combine that with my undying love of toys, and my high interest in economics...y'see where I'm going with this?

Yes, I'd definitely say I'm one of the people you mention. Another thing you can do, rather than being unhappy about what you aren't good at is by using what you are good at to study people and how they think...and the likely outcomes of the choices they'll make, and what they'll do.

It's the reason a few inspirations in my life--aside from Ronald Reagan, Uncle Scrooge, and Rocky Balboa--are Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Jigsaw: they can get into yer head, and they know exactly what you're going to do, because they know how peoples' minds work.

One of the best things you can do is read those 48 Laws of Power. I know I keep mentioning it, but seriously...read it, and using the skills you've been given being born Autistic, see how it seems to fit so much into your life with the people you know, anything you'll hear thru the grapevine, or other people you read about. It will utterly fascinate you, but so much will make a thousand times more sense.

Yeah, lying and gossiping...that's pretty common in social circles, dude. What it accomplishes is tons of drama...which people seem to feed off like a huge line at KFC. It's petty, and of very weak mindedness...but so are most people, and it's part of a reason they have a "follow the crowd" mentality.

Now, if you want, I'll do you one even better: if you're interested, I'll PM you with my philosophical outlook on life.

I did post it once here on the forum before, but either no one got it, or they didn't believe me...and that was unfortunate since I was sharing it with them as they'd come to help me figure it out in the first place.

But if you'd be interested in it, I'd be more than happy to share it with you. And once again....read the 48 Laws of Power. I'm not kidding about this.....so much will make sense once you read it. I'm not saying to follow them, but knowing that everyone else pretty much does, you'll know what they'll do, and you'll know how you can use it to your advantage. :)


Ahhh, so it appears that the reason why people gossip is coz they're weak minded?
My idea was that people gossip about others because they don't have anything intellectual to talk about. A Sociology article on gossip strategies in the Big Brother TV show displayed the findings that gossip was used to establish rapport between the 2 people engaging in the gossip at the expense of the person being gossiped about.

Also there was that quote "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about events, small people talk about other people."

I already downloaded the 48 Laws of Power but I haven't finished reading it.
I was worried that following the 48 Laws of Power would make me jeopardize my normal personality which is "try to be nice to everyone until they treat you badly", but this book seems to take it a lot further in terms of Machiavellian tactics.

You said, and I agree that trying to be NT will never work and that we'll never be like them. But isn't trying to follow the 48 Laws of Power gonna be difficult as well coz it's different from our original nature?

And YES, I'd love to receive a PM of your philosophy please!! ! I crave wisdom from people older than me.

Thank you ~~~ :D


Ah, but I never said to follow the 48 Laws of Power, good sir!

I said learn them, and you'll start noticing that everyone else follows them.

From that, you'll know what they're going to do, and you can use that knowledge to your advantage not only in the interactions you do have, but many future interactions, as well as in bettering your own life.

Once you read the 48 Laws, you'll know what people respond to, and how they think.

Lemme give you one major, major tip:

Remember those PSAs that always used to air on Saturday morning cartoons?

They were pretty much utter crap--and I don't mean the quality. I mean the very people who wrote them, and wrote the morals for them--not to mention the majority of folks watching them--didn't believe in a single drop of what was being said. The entire point was to look good to everybody else.

The majority don't follow the good lessons taught to them in such pieces; they follow the 48 Laws of Power; it's not intentional, it's just--I suppose--neurotypical human nature to do so.

Learn them, and you'll know what people do. You can use that knowledge, again, to your advantage.

Can I tell you every single way you can use it? No, because I don't know you personally and I don't know what your special interests are or anything like that. But you will know.



Fiz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,929
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

05 Jan 2010, 8:00 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Fiz wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
Trust me..the older you get, the less you may really want friends. Most people are massive wastes of space, and the only thing keeping them going is BS drama, & their need to feel important.


This is so true, but rejection still hurts. I think so long as you come to expect it, then it impacts less. Besides, why would you want to friends with or attract these types of people anyway? It is when I think someone is nice or even fantastic only to be proven wrong that really upsets me, this has happened recently. I'm 27 years old now and still can't overcome that.


So am I, and I've dealt with it too. It's one of the reasons I'm voluntarily closing my social circle a little bit, and have no regrets about it whatsoever. I just don't have the time for any of this sh*t anymore.


Yeah I'm thinking of doing the same, I feel that if I carry on trying to understand all the crap that comes with socialising with so-called normal people, I will end up damaging my mental state even further, and what's the point of doing that for people who I am now coming to understand are not worth it?

TheDoctor82 wrote:
I've grown tired of trying to make all impressive and nice with the NTs on their terms. Most of the time, the situation does seem entirely superficial, and pre-judged. And to quote Billy Joel from Anthony's Song "good luck movin' up cause I'm movin' out". I have no desire any longer to play these games when my brain doesn't even function that way. One of the main reasons is that I've learned no matter how much I tried being "normal"...it was never good enough. Reason is I'm Autistic, and what I'm capable of will never be good enough for them....and I've come to realize it doesn't even matter.


I am slowly coming to the realisation of this. You try really hard, harder than so-called normal people, to make friends and socialise, yet whatever you do isn't good enough. I have felt, particularly recently, that all my hard work at trying to be friends with people is all for nothing as I am easily discarded like an empty pack of sweets. Relegated to the bottom of the social hierarchy once again. I need it not to matter to me anymore, that way I won't bother trying, mind over matter as they say. Once I reach that point, I think happiness may come my way, that's what's spurring me on.



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,410
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

05 Jan 2010, 8:06 am

Happiness can come for you regardless, my dear.

Just do what you love to do, and become successful at it. All you have to do is know how they think, and what they'll do, and use that knowledge to your advantage.

You're Autistic, so if you're like me, you can organize your knowledge even better,and really let it work for you.

You'll shine brighter than 24K gold on a cloud-free day :)