Anybody here in the spectrum,raising a child in the spectrum

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No-one had to tell me I was differnt.I already knew.I remember in the first grade my teacher being extremly concernd.She was a seasond teacher,she taught many,many students.Infact,this was her last year teaching;she had reached retirement age.I was a quite child,very well behaved,smart.The first grade was difficult for me.Too many activities,loud,bossy,impaqtient people.It was in first grade that I would have my very first evaluation.My teacher told mother I was moody and un-predictable.I stared for long periods of time.Mother told the doctor that my teacher was worried because I daydreamed too much,Actually,her words were more like..."in her own little world".My teacher noticed I had a difficult time socializing with other children.For some reasons I would have fits of rage,for no apparent reason.The good doctor assured mother that I was fine,just mature for my age and that I was just bored of first grade.In the second grade I moved in with grandparents.I liked thier house.It was quiet.

We didn't figure out that I had AS until after the birth of our daughter, who is more classically autistic. I think it has indeed given me an "edge" in understanding her, and in knowing when to give in on a point (because she just can't help herself) and when to stand firm despite the tantrums (because sometimes she's just milking it, you know?).

I have AS my three year old son was diagnosed as PDD-NOS at the age of two. They could only rule out AS for him at that time due to his language delay.

My 8 year son has AS, and my 13 year old son shows the traits of having AS, though he does not want diagnosed at this time. I, the father, have AS, and my wife is NT.

Interesting to note is the statistic that shows that around 50% of we AS people had some compliction or issue during either the pre-natal or actual birth process. Often times this is an oxygen issue. I was born by C-section after getting tangled up in the cord---I had oxygen deprivation. My 8 year old son had oxygen issues when he was born, and like me, was placed in an incubator. I do believe in the genetics behind autism, but I also believe in triggers that can turn those genes on. And sometimes, they just turn on anyway.

I am. I have Asperger's (recently diagnosed). My 10 yo son is also Aspie. My husband is NT.

My grandma had 6children,4boys,2girls.I was born to the 3rd boy.My dad is a Marine,my mom is mentally ill.My older sister was born extremly hyper,I was born lifeless..early,1972.I was a strange child,played in closets,played alone.I liked being left alone.Grandma had two books in the house..the Bible and Emily Post.I learned right from wrong because grandma was a Sunday school teacher for 26years.She worked at the local school as the cook.I went to school every day for fours knowing the day ahead of me.Grandma planned everything,she chose my clothes and lunch was the same everyday for me.We ate lunch at dinner and I brought my same lunch.Grandma laid my clothes out the night before,I woke up at 6:30,ate cornflakes,got dressed,kissed grandpa bye,waited for the bus.In the four years I lived with them,it never occured to me to say no;or to choose for myself.I had the same schedule and expectations,nothing ever changed.We had Sunday dinners,holidays.family over,but no strangers or un-invited guests.Grandma liked herc stories(soap-opera's).She taught me to be still and try to figureout what the people on her shows were really thinking,doing and feelinf.Let me tell you,soap-opera people are the most emotional people on the planet!Here is an oddity:my son has the deepest bluest eyes you ever seen.I have brown so does father and both older sisters.I noticed children in the spectrum have big eyes and the recssine gene of color.Also,my son lacked oxigen at birth as did I.My pregnancy with my son was full of sickness and stress.I was clean.older and in college when he was born.My daughter was born 10 years earlier,meth addicted mom;who was homeless,lived in poverty with abuse and she is the baby who grew to into a beautiful highschool girl.She is in Track,band,takes one collegge course each semester and does not appear to have any residue left over from my lack of parenting.Anybody else have any idea's how this happened?

About a year after our son was diagnosed with autism at the age of three, while going through parenting workshops, it became apparent to my husband and I that we were very much on the spectrum. By then, our daughter too was diagnosed (she's five years older than her brother). It won't surprise you to hear that both our fathers were in engineering as well as one of my paternal great grandfathers. Both of our father's too seem very much "on the spectrum." Our mothers and grand mothers were also remarkable people.

As for raising kids, well, with our son it was nightmarish for a long time. He would scream, have tantrums, bite, and so forth. When he was three, he could manage a two word sentence in the third person and no more. If you asked him a question, he would have a melt down.

We were incredibly lucky. I am a teacher and there was a boy at my school who had an amazing intervention program that was completely done through play. Our little guy's echolalia of "I want to be a real boy" came true. One day, I realized, he was coming out of himself - he was able to express himself and function as a "real boy." (I do not mean a neurotypical boy which was never my goal, but a child who was able to leave put his internal self aside at will to participate in life with the rest)

At 11, he still has the occasional melt down and puts himself down whenever something goes wrong, but he is VERY verbal, has a sophisticated vocabulary, and writes stories (using a scribe who has difficulty keeping up) that are far above his grade level. He occasionally goes back to his younger obsession with early humans, but (thankfully for my feet) no longer makes stone tools like he did when he was between the ages of six and eight.

When he was little, our son was in my lap 24-7. I couldn't sit down without him needing to be with me. It was really draining. I asked my husband once if he felt this behaviour was healthy, and he replied that as we wanted our son to grow up to be a loving boy, we should give him all the love he wanted and needed.

At about age 6, my lap began to get a break. We tried having dogs a couple of years after that, but I couldn't take their neediness after all those years. Even now, it is sometimes hard to be as present as my son wants me to be - I really love my alone thinking time, focussing on my own obsessions - but I try hard to give the physical love and time when our son needs it and ask for help from my husband and parents when it is too much.

Our sixteen year old daugher is completely different. She didn't even like to be held as a baby - I had to sit her up, facing me, to nurse - very awkward - she hated that curled up position most babies love. Elementary school was really tough for her - especially as she wasn't diagnosed until age 10. She is a born artist and scientist and has found friends and the support she needs in high school. She is very proud of her autism. I hope one day our son will be as well.

I think what has made us successful as autistic parents of autistic children is our love and understanding of each other, our unconditional support for our children's differences and willingness to advocate for them in school, the support of my family, and the intervention program I mentioned earlier. I would never have been able to stomach ABA for our son - I knew that as soon as I read about it - and while I know it has worked for many, it is just a choice we couldn't have made. The play based program gave our son the skills he needed to grow into himself and adjust to the world.

My last piece of advice is this: it gets better. Autism is a developmental delay of sorts which means that we have our whole lives to grow up at our own pace, keeping those aspects of childhood that we appreciate (such as imagination and creative problem solving) alive for as long as we wish.