Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

markun
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 87

11 Dec 2009, 5:38 am

It's my sister's 28th birthday party tomorrow night and I have been invited. All her friends are very loud and confident (I'm not) and it's on the other side of London, it would take me over and hour to get there which is stressful in itself.

She knows I find things like this very difficult and we have talked about it a bit in the past but never actually mentioned aspergers (I don't have an official diagnosis). A couple of years ago she had a house warming party and I got really overwhelmed and kind of broke down and she said she really appreciated me trying but knew how difficult it was for me.

I really don't want to go tomorrow, i have been worrying about it for weeks and don't really know what to say. Should I say something today, that I know I probably won't make it? Or do I leave it until tomorrow night and send a text saying I don't feel well?

Also I don't know if I should mention to her or my dad that I think I have aspergers. i don't know how to approach it. I only ever spoke to one other person about it and that was my line manager. She was very dismisive and said people with ASDs don't have self-awareness so I can't have it. (she clearly knows nothing despite being a trainee psychotherapist). I realised that I might have aspergers after reading 'Born on a Blue Day' and 80% of it could have been my life story.

Anyway, if anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.



robinhood
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 289
Location: UK

11 Dec 2009, 6:54 am

When I first brought it up with my mother she kind of resisted it for a while, although she always knew there was something going on with me since I was kid. I think it helps if you are clear about it in your own head, and that you can explain why it is you think you have it. The more sure of yourself that you are in putting it across, I think the easier it will be for them to digest it.

Shame about your line manager. I had a similar situation when I told my boss.... his wife, who is a teacher, and who knows me a little, immediately dismissed it out of hand. "I've seen kids with Asperger, and you aren't like that", etc. etc. I'm actually training to be a psychotherapist myself, so I can tell you first-hand that students aren't really taught anything much about ASDs.

It's often the case that you have to be prepared to educate people in order for them to understand. So it's good to have your research done! :lol: I often find myself needing to explain Asperger to GPs and other health professionals, let alone ordinary Joe on the street.

If I have a hard time getting someone to accept it now, I just tell them that I spent 5 years of my adolescence writing out train timetables. They normally shut up after that :lol:



MudandStars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 608
Location: Australia

11 Dec 2009, 7:55 am

If you decide to go maybe you could take your music player with you and listen to it in a quiet (well as quiet as possible) place if you get overwhelmed?


_________________
-M&S


?Two men looked through prison bars; one saw mud and the other stars.? Frederick Langbridge


markun
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 87

11 Dec 2009, 8:55 am

I don't think I can go to be honest. I've done that before though, at two weddings last summer I spent half the time hiding in the toilet.



FaithHopeCheese
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 534
Location: I think I'm lost

11 Dec 2009, 12:00 pm

markun wrote:
I don't think I can go to be honest. I've done that before though, at two weddings last summer I spent half the time hiding in the toilet.


If you don't want to go, then don't bother. It sounds like she will understand and there's always next year if you want to try again, or you could ask her if she wants to spend some time with you by herself.

I recently showed my parents the list of female Asperger's traits and they were very receptive. You might just show it to your family and see what they think.


_________________
Get me out of here!