Do your work colleagues hate you?

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This is a really, really sore point for me.

My first job was being a university professor. I got rave reviews from the students and even praise from the department chair for my teaching. I trained my teaching assistants well and ran a well-oiled teaching team. I showed an active interest in the development of the department and everyone else's research. My own research project fit in well with the department focus and promised to bring in funding and graduate students. All was looking rosy.

Until the department head told me one day that my contract would not be renewed. Apparently, I was doing some things completely out of sync with everyone else and creating problems for a lot of other profs, and this colleague had warned me over and over again and I never got it. Demonstrated that I could not handle teamwork.

I was shocked. I totally did not see that coming. I don't remember anyone telling me that I was doing something wrong. Of course, it's entirely possible that they hinted at it in some very subtle way that completely eluded my Aspie mind. Or that I had violated some unspoken rules of department politics without knowing. Or stepped on that colleague's toes in some way without realizing.

I quit academia.

My next (and current) job is as a counsellor working at an educational organization (talk about career misfits for an Aspie, hah!). I was very proud of my personal development and the work that I did--I built great rapport with the students and the parents, I was able to provide non-judgmental support for the kids, I successfully worked on some difficult, emotionally-demanding cases. I got on well with most of my colleagues; people would stop by and chat with me at my office, and I often get invited to social events. I made sure I ask about the rules and followed them, and obey the hierarchy. I thought I had scored one against Aspergers.

Until my boss came back from an extended trip and told me that, after consulting with my immediate supervisor, she was disappointed in my behaviour and performance. Apparently I was socially immature, had anger issues, and couldn't function as part of a team. Again, I had no recollection of anyone telling me about those things or expressing those concerns about me.

----

I give up. Perhaps I just "lucked out" having two out of two in messed up workplaces, or perhaps there's just no win against AS. I feel completely demoralized because I worked so hard to compensate for my Aspieness socially, worked so hard to be empathizing and non-judgmental, worked so hard to fit in at work and work around different working styles. I thought I had found work that fits my calling. But all I get is a big "FAIL" stamped on my work record.

Perhaps I'll go get a diploma of sorts and work as a behind-the-scenes systems operator or something more "suitable" for people like me.

*is bitter and goes binges on chocolate*