Why I don't understand some aspies... (A Pseudo-Rant)

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emc2
Sea Gull
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11 Dec 2009, 6:16 pm

I recently worked out I sit more on the borderline between having AS and having traits so I can relate.

A couple of men from around the local area here (with AS), just seem to constantly come out with insults to either the person they are with, or others, and it is just easier not to be around people like that. I know they don't realise some or all of what they are saying.

At the end of the day we all have to look after our own wellbeing, so people who find that they don't like others emotions won't surround themselves with people who do and the reverse is true. If you are more emotional, than those friends, maybe it's time to meet some other people as well, to balance your life out.



M_p_furo
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11 Dec 2009, 6:35 pm

Quote:
She went so far to say that she was a "waste of oxygen". Being a very empathic person and realizing that she needed a bit of support, I told her in honesty that she was a great person and that she was fun to be around. Her response: "But you're never around me, Anneurysm"


I may be wrong, but perhaps she was being literal. You said she was fun to be around, and she wondered how you could know this if you were not around her. Maybe she thought that you didn't really know her that well.

Also, when you are depressed, you tend to be hyper-focused on the depression and not realize your social skills are lacking.

An important part of social skills is being understanding to the person and not think solely from your point of view. There are many different "spins" to the situation.



anneurysm
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11 Dec 2009, 6:59 pm

Willard wrote:
anneurysm wrote:
One of the things that tends to set me apart from other aspies is that I have a good "social compass"...meaning that I have a good judgement of what to say and what not to say to others.

Just yesterday, an aspie aquaintance of mine was feeling discouraged about herself and decided to post her feelings as a facebook status. She went so far to say that she was a "waste of oxygen". Being a very empathic person and realizing that she needed a bit of support, I told her in honesty that she was a great person and that she was fun to be around. Her response: "But you're never around me, Anneurysm".

I'm very in touch with my intuition and emotions. The question is: how can I better understand and deal with people who don't speak that language? And how should I react if I am unintentionally offended?



::Ahem:::


What's wrong with this picture?



Perhaps what I meant to say was that MOST of the time I know what and what not to say. However, in these types of situations, I become utterly boggled.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


anneurysm
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17 Dec 2009, 7:26 pm

Thank you everyone for the responses! The suggestions about potential depression and perhaps her taking the situation literally make a lot of sense...perhaps I should give her some space and allow her to talk when she's ready.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).