You have all the words but cant say them?

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Mouldy
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12 Dec 2009, 7:02 pm

Hey aspie freinds out there! Ive just been wondering really if any of you have ever been in or know that your going to be in a certain situation where you have to carefully plan what you are going to say and when you finally have to say it you cant like the way you planned the conversation to go didnt happen and now you are unpreparedand look like a complete plonker ( lol i luv that word :P ) for not knowing what to say? :)

Answer if you have ever been in this dilema ( or even if you havnt i dont care JUST SOMEONE TALK TO ME!! ! xD )


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devey
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12 Dec 2009, 7:15 pm

Yes, I get caught out easily by unexpected comments and questions in converstaions and I usually can't think of an adequte response so the converstaion usually ends there. I usually worry about saying something inappropriate or emabarrasing so every response has to be carefully filtered in my head beforehand. This means I rarely give spontaneous lighthearted responses so I come across as too boring or serious. Its probably my biggest barrier to communication. Even everything I just wrote looks too stilted and formal for me.



Eto
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14 Dec 2009, 2:37 pm

Augh, all the time. :/ It never happens like I want it to. Like once I was looking into something that I knew my mom would misconstrue as being something bad, so I'd spend free time formulating a speech on how to explain it to her in case she ever found out. But when she found out I froze up and completely didn't help my cause at all. It was horrible.

I also do the try-planning-out-conversations-in-my-head thing, and that's not successful either. Sigh.


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14 Dec 2009, 3:56 pm

I hate it



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14 Dec 2009, 7:10 pm

Ah yes, it happens all too often. It's what I like to call speech constapation, I have what I want to say in my head then suddenly I'm in the conversation and it all drifts off somewhere and my mouth disconnects with my head and I go quiet, and the more quiet I am the more awkward I feel. It's very easily mistaken with shyness but it's not, since I enjoy (some) people's company and hate being alone for too long.
It happened in art last Friday, we had to evaluate eachother's work and give constructive criticism to our partner, that was exruciating and awkward since I had froze and it was impossible to tell her what I thought without having to force every word, and with alot of "uh"s and "erms".


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Natmega749
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14 Dec 2009, 9:22 pm

Mouldy wrote:
Hey aspie freinds out there! Ive just been wondering really if any of you have ever been in or know that your going to be in a certain situation where you have to carefully plan what you are going to say and when you finally have to say it you cant like the way you planned the conversation to go didnt happen and now you are unpreparedand look like a complete plonker ( lol i luv that word :P ) for not knowing what to say? :)


Love that word "plonker" as well, pronkel is the synonymous anagram of it both of which I'd heard whilst watching The Bill, huge fan of their early series where both were virtual staples in the show. :D

I can identify with going to someone with a difficult matter and taking the role of the script writer, problem is they never say the lines you "gave" them; been that way often with my dad, especially when I've announced I'll do something not in accordance with his convictions and beliefs.



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14 Dec 2009, 9:40 pm

The best way I can explain my problem is that my mind has random dialogues going on most of the time, it is difficult for me to focus on the internal dialogue I would like to use when it comes to speak aloud. I stand there searching for the appropriate words and look like a prat. :roll:


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14 Dec 2009, 11:53 pm

devey wrote:
Yes, I get caught out easily by unexpected comments and questions in converstaions and I usually can't think of an adequte response so the converstaion usually ends there. I usually worry about saying something inappropriate or emabarrasing so every response has to be carefully filtered in my head beforehand. This means I rarely give spontaneous lighthearted responses so I come across as too boring or serious. Its probably my biggest barrier to communication.


Ahhh, I'm the same! I plan out a whole conversation in advance to make sure it goes right, and then the slightest deviation knocks it all down and I'm left trying to tread water for the rest of the conversation.



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15 Dec 2009, 1:37 am

I have a terrible time getting words out, I know they are there in my head but its like my brain is disconnected from my mouth



Oisin
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15 Dec 2009, 8:32 am

The problem is when you practice what to say at home, the other person doesn't have the script so doesn't know what he is suppose to say to begin with. They start off with a totally different question you expected and there you go, what are you going go to answer now? The only way to avoid this is to say what you have practiced before they have the change to say something, but that doesn't always work either.

Plonker, I like that word too. "You're a right plonker."



Mouldy
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15 Dec 2009, 3:22 pm

Thanks for all replys :) i mostly plan out my coverations before going to sleep in bed and then when the time come just one minor hiccup in what i exspected to happen makes me angry and makes me feel frustrated....And feel like a plonker xD anyways i guess when it DOES go as planned its great because you can really get across the points you want to make and have already predicted their response and know what they will say before the words even left their mouth ( considering that "is" what you predicted them to say ) :P thanks all keep posting if you like it fun to see how many others are in the same boat as me. ;)


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15 Dec 2009, 9:58 pm

Mouldy wrote:
Thanks for all replys :) i mostly plan out my coverations before going to sleep in bed and then when the time come just one minor hiccup in what i exspected to happen makes me angry and makes me feel frustrated....And feel like a plonker xD anyways i guess when it DOES go as planned its great because you can really get across the points you want to make and have already predicted their response and know what they will say before the words even left their mouth ( considering that "is" what you predicted them to say ) :P thanks all keep posting if you like it fun to see how many others are in the same boat as me. ;)


I have to say, I love your avatar. It's perfect!

And yes, when my 'speeches' do go as planned, I come across as quite enthusiastic and articulate. When they don't, I end up mumbling and with long pauses as I try to think of how to express myself. So it's very dichotomistic.



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16 Dec 2009, 10:56 am

Quote:
Thanks for all replys Smile i mostly plan out my coverations before going to sleep in bed and then when the time come just one minor hiccup in what i exspected to happen makes me angry and makes me feel frustrated....And feel like a plonker xD anyways i guess when it DOES go as planned its great because you can really get across the points you want to make and have already predicted their response and know what they will say before the words even left their mouth ( considering that "is" what you predicted them to say ) Razz thanks all keep posting if you like it fun to see how many others are in the same boat as me. Wink


Its great when my mind can recall what it is I would like to convey about something. It takes a great deal of effort to think through a conversation before hand though, really dissect all the variable and be able to call up an appropriate response when called upon.


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20 Dec 2009, 2:03 am

Yeah and it's ruining everything!! ! Instead of saying something, i'll end up saying "oh,really,yes,no,probably,maybe,dunno,ah,haha,lol,ok"


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DNForrest
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20 Dec 2009, 6:55 am

My favorite word in the English language: Lethologica. It's when you can remember the meaning of a word, but not the word itself. This happens to me all the friggin' time, and it can annoy the hell out of me (though it does provide for some entertaining moments when I use some other obscure word to make up for the one I'm forgetting).