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How Far Have We Fallen

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TheCynicalSun
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17 Dec 2009, 2:14 pm

HopeGrows wrote:
Yeah, OP....I don't know...maybe the search for a significant other is part of some greater developmental process. It could be neediness, I suppose...could be determination? I guess it all depends on the seeker's motivation, and the sacrifices the person is willing to make.

There is something about meeting someone special that can cause you to look at your life from a whole different perspective....and that makes everything seem new and interesting and possible. Like there are still great adventures to be had. It can be kind of intoxicating - maybe people are just looking for that feeling?


I guess I don't quite understand that. Couldn't the person you meet that is special not bee from you searching so hard?

I mean yes, I understand you want to meet that special person. But why be so needy about it?



Hector
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18 Dec 2009, 8:36 am

The following account as far as I can tell is really quite a typical one.

When I was sixteen it suddenly occurred to me that I would not live forever and I immediately changed my mind about having children - I wanted to have people to raise and pass on my views and teachings for after I have died, more than anything else. I guess I see it as a natural consequence of the survival instinct - just like I want to survive in the short-term future, I want to eventually have successors. The most legitimate and effective way for me to do this is to meet someone who I am attracted to who also wants children.

Since I was about fourteen I've had a more primal desire to have intimate relationships with women. I came to the conclusion that promiscuity is not sensible, so my attitude was that I should restrict my prospects to people who I could imagine myself dating. This desire and attitude has, for the most part, not really changed since then.

If I remain single my entire life then neither of these will be satisfied and I foresee severe emotional problems later in life, as are common to middle-aged single men, hindering my progress in other areas of life such as my career.