Would you pay for a social coach?

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Even though it says that part of the point of that site is to help people with autism spectrum disorders (among other things) I think it's written for "shy, awkward" people of the primarily neurotypical variety. It looks to me like a lot of the same "go out there and meet people!" or "start a conversation with someone" type advice that just isn't all that useful.
I used to think I probably had a personality disorder, and so I approached it from that angle for a long time-- trying to let go of insecurities, be friendly, start conversations.. yadda yadda yadda. It all backfired because, unlike the avoidant person whose social problem is that they THINK they're socially inept, I am socially inept, so no amount of confidence is going to make me succeed socially, and no amount of trying to be friendly and starting conversations is going to win me friends, because I just don't get that stuff. There's a lot on that site about moderation, but there's no real way to know what moderate is if you can't tell. I have no clue how to show the "correct" amount of interest in someone so that I can express that I like them without seeming like a stalker. Expressing the right amount that they know that I think there interest but that I'm not hitting on them? It's not something I'm going to be able to figure out. I might get it right occasionally, but to get it right consistently enough that I'm able to maintain anything? Yea, right. I'm not going to succeed socially with anybody who isn't as socially inept as I am.

> I have often had the idea that if I had a partner, she would be able to play this mentoring role for me. Of course, if I had the social skills to get a girlfriend, I wouldn't need the mentoring in the first place.

I can see your point, if getting a gf is the purpose of social skills. For you, that may be the top priority right now.

Despite being in my 40s, however, and having found my even more aspie than me husband on the net, I still have mysterious issues that cause serious problems. By my age, and with the kinds of responsibilities I've had and the kinds of things I take on at times, more is expected socially than from someone young or someone who works in a relatively menial job. It is very helpful to have someone who can give meaningful feedback, even if he is not supremely socially savvy himself. He does a little better than me in the social world, and so I take advantage of his advice.

I've pretty much figured that stuff on my own, from the age of 10. I've learned that I was making a lot of mistakes and I've corrected them. Stuff like going on about my special interests and staying on topic.

I would not pay for a random person to be my social coach. Since there is no certification process necessarily, it means that any average Joe can be one. However, if I find someone who has an ICF certification and/or has training to be an allied health professional before, then I will be more than inclined to pay their price (as long as it is not over $125 per hour).

Meanwhile, maybe because of my professional background, I won't pay for anyone that says they have a specific program that targets this area. I say that because each of us are unique. So, our needs are also unique. Therefore, I believe that a good coach should be able to customize a program that will fit the needs of each person, rather than a one-size-fit-all hat. After all, I believe a good coach should be client and family centered (if family is involved).

No. Paying a social coach sounds like a scam to me. If you are an quiet introvert with Autism/Aspergers, you are never ever going to become a more outgoing extrovert.

Never heard of it before

If I had cash , might pay

If that particular one was worth the price

Haven't heard of a social coach. I probably wouldn't pay for one don't think they have them here in New Zealand.

Not to get too much into semantics, the term 'social-coach' (and the notions of paying for a social coach) tend to bring negative connotations- that is someone with a formal title of 'social-coach' seems like someone who is not sufficiently experienced with High Functioning Autism (HFA), hence such a coach might become too demanding (in short, an unsuccessful approach).

Again, not to get into semantics too much, the (LINK) to a discussion thread on 'platonic versions of matchmakers' (just over 20 posts as of this writing) advocates more or less informal (even original, out-of-the-box) approaches to develop, and maintain friendships.

After all, HFAs in successful friendships most often happen by chance and accident - this is not good enough! Yet, having formal 'social coaches' in the loop may be the worst of all!

LINK: viewtopic.php?t=381925

If the social coach had a well trained, medical background, kind of like a councillor or therapist I would pay for that. But I wouldn't nessissarry want them to join me on social outings. That would be weird. Like an old fashioned chaperone.

But I would gladly learn more about interacting with other humans.

I've done the best I could through watching movies and reading books. And if that could be supplimented with knowledge from a trained professional, with knowledge of ASD. I think it would be worth it.

But if it was like a "life coach" where they take some random online course then claim to be able to help you. Then I think that is total bull poop.