Anger towards childhood caretakers and educators
When I allowed an older adult to read my developmental history, he was shocked about how my mother seemed mostly oblivious to what I had experienced growing up and her neglect. She did make nasty comments in my teens and early twenties that indicated she knew all was not well: "Go see a doctor!", "When I was your age I had a husband, job, and house", and worse. But when I did finally seek help from doctors, she was reluctant to provide developmental information and claimed nothing was wrong with me. This later contributed to trouble obtaining adult ASD services.
Ravenclawgurl
Veteran
Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,274
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
no because they did there best asperger's syndrome was such a new diagnosis when i was in school that nobody probally even thought about it at all in terms of me . they diagnosed me as ADHD instead i just wish that they adressed some of my executive functioning issues and give me some services like resourse room or Occupational therapy ( but who would think of resourse room for a girl maintaining good/average grades in a top class)
oh and i eish that in sixth grade when they were re evaluating me i wish the lady was more professional and didnt stop with half the test (IQ) because I was doing so good and it showed i was "soo smart"
Well I wish I was diagnosed earlier... My mom always knew there was something different with me as I wouldn't socialize like the other kids did. However I was a good student and had no behaviour problems so I guess that calmed down my parents and prevented them from looking further for help. I have this vivid images of myself playing alone at school (don't remember which grade). I remember the school staff reaching for me to talk to me. But I guess they should have reported to my parents that sometimes I played alone! Also my parents when realized that I spent most of my time alone should have taken me to a child psychologist! They eventually did when I was 14, but I dind't like him as he would complain about all my traits like lack of emotion expression!
Oh, my mom does that too. She tells me about how when I was little I would never talk and scream and cry all the time and would never let her hug me. She always asks me, "why did you hate me?".
I wish they had accepted me as I was and let me be me. They did this for a while, but later they tried to cram whatever my sister did down my throat and make me more like her. It never worked.
They didn't understand why I was the way I was, they thought they could put me down, punish me, take away my interests and activities and substitute them with others, and that would make me be "normal," but it never worked. They still resent me for the fact I was "different."
I just wanted to be allowed to be me.
_________________
PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!"
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