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CockneyRebel
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01 Mar 2006, 11:02 pm

or has it made me a better person?

Before I've started that Adult Special Education Job Preperation course, I was the Hippiest of Flower Children. I've felt that Love, Art and Music were the only hopes for my Future. I didn't see myself working at any type of Job. I was thinking that nobody would want to hire me, because I had a slight Learning Disability under the North American Description of what a Learning Disability is. It didn't matter. It meant that I was blessed with more opportunities to wear Bell Bottoms, Sandals, Tie-Dyed T-Shirts and Peace Sign Necklaces. I was passive and docile. I was enthrawled with the American Flag. I didn't go to the Malls. There was no reason for me to buy frivilous material things, unless they could be played on a Turn-Table, and they were released durring the Hippie Days. I've spent all of my Free Time in my Bedroom, listening to the Oldies Station, working on some strange Art.

As a result of the two years that I've spent in College, and the escape that I've made, eleven years ago, I've became obsessively proud of my Cockney Accent, I've been obsessed with everything that has to do with London, England. I've been obsessed with Routemasters, since class started up after my first Work Experience, back in November, 1993. I drink Decaffinated Tea, every waking hour of the day. I give off a very Austin Powers(ish) appearance, that I'm proud of. London is the hope of my Future. I've also been obsessed with Hackney Carriages (Black London Taxis) for as long as I was obsessed with Routemasters. I'm also more vigilant about the world around me. I feel compelled to get out of the house very often, and I take every opportunity to do so. I even allow myself to splurge on stuff associated with London, which helps motivate me to be wise with the rest of my Pension Money.

Did College make me, or break me?



CockneyRebel
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02 Mar 2006, 5:44 pm

I think I have the answer to my Question. There might have been a few Jerks who've just happened to be going through that Programme, at the same time that I was. The things that they've did to me, didn't break me. My Professors didn't break me, either. It was the news about the London Couple who were shot in either California or Florida, back in the September of 1993 that made me change my tune. I've decided that I was going to honour the British, because I'm of British Anccestry, and I have a cute London Accent. I've had no Spirit, as a Flower Child. My Spirit had started growing, once I've allowed myself to become obsessed with London, and the things that made her London, from 1954 to 2005. That's why I call my Spirit, The Cockney Sprirt. College made me, because I was fortunate to hear a News story that had motivated me to clean up my Act, that I wouldn't have heard, if I was living the Hippie Life, instead of waking up at 6:30 and taking any College Course. Now that I've given myself this insight, if I saw a toy Routemaster and a Peace Sign side by side, in a Store, I'd buy the Bus and leave the Peace Sign for somebody who would really want it. College has made me a better person. At least it's made me more honest. :)



pink
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20 Mar 2006, 6:56 am

Everything we do makes us who we are. You wouldn't trade you for somebody else, would you?



CockneyRebel
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20 Mar 2006, 11:30 pm

pink wrote:
Everything we do makes us who we are. You wouldn't trade you for somebody else, would you?

No I wouldn't. You have a good point. :wink:



CockneyRebel
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07 May 2006, 11:43 pm

I've thought about the whole College thing. It wasn't college that's changed me. I've made the decision to change myself. Especially after signing out a book on Popular Culture from the College Library for a few weeks. I didn't want to be a bad example for the Lower Functioning Students who were in my Programme, which the population accounted for 80% of the Students. Half of them weren't able to remember to wash, every day. There was one Student, who rarely washed. I was also sick of both my Parents and Canada. My Parents didn't put my name on the Voters' List, because they thought that I was too disabled to understand politics, which that out-molded attitude didn't make sense to me, after I've spent the whole Summer of 1993, following the Campainge for the October 93 Election on the Noon News Hour, every single day. I gave up on Canada and the Maple Leaf, and I've started to admire England and the Routemaster became my version of God. I'm actually thrilled that all that has happened. The Hackney Carriages (or Black London Taxis) became my Angels. I've been in that Happy Spot, since the first week of November 1993. It was as though, since I didn't vote for Canada, when I was 18, going on 19, that I could finally be who I truly was, and still am, today. College didn't destroy me. It's made me stronger. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.



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08 May 2006, 7:03 am

you like oldies too??? im 21 and still stuck! lol about the subject, I have chosen not to go to college because im not the kind of person who wants to pay an arm and a leg to maybe do the same thing I did in high school or should have learned there (saying if you had my classes cockney, you would be sooo bored you would actually strike up a conversation with the routemasters!) if I do go beyond high school I perfer a technical trade school were you take what you asked for and no extras (english, math, science and history, languages) I also feel bad for all aspies who have been assumed about in life. I mean so what many may like doors and many may like routemasters but that don't mean we cannot do academics like a a "normal" mainstream person who keeps popping A's as grades.


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costre
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12 May 2006, 9:05 am

pink wrote:
Everything we do makes us who we are. You wouldn't trade you for somebody else, would you?


I actually don't know. I bet you think that if you aren't satisfied with who you are, you can just change? Not that easy ... (Time to kill the party :P )

I'm completely obsessed with the cruelty and injustice in the world. Just because I live in a country where these things are practically nonexistant, doesn't mean they are gone once and for all. My country seems to have scooped all their troubles onto other countries. That just makes things worse.

I remember when I encountered the harsh reality of global politics and warfare the first time, I was about seven or eight. I stayed up past my bedtime and watched a documentary about children forced to become soldiers. They had real interviews, along with actors in a jungle remaking the horrors of the guerilla warfare.
They stormed schools and markets, guns drawn, kidnapped children by the dozen, and drove to an isolated area in the middle of the jungle. They started asking the children if they wanted to become soldiers. Most were silent. One 12-year-old boy raised his hand, and said "I want to become a soldier, but my mother is ill, I have to take care of her". -"Well, then leave!" was the answer. After ten steps the soldier fired his machinegun into the kids back.

Sure, it was only a remake on TV, but it sticks with me to this day. :(

In one building, they had a steel-spring mattress hanging from wires in the ceiling. Electrical equipment was hooked up to this mattress. They put the kids who resisted onto this mattress and turned up the juice.

That also got to me like nothing else had before.

After year or two, Amnesty International visited my school. They had some informational videos that they played in front of my class. It all came back to me. Figures and numbers, "This and this many is tortured right now beacause of their opinions", "This and this many kids are killed in guerilla warfare each month".
Poor little me, spoiled by living in a neutral industrialized country, burst into tears in front of the whole class and ran out of the classroom. They found me sitting on the floor, huddled up, crying and sobbing. One kid asked me if I was alright. All I could say was something like "It's all so f*****g awful ..!". He replied, "Yeah, I know ..."

After this I joined Amnesty International, at age ten. I went to a few meetings, of course along with my parents, only to discover that the average person attending was about 55 years old. I didn't feel quirte at home, as you can understand. Also, the way I felt it back then, all they did was talking about different letters back and forth, ambassadeurs in different countries, journalist reports ... and here I was, pretty much ready to go into one of these camps, guns blazing!

To answer your question:
I think I would change my life for someone able to say, "Sure, it's a crazy world, but look at the nice weather outside!"

We are all raised by fairy tales, stories about people being nice, and kind, and sharing. We learn that friendship is important, that we should "Give peace a chance". That greed is bad, that giving is more important that taking. When you grow up, and try to live by these ideals, people call you a freak, a hippie, that you're living in a dream world, that you wish for utopia, something that will never be ..!

Why not tell young kids realistic stories, about taking what you can before it's too late? To buy for $10 and sell for $20?
What's the point of planting beautiful dreams, and humane ideas, inside a young mind that only lead to disappointments when you watch what's actually going on? :roll:



Elanivalae
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12 May 2006, 4:09 pm

College seems to have made most people I know more liberal; it made me more cynical. xD However, it did give me a pretty good idea of the kind of person I wasn't interested in being, so in that way it has helped me.

If college helped you discover new interests and questions some of your old ways of thinking, whatever they were, it was probably worth it. In today's world of lax educational standards, that's about the best thing it can be said to do for most people.



sunny
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22 May 2006, 10:45 pm

Hi Costre,
I wanted to reply to your post. As I read it I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for the good to do nothing." The fact that you allowed yourself to feel appalled and saddened for these people is the first step towards action. How many people do sit around doing nothing? It is sad. But you forget about all the unsung heros out there every day, average people. Social workers who care enough to do a sh***y job that pays nothing, teachers getting paid peanuts because they have ideals and think education means something, young people volunteering any way they can, even people giving a dollar to a homeless person on the street.

I understand your point about wishing you could trade points of view with someone who was "none the wiser", but I really think that there is something to be said for expereincing the pain that life brings; it adds to the joy when you think about it. How can you ever truly appreciate what is good in life unless you realize that there are bad things, too?

I think it is beautiful that at age 10 you wanted to help those children who were made to become soldiers or die. THere is something so beautiful about imagining such an innocent child with such depth of feeling and understanding for another human being's plight. Sorry, it just really touched me deeply. We need more people like you!



CockneyRebel
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28 May 2006, 9:23 am

I'm guessing that I can make Peace with myself by being all things to all people, while cherishing my AS and looking at the positive changes that I've made in College, even though I was surrounded by Jerks and I didn't learn anything. Now that I've taken the opportunity to look at the changes that I've made in College, I've come to a realization that I still would have gotten in touch with my Authentic Self if I didn't go to College. I've also just realized, that since I've started phasing out my Coffee Habbit, that I've been obsessed with Routemasters, since my Pre-School Trip to Victoria. It was the fact that I was looking for a Crutch, when I was dealing with my less than stellar Classmates, while I was in that Programme, and that the idea of the Programme was to get the client moving forward that made me turn to London, as I knew it, back than, which is now Classic London, after December 9th as a Crutch. Now I'm proud that I've made Routemastered London my escape, instead of retreating deeper into the Hippie Lifestyle and starting a Drug Habbit. If I went the other way, I'd probably be Brain-Damaged from Drug-Use, locked-up in the Big House, or the worst thing that a young person can be, which is Dead. I feel much better about myself, now. Especially on this day, my first day without even one cup of Coffee in three months, I've realised that I've been obsessed with the Mighty Red Bus, since I was Five, which is the age that a person's Personality usually starts to develope, instead of Ninteen. I can make myself feel even better about myself, by being all things to all of the Members at my Club House, while honouring the Memory of London's Bus. And no more dulling my positive feelings for that Bus with Coffee! I was never like most Canadians and my Not So Canadian System can't tolerate Coffee. Why start blending in, now, when I've never wanted to, before? From this day on, I will honour myself, just as I am. :D



Captain_Brown
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25 Jul 2006, 11:25 am

No