For guys who are lonely and seeking women

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I tried to date/enter a relationship about 4 times, and none of them reached fruition (or anything long term . . . and no, sex was not involved). I guess my problem was that I honestly didnt know what i was wanting out of a relationship, not to mention that most people either overlook me, or something about me is intimidating. To this day, i dont know how i would even show my interest, let alone know what to do to keep it going (there is one im attracted to right now, but I only see her once in a while, and she's working when i do). Then again, im the typical game guy, and unfortunately not many women here are into that (and the ones that are have already found someone). Then there's the constant fear of drama . . . i dont want it, i dont need it.

But, id say the big thing is my defensive nature . . . i cannot stand making the first move (or what i call, "the first mistake"). Even then, if i were to be approached, id probably freeze up out of shock. I may try something online sometime in the future, but im not one to get my hopes up on anything (that and im not in a good financial or social situation, seeing as how i work 12-14 hrs a week and had to move back in with my parents).

How do I catch Stockholm Syndrome?

It would solve all my romantic problems!

Thus far the women I am compatible with are I am not attracted to and the women I am most attracted to I am not compatible with.

If I could just learn to be attracted to the women I am compatible with I would be an Aspie Super-Stud ;o)

I tried dating someone I wasn't attracted to once and it was disasterous for both parties, instead of being "just friends" we ended up "not friends".

What "stimuli" are required?

Hhmmmmm, interesting. I found it interesting that you said that you honestly didn't know what you wanted out of a relationship. I feel the same way, and I'm sure a lot of guys feel the same way. We are so busy trying to find love, trying to start a relationship, and I believe that if we got in one, we wouldn't really have any clue as to what we want to achieve through a relationship.

I honestly believe peer pressure and the media has made use feel the imperative need to try and date women. We see peers around us that are dating, we see advertisements in magazines, television, and the Internet that depict attractive women, often in revealing attire, that cause us to feel lust and to be attracted to superficial qualities. Everything around us tells us that the clock is ticking and time is running out and that if we don't date, we'll be alone forever. It is like we want to date to satisfy our emotional needs, so we won't be left out, as opposed to wanting to start a relationship to learn about the other person and to begin to enjoy their company.

I know personally that there are only 3 things I can trust in this world: God, family, and friends. Romantic love is not one of those. I cannot trust romantic love, for romantic love rejoices in those who need it the least, and mocks those who need it the most. It makes those who search for it miserable, and it is very conditional.

I think that friendships hold more weight than romantic relationships, they tend to last longer, and friends are always around. You don't have to try and impress them, they won't reject you without good cause.

Sorry, I'm on a rant, I digress. I understand what you are saying when you said you have trouble conveying romantic interest to a girl, for fear of rejection, or for fear of looking awkward. I've been down that road before, and it sucks.

My point of this whole post I wrote is this: If guys like us don't do well romantically, we shouldn't pursue love because it will usually yield the same results. Instead, we should focus on creating and maintaining friendships and engaging in our individual interests and hobbies. We can't count on love, but we can count on friends and ourselves, I guess that's my belief.

I have many reasons for why I DO NOT want to continue.

1. You don't approach a girl, your alone. You do approach one, and almost immediately she thinks your a weirdo or a sexual malcontent. So you may "hit the ball" by actually initiating a conversation, but then its caught by the shortstop and your out as soon as she sees any kind of social awkwardness. And most women these days see that as totally unattractive and your a sex offender or a serial killer.

2. Woman are NOT aggressive. They say they are about finding love these days but they are not. For some damn reason the male ALWAYS has to initiate something. God forbid the other gender actually do something more than stare at a guy if she likes him.

3. Failure after failure after failure. I am 27 and I have had 1 girlfriend...and that lasted 3 weeks...and I hated every day of it. I was just so driven with the thought that it was nice to have someone to sit next to other than a family member.

4. I have very little faith in women these days. They are MUCH more fickle than men are trust me. Most of them search for a man that simply does not exist. And certainly not an Aspie like me.

5. My negativity was created from trial and error, not because I was naturally negative. Be yourself? Your screwed. Pretend to be someone else? Your still screwed.

6. Being a virgin means your gay to most people now. Or simply a loser. Anybody remember that guy from Rocket Man?

7. I'm not rich or look like Brad Pitt