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LuxoJr
Deinonychus
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31 Jan 2010, 5:46 am

No. Whenever I meet new people, I nver talk to them first. Usually new people talk to me first. Or I am introduced to someone. And that's how I make friends.
I find it hard to START a conversation. I only know how to continue one or end one. Which sucks.


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passionatebach
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01 Feb 2010, 8:37 pm

I think the effort that I put into friendship really depends upon the person and why I would like to be their friend. I often times come off as clingy/obsessive to people.

I have learned that the longest friendships that I have held didn't involve the clingy/obsessive behavior at all. I just clicked with the person or we met through an activity that we were interested in (church, volunteering, etc). I have been friends with my best friend for close to 15 years now.

I have been trying to build a closer friendship with a casual friend that I have known since we were little kids (25 years!!). We seem to have similar interests, have somewhat of a common history, and share somewhat similar personalities, at least as observed in theory. Sadly the dynamic with his wife, kids and other friends is not allowing this to happen. Does anyone know how to get someone's attention when you feel a barrier has been put up?



mgran
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01 Feb 2010, 8:51 pm

I've officially given up.



Eto
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02 Feb 2010, 4:45 pm

I don't try very hard (at all?) to make friends, and I barely put effort into maintaining the friendships I have (in real life, at least--I'm more outgoing online and am more likely to put forth effort, and I treasure these friendships more). I remind myself a lot that the only reason I don't have many friends is because I don't put forth any effort.

I think the biggest issue is that I'm very introverted and rarely feel the need for human contact, and when I do I'm so anxious and shy socially that I scare myself out of making the first step to initiate a friendship or risk being overly-friendly or something. I don't want to be annoying. :/

I moved back to this school district after being away for about seven years, and I found myself in the same testing room for three days as one of my old best friends. I decided I'd go talk to him and see if he remembered me (I hadn't had any friends at this point and I needed someone I felt "safe" around desperately), but when class ended and everyone stood up and went to the door I panicked and never managed to say anything (and went to hide in the library for ten minutes before I could calm down). I've seen him multiple times since then and I've still never been able to say anything to him.

Social anxiety like that is a big stumbling block. :/ Even if I want to talk to people I can't get myself to do it.

But yeah, first and foremost comes the fact that I don't care much for human interaction anyway so I don't feel driven to make friends.


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LolaGranola
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17 Mar 2010, 11:26 am

Yeah, I do. I may not be as skilled or as smooth as most people, but I do what I can when I have it in me. As most of you know, it isn't easy. But I've tried harder to say hello to people. I sometimes make myself join in on conversations, even though I'm often shakey. I even baked cookies for the guy I liked, even though I knew I'd never have a chance.

It makes me both proud of myself, yet also sad. My efforts hardly ever matter.


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jc6chan
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17 Mar 2010, 11:31 am

I do try but I don't have enough knowledge of my generation to keep a normal conversation going (like music, movies, all these technology stuff).



PunkyKat
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18 Mar 2010, 10:08 pm

Yes. Many reasons. First of all I can never seem to find anyone who has the same intrests as me and I really just don't have the desire to make friends right now.



ebec11
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18 Mar 2010, 11:14 pm

If I feel like I need more friends, I work hard at making them. Most of the time I'll stick with what I have though :P
My friends are very understanding, they understand that I get overwhelmed with too much socialization and that most days that I'll sit in resource because my sensory/anxiety/whatever it is is worse then before.