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anneurysm
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23 Jan 2010, 10:41 pm

I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been fixated on a person in their life to the degree that they have become a "special interest".

I have had quite a few of these fixations over the years...my first one was at six...and they haven't stopped since then. They go beyond the scope of a typical crush on that this person is not only on your mind constantly, but you want to know anything and everything about said person...studying them in depth in an embarassingly stalkerish way. Although I'm not obsessed with them to the degree when I was a kid/teen, I have recently acknowledged that I still have a problem with this.

Can anyone relate to this? Share your experiences!


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


zeldapsychology
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23 Jan 2010, 10:58 pm

:-( I think I was obsessed with my coworker once (leading to her going to the boss with issues) and :-( I think sadly looking back kind of my Psychology teacher. :-( (She ALSO had issues with me saying I crossed the teacher student line etc.) (I assume going to your teachers office daily is a bad thing LOL!)



Steffy
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23 Jan 2010, 11:03 pm

I can totally relate to this. I have a tendency to get very fixated on one thing for awhile. Sometimes it is video games, or a tv show, but most of my fixations are towards people. I have a very big fear of people leaving me, so when I meet someone who i become friends with, I tend to spend A LOT of time talking to them, hanging out with them, and just generally being around them. This is a big problem for me, because I have ruined several relationships due to this. I finally seem to have found someone who seems to want to spend as much time talking to me as I want to talk to him. It is very nice. I know that being this way isn't exactly the healthiest thing in the world, but finding someone you can relate to is hard. Having my boyfriend is a very nice thing to have as he keeps me mentally stable and healthy.

I only have one real thing to warn about. I once became so fixated on a person that even though she was nasty to me, I still felt the need to be around her, which was mentally damaging. I realized this too late. If you find yourself in a situation like this, GET OUT OF IT. It may hurt, but you will be better off in the long run.


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Vince
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23 Jan 2010, 11:08 pm

Most of my obsessions have been with learning various creative skills. Like writing lyrics, beatboxing, constructing a puppet, screenwriting, et.c. My newest obsession, though, is Steffy.


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MikeyPikey92
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23 Jan 2010, 11:14 pm

anneurysm wrote:
I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been fixated on a person in their life to the degree that they have become a "special interest".

I have had quite a few of these fixations over the years...my first one was at six...and they haven't stopped since then. They go beyond the scope of a typical crush on that this person is not only on your mind constantly, but you want to know anything and everything about said person...studying them in depth in an embarassingly stalkerish way. Although I'm not obsessed with them to the degree when I was a kid/teen, I have recently acknowledged that I still have a problem with this.

Can anyone relate to this? Share your experiences!


I think I may be like this on occasion as well. The frustrating thing is it isn't stalkish at all...if anything I would go as far as to say Aspies hold the capacity to share more compassion then NT's.



poopylungstuffing
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23 Jan 2010, 11:37 pm

It has also happened to me on occasion... :(

It has always resulted in embarrassment :(



IdahoRose
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23 Jan 2010, 11:41 pm

I was obsessed with a former friend of mine for years. In fact, my fixation with her was one of the primary reasons why our friendship ended. Though I had a handful of friends throughout my school years, she was the one I was closest to, because we shared a common interest (she was as obsessed as I was, even though she was NT) and we spent a lot of time together outside of school. I called her all the time, and I was really clingy in both the emotional and the physical sense. To make a long story short, she found other friends who were cooler than me, I became more obsessed and possessive of her, we started getting into arguments, then... the end of the friendship.

I continued to be fixated on her for years, even though we are no longer on speaking terms. I looked up her up on Myspace and Facebook, reading over her pages. I called her home every year to wish her a happy birthday, Merry Christmas, etc. If I'd ever gotten my driver's license, I would have driven by her house often. "Drive-bys", I think that's the term people use.

I also dreamt about her frequently at night. The dreams almost always involved me going to her house and spending the night with her as though we were children again and nothing bad had happened between us.

My obsession with her ended about a month ago. I'm really happy I was finally able to let go, because I was often depressed by how much I wanted to be her friend, but she'd always ignore my offers and pretend like she never knew me.



MikeyPikey92
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23 Jan 2010, 11:46 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I was obsessed with a former friend of mine for years. In fact, my fixation with her was one of the primary reasons why our friendship ended. Though I had a handful of friends throughout my school years, she was the one I was closest to, because we shared a common interest (she was as obsessed as I was, even though she was NT) and we spent a lot of time together outside of school. I called her all the time, and I was really clingy in both the emotional and the physical sense. To make a long story short, she found other friends who were cooler than me, I became more obsessed and possessive of her, we started getting into arguments, then... the end of the friendship.

I continued to be fixated on her for years, even though we are no longer on speaking terms. I looked up her up on Myspace and Facebook, reading over her pages. I called her home every year to wish her a happy birthday, Merry Christmas, etc. If I'd ever gotten my driver's license, I would have driven by her house often. "Drive-bys", I think that's the term people use.

I also dreamt about her frequently at night. The dreams almost always involved me going to her house and spending the night with her as though we were children again and nothing bad had happened between us.

My obsession with her ended about a month ago. I'm really happy I was finally able to let go, because I was often depressed by how much I wanted to be her friend, but she'd always ignore my offers and pretend like she never knew me.


Was this just a good friend or something more. (did you want it to be?)



CockneyRebel
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24 Jan 2010, 12:27 am

I'm obsessed with The Kinks, as they were, between 64 and 84. There's one member that I really relate to, who was an important member of that group, during those years.


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IdahoRose
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24 Jan 2010, 1:07 am

MikeyPikey92 wrote:
Was this just a good friend or something more. (did you want it to be?)


I get this question a lot when I tell that story to people. The truth is, we were just good friends. Even though there were times when I questioned whether or not my feelings transcended that line, looking back, there was nothing sexual or romantic about it. I just wanted to be her best and only friend... because she was mine. To quote Jay from Jay and Silent Bob, I wanted me and her to be "hetero life-mates". :)

If she had been a guy, that'd have been a much different story. :wink:



richardbenson
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24 Jan 2010, 1:17 am

you dont want to be a dude and have a people obsession. survey says: oh you guessed it and it begins with a 3 letter word starting with F


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mjs82
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24 Jan 2010, 1:40 am

I'm obsessed with Steve McQueen. I have 4 movie posters, a Great Escape film cell, the toy car model from Bullitt and some other Steve stuff in my room.



poopylungstuffing
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24 Jan 2010, 1:50 am

I still have dreams about the person about whom i had my first major obsession..I know better than to take them seriously though



MikeyPikey92
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24 Jan 2010, 2:11 am

anneurysm wrote:
I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been fixated on a person in their life to the degree that they have become a "special interest".

I have had quite a few of these fixations over the years...my first one was at six...and they haven't stopped since then. They go beyond the scope of a typical crush on that this person is not only on your mind constantly, but you want to know anything and everything about said person...studying them in depth in an embarassingly stalkerish way. Although I'm not obsessed with them to the degree when I was a kid/teen, I have recently acknowledged that I still have a problem with this.

Can anyone relate to this? Share your experiences!


Nice Frank Zappa Sig. ; )



MathGirl
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24 Jan 2010, 2:27 am

I've had an obsession with a boy from my school, who has AS. He's not at my school anymore, but I still think about him often. My obsession is not a sexual one, at all, but rather an "organic" one, as I call it. I liked his jacket. I liked how he talked. I've also had obsessions with other people at school, and I often imitated them in some aspects (they were all girls, and got very good grades). I was obsessed with one girl's hair. She always let it down or put it in pigtails, so I did the same thing. There was another girl, whose hair I also liked, and the particular fabric of her fleece sweater. I then found myself a sweater with the same fabric.

I tend to become obsessed with certain people, but only focus on some specific characteristic(s) of them. For example, if the girl with the fleece sweater didn't wear the sweater for one day, I felt like something was missing. She then changed her style completely and stopped wearing these sweaters, and I stopped fixating on her.


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TheHaywire
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24 Jan 2010, 2:44 am

Not people who have broken up with me. Just people who have messed with my life. Which I think is somewhat normal.