Anyone else with AS who feels like an NT sometimes?

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Well, this is the only forum spot I think this would fit in, but off to the point


Anyone here with AS, like myself, that feel like they are NTs? It can either be constantly, or every now or then.

Ive just been feeling more and more recently that I am not really even having AS, even though I have an official DX. Not quite sure why I feel like this. I do know that I dont fit the stereotypical aspie much. I can list some things.

-I do small talk, even if I feel it as pointless, same goes for gossip and even I have spread rumors, so yeah.
-Stimming... not sure I even do it. Shaking my left leg while sitting may count (more like putting pressure on the ball of the foot and rocking that leg up and down.
-Im not really even that physically awkward. I may run weird but that is because of how freakishly tall I am, and I can move extremely quickly and accurately. (If I didnt, i wouldnt even be able to AA/AAA songs in DDR.)
-The whole body language, sometimes i get it right sometimes I dont, which is something I think I have in common with NTs as well.
-obsessive interests, I have a few, but I can easily switch to others. obsessions though would include anime and RPGs, and of course music.
-The whole lack of empathy? I dont fit that. I get swayed by peoples feeling to the point that I can actually go into a state where I feel like im taking too much in at once, then I have to let it out somehow, usually through raging.
-I do ignore social cues sometimes, though thats usually because I dont always look at people, I can have an overactive imagination at times that is prone to daydreaming.
-I have had some success socially, just not lately, because of the whole not having a job anymore, or having my license.(which yeah, living in a rural area makes things worse and I cant just up and leave for the city.)
-I do have periods of internal/external monlogue with myself, so yeah, sometimes it does seem like I am talking to myself, even though its just me thinking about s**t externally. Usually happens when I am stressed.


Overall sometimes I think I dont have AS, I just have depression with some social anxiety, and maybe an Anti-social personality disorder of some type.

I sometimes have that same problem, but I have a PDD-NOS diagnosis so it doesn't really matter.

DeamonAbyss10 -

Are you SURE you are not me in a blackout, or my evil twin, or my son Arbogast?

Tall - check, check

Into musique [though genre may differ] Arbogast

Left leg vibration raised on ball of foot - Philologos.

But I don't THINK I am you. Yet pretty well everything you say in there [including scepyical reexamination of the diagnosis] fits me.

So - if you, then I; if I, then you. If not, not.

NOTE -

There is a very fine line between some varieties of +/- diagnosed Asperger's and some varieties of the Enneagram 5, especially 5w4, if you know that typology. If you do not, look into it, you may find it interesting.

Is there a line at all? I am new to this, not clear at all where I stand yet. But AS or nay - I yam what I yam even without spinach. You are what U R. God made the integers - the labels are the work of man. Take what fits and helps, ignore the bone and underdone fat.

If diagnosis is based on behaviors, then I guess at one point you could have exhibited enough behaviors deemed autistic by some qualified person somewhere. Diagnosis is just a key that unlocks the door to support if needed or wanted, and self-understanding. If you don't understand yourself to fit the diagnosis, then it's not helpful to you.

My son is diagnosed with autistic disorder straight up. My daughter is diagnosed PDD-NoS. So one might assume that my son's behaviors are more profoundly autistic-looking than my daughters. Not the case at all. But whatever. The way I see it, they have those labels so we can access help as they need and want it. Every single member of our family has some strong autistic tendencies. As I've read all of the millions of books about autism written for the parental audience I've often laughed out loud to myself. As I child I am sure I would have been diagnosed if the amount of awareness that exists now had existed back then. At this point in life I don't think anyone would diagnose me. I am 34 and I swear I am still gaining social awareness. I often do things that I see (in retrospect) weren't so socially acceptable. I am very prone to blurting out obvious truths that might be rude and it still bothers me that the truth bothers some people. But whatever.

Questions to ponder: Does having the label bother you? Do you believe yourself to be autistic but it bothers you that you don't fit an exact profile? Does it matter if, in reality, you're depressed and anxious with an anti-social personality? Would you do anything differently if those were the words written across the top of your medical file in a cabinet in some doctor's office somewhere?

Sometimes I doubt my diagnosis after going to AS social groups beause I end up seeing myself as being "too normal" to fit the criteria. The people there seem like they have a lot more issues than me & sometimes I think that I have depression along with just being a bit different, and everyone's a bit different, right? My counselor thinks I'm in denial but I don't know what to believe.