guys approaching girls = inefficient

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mpe
Deinonychus
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16 Dec 2014, 6:26 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Knowing who you should be asking out, who is suitable. And people should be asking out people who suit them, as they are more likely to be receptive to saying yes to a date.


The who is "suitable" depends on many different factors.
There's also the problem that quite a large proportion of people (more women than men it appears) will not date "friends". Thus raising the question of how you could possibly find out if they are suitable in the first place.



yellowtamarin
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16 Dec 2014, 8:45 pm

Uprising wrote:
But how does one objectively measure such things?

Like physical attractiveness for example?

hotornot.com?

And don't certain people have certain preferences that others don't have?

Like a 6 to one person can't be a 6 to everyone for example, or can they?

They aren't objectively measured, they are subjectively measured, that's the whole point. You want to figure out who is suitable for you. And yes, while you may find someone physically attractive, that doesn't mean they will feel the same way about you. Getting to know yourself really well (including getting to know how different people respond to you, etc.) helps to ascertain whether there is likelihood of a mutual attraction. Like I could walk down the street and see someone about whom I could say "yes, they are attractive and I wouldn't kick them out of bed" but I'd feel fairly certain that they would not feel the same way about me. Of course I couldn't know for sure, but having a greater level of "judgement" I guess you could call it, means you pursue fewer people but those people are more likely to be suitable. The success rate rises.

Sure, another method is to ask out almost anyone, but then you will have a lower success rate. If that won't get you down, that may be a perfectly valid way to go about it.


SinewStew may have simply been referring to things like "best not to ask out someone who is in a relationship" because they are much less likely to be receptive to dating you. Might sound simple enough but I know people who don't even realise that this should generally be a limiting factor, or at least that one's relationship status should be established before there is any asking out.


mpe wrote:
The who is "suitable" depends on many different factors.

Sure does.



yellowtamarin
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16 Dec 2014, 8:47 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Uprising wrote:
But how does one objectively measure such things?

Like physical attractiveness for example?

hotornot.com?

And don't certain people have certain preferences that others don't have?

Like a 6 to one person can't be a 6 to everyone for example, or can they?

They aren't objectively measured, they are subjectively measured, that's the whole point. You want to figure out who is suitable for you. And yes, while you may find someone physically attractive, that doesn't mean they will feel the same way about you. Getting to know yourself really well (including getting to know how different people respond to you, etc.) helps to ascertain whether there is likelihood of a mutual attraction. Like I could walk down the street and see someone about whom I could say "yes, they are attractive and I wouldn't kick them out of bed" but I'd feel fairly certain that they would not feel the same way about me. Of course I couldn't know for sure, but having a greater level of "judgement" I guess you could call it, means you pursue fewer people but those people are more likely to be suitable. The success rate rises.

Sure, another method is to ask out almost anyone, but then you will have a lower success rate. If that won't get you down, that may be a perfectly valid way to go about it.


SinewStew may have simply been referring to things like "best not to ask out someone who is in a relationship" because they are much less likely to be receptive to dating you. Might sound simple enough but I know people who don't even realise that this should generally be a limiting factor, or at least that one's relationship status should be established before there is any asking out.

So it's probably actually more about "ruling out" than "ruling in".


mpe wrote:
The who is "suitable" depends on many different factors.

Sure does.