guys approaching girls = inefficient

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ELLCIM
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23 Mar 2006, 9:09 am

hellznrg wrote:
fun fact: in UAE (where i live), the gender ratio is like 2:1 (men:women) :P .. because of this, most of the guys here are desperate and can be pigs....!


And I thought Southern Ontario was bad.



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23 Mar 2006, 3:19 pm

Usually in my experience, the only people who get shot down by me are the ones who shouldn't have even asked. If I don't know a person and have never shown any indication of wanting to get to know them better, I am going to say no politely. (unless they are being piggy, in which case I say no, but not politely) I have always thought that asking someone on a date is something you should kind of know the answer to before you ask. (ie, you know the person, you have shown a mutual interest in each other etc.)


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06 Dec 2014, 1:28 pm

That sounds like you should never make any attempt to get to know someone unless they make the attempt first—which they clearly shouldn’t, either, if they’re bound by the same rules. So you can’t actually get to know anyone, ever.


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cathylynn
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06 Dec 2014, 2:15 pm

in my single days, i asked quite a few guys out. got rejected some. can't give a ratio. but, ultimately, i hit the lottery when i asked my husband out.



sacrip
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06 Dec 2014, 2:25 pm

I suppose we could go back to arranged marriages. Then you're guaranteed a wife with no hassle. Of course, if you don't like her you're stuck, but when I was younger and afraid of being alone forever I would have taken the chance.

The reason girls don't hit on guys is that they're called sluts when they do. By guys AND girls.


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06 Dec 2014, 2:36 pm

sacrip wrote:
I suppose we could go back to arranged marriages. Then you're guaranteed a wife with no hassle.


Unless there’s no arrangement for you, or, even worse, your parents decide you’re going to be a priest or something like that even before you’re born.


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Jjancee
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06 Dec 2014, 5:18 pm

hellznrg wrote:
Nomaken wrote:
I wouldn't call it ineffecient. I would call it more convenient for me if they approached me. Make things easier for meeeee! /sarcasm


well they're the ones who ultimately choose.. the current situation is like people who want to sell something spam you with unwanted advertisements and email and telemarketing for their products ... no one likes spam.. better way is to just put your product out there, and if the buyer decides he/she wants it, then he/she will buy it...

it's the same thing here... see... the fact is that 95% of the time, guys get shot down, but a woman would rarely be shot down... you can argue with me, but you can't argue with mathematics!


If you're getting shot down by 95% women, consistently, regardless of where you are (school/work/bar after either/sporting event/etc) and over time (when you were in high school/college/working/on vacation/etc) , the common denominator isn't "the women" (since it's different women at different times in different venues) -- it is YOU.

Have you considered that whatever it is you're doing isn't working? And is repellant to pretty much all women you come across?

The guys I shoot down tend to be self-proclaimed "nice guys", boring, over-entitled jerks or a combination thereof. (Insisting you are such a "nice guy"? Triggers my creep-o-meter, as it's almost invariably an indication that you are NOT).



The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Dec 2014, 5:33 pm

Jjance's reply to every guy on WP complaining about dating: It's YOU! You are repellent! YOU are horrible, you deserve to die!

Mods, you *really* should ban this Tarantella/starvingartist's sock puppet (and even she isn't, she's been attacking every male member over here), the same type of *drip drip* sexism against me.

Guys, you should ignore her and just report her post when she attacks you. Keep doing this till she's banned the way she deserves.



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06 Dec 2014, 7:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jjance's reply to every guy on WP complaining about dating: It's YOU! You are repellent! YOU are horrible, you deserve to die!

Mods, you *really* should ban this Tarantella/starvingartist's sock puppet (and even she isn't, she's been attacking every male member over here), the same type of *drip drip* sexism against me.

Guys, you should ignore her and just report her post when she attacks you. Keep doing this till she's banned the way she deserves.


I read a post on a dating advice website the other day that basically said that women DESPISE inferior males, they hate inferior males much more than males hate and despise sluts. They went on to say that women believe that inferior males deserve all the pain that they receive, which if true, is a real eye-opener.

Considering that this person seems to be railing on some of the most disenfranchised males on the planet, guys that have basically been alone their entire lives...I think it just might be true.



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06 Dec 2014, 7:38 pm

Klowglas wrote:
I read a post on a dating advice website the other day that basically said that women DESPISE inferior males, they hate inferior males much more than males hate and despise sluts. They went on to say that women believe that inferior males deserve all the pain that they receive, which if true, is a real eye-opener.

Considering that this person seems to be railing on some of the most disenfranchised males on the planet, guys that have basically been alone their entire lives...I think it just might be true.


Do you have a source for this? Not that I dismiss the idea, I'm asking because it seems like a topic worth looking into if there's any scientific research on the subject.

In any case, I think if it was socially acceptable for girls to approach guys, we'd all be better off.


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hurtloam
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07 Dec 2014, 2:53 am

I'm still dubious about this idea that women don't ask men out. My mum asked my dad out, my best friend asked out her husband, I was at a wedding recently and the bride was the one who asked the groom out.

If I was going only on personal experience I've asked more men out than men have asked me out.



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07 Dec 2014, 4:03 am

Jjancee wrote:
The guys I shoot down tend to be self-proclaimed "nice guys", boring, over-entitled jerks or a combination thereof. (Insisting you are such a "nice guy"? Triggers my creep-o-meter, as it's almost invariably an indication that you are NOT).


So, if you don’t want to be a creep and an over-entitled jerk, you shouldn’t consider yourself nice or expect any woman to have a good time with you—therefore, the right thing to do is to stay away from her and keep any desire you might have towards her well concealed till it wears off.

Klowglas wrote:
I read a post on a dating advice website the other day that basically said that women DESPISE inferior males, they hate inferior males much more than males hate and despise sluts. They went on to say that women believe that inferior males deserve all the pain that they receive, which if true, is a real eye-opener.


I think a woman with a successful and interesting life can’t be bothered to waste her time or her energy paying any attention to “inferior males”, so she doesn’t hate them—they’re simply irrelevant to her.

On the other hand, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the weak are widely despised. Considering our biological origins and the need to fight for survival, if anything, society should be expected to have more means to weed out its weak members.

SammichEater wrote:
In any case, I think if it was socially acceptable for girls to approach guys, we'd all be better off.


Not really. Those fond of slut-shaming would be worse off. If people weren’t so reluctant to let go of the concept of a “slut” as we know it, it probably wouldn’t exist anymore.


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XFilesGeek
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07 Dec 2014, 11:44 am

[MODERATOR ATTENTION]

Jjancee has been shown the door.

Please continue on with this discussion.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Dec 2014, 3:07 pm

^ Thank you.



sly279
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07 Dec 2014, 7:43 pm

OTTILY wrote:
If a girl's going to actually ask a guy out I'll bet she's thought it through a lot more than when a guy does it and is pretty certain the answer will be yes.
Guys just seem to hit on anyone that smiles at them.


well if a guy thinks it through hes called creepy or stalker. not really a easy way to find out if a woman is interested in you other than asking any girl who smiles at you.