Page 2 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Lecks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,987
Location: Belgium

09 Feb 2010, 3:20 pm

My siblings and I get along, to a point. As the oldest of 3 boys (5 really, but I never had any contact with the youngest 2) I had my own room and was given a certain amount of favoritism from my parents and grandparents which slightly alienated me from my brothers.

We used to play together when we were young, but once I reached puberty that stopped as I preffered to be by myself at that point. Over the years we've drifted apart, still living in the same house and spending a lot of time in eachother's presence but there's no sibling bond to speak of.

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be an only child, according to my family I took my oldest younger brother to my grandparents when I was about 7. We walked by ourselves, for more than 5 kilometers, I left my brother infront of the door of my grandparents' house because they weren't home and headed back. On the way back home I was picked up by my grandfather, he yelled at me on the ride to his house and I was treated to more yelling by my grandmother and parents when we arrived.
I distinctly remember them crying and screaming and then hugging me. I remember this because it confused me, they were still crying and screaming as they were hugging me and I didn't understand, their actions seemed to contradict eachother.

...and now I've gone and had myself a nice rant. Ah well.


_________________
Chances are, if you're offended by something I said, it was an attempt at humour.


TonyTheTiger
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 94

09 Feb 2010, 4:10 pm

I'm the oldest of three, but my brother is close enough in age that I was able to benefit from his "normalcy" and make friends with most of his friends. My sister is ten years younger and used to be a huge pain, but even that has made me more patient. They're both NT's.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 24,949
Location: Pacific Northwest

09 Feb 2010, 4:50 pm

angelbear wrote:
Hello all! I am the parent of a wonderful 4 year old AS little boy. He is more than likely going to be an only child mainly because of my age. (I was 40 when I had him) Anyway, I worry about him not having any siblings. I was hoping to hear about your experiences with having (or not having) a sibling----



I enjoyed having brothers because I had more toys to play with and someone to play with and I treated them like they were my sons than my brothers. But there were times when I wished I was an only child. More Christmas presents I thought, no one to go in my room or touch my things, less messes in the house. Then I hated having them and wished I was an only child all the time when I was 13. As I got older they got loud and made messes and moved things. What was even worse was when they have parties so as they got older, it was harder to be a sister.



Descartes30
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 Dec 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 272
Location: Earth, for now.

09 Feb 2010, 4:57 pm

I have 10 siblings, and it was quite the opposite of help, and remains as such even in my 30s. The less I have to do with them, the better.


_________________
Plimba prin umbra, pina la marginea noptii


IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

09 Feb 2010, 5:10 pm

It depends on the sibling. For example, my brother is one of my greatest joys in life, while my two older sisters are a real pain in the neck (figuratively speaking).



Hello
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 78

09 Feb 2010, 5:17 pm

For me worse. I have one sibling that is a worthless scumbag. Makes life hard for child, my parents, me, everybody comes in contact with. Sibling really one of the lowest beings I think God ever created and serves no purpose at all. I know that sounds mean and harsh about a sibling, but you have no idea what we've been through and still go through on a daily basis. Constant stress, worry and anxiety.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

09 Feb 2010, 8:27 pm

I had good and bad times with my siblings. My eldest sister was bossy but a nurturer. My sister closest to my age would pick on me, hit me but we have the most in common. One upset mood could be resolved with one Monty Python quote. My brother I loved and worshipped as a child but I could never disagree with him or he'd go apesh*** at me.
I was very different than my siblings and my mum noticed this so gave extra time for me and was more protective. I see that as a good thing.
It was hard for me to make my own friends so I would hang out with my sister at school. When she went to high school I was left to be on my own.
There is good and bad. In the end it is your decision. Please don't decide against having another child because of negative words used here about past experiences.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


Ray_Carver
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 28

09 Feb 2010, 8:44 pm

i love my little brother. he and i are both Aspies; he was diagnosed at age 5, i am currently undiagnosed. i helped raise him, and he kept me sane. our parents used to work all the time, so my little brother and i took care of each other. he is 17, and i am turning 19 soon, and we still like each other. out of all my friends, i am the only one who is still friends with my little brother and always was. most people get a tad annoyed with younger siblings apparently... never happened with us, though, for which i am quite grateful. i honestly don't know what i would have done through my high school years without my little brother, and i am so glad i can be here to help him grow up, just like he helped me. i wouldn't give my brother up anything. i love him. i shudder to think what would have happened if i had been an only child...



angelbear
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,219

09 Feb 2010, 8:48 pm

Thanks for all of the great posts!

Pensieve, well having another biological child may be more out of my control and in God's hands since we have sort of been trying for over 3 years and it has not happened. If we adopt a child, they will more than likely be an older child (3-8yr old range) My concern is that if they are too hyper or have too many issues from the past, that it may interfere with my caring for my son. Or, it may just put too much stress on him having his world upset. Our house tends to be fairly quiet, so I have to be careful of my decision.

Overall, I guess I just felt sad that I had not been able to have a sibling for my son, but hearing some of these posts makes me wonder if he will be allright without one!



Philologos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,987

10 Feb 2010, 12:57 am

I have tpo say it REALLY depends on the siblings and the parents. I am eldest of 5 - one pretty functional, 1 not so functional, two seriously challenged, none Aspie [unless one brother], and I am the most successful overall. I suffered no damage.

My wife in the middle of 6, two pretty functional, 1 not so functional, two challenged. Probably no other Aspie type; she got a lot of messing up from a couple of the,

Our son, only child - came along fairly late - hovering around theaspie border somewhere, very healthy happy.



Michael_Stuart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 500

10 Feb 2010, 1:57 am

My earliest memories consist mainly of my supposed brother destroying my favorite items and hurting me. These days he plays loud music and sees fit to "borrow" my things whenever he wants to. He's rather unintelligent, and I do not feel he is in any way related to me.



wigglyspider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,306
Location: WA, USA

10 Feb 2010, 4:41 am

I had looooottttssss of rivalry with my little sister when we were kids. We were friends for a few years when she got older, but then she surpassed me and left home, and she doesn't have time for me anymore. For practical purposes, I don't know if it was totally worth it, having a sibling. (Although I love her.)
Maybe a dog would be better. It's a better bet, anyway, I think.
It does take a very special person to be a good sibling to someone who struggles with life... and I think those people are rarer than good dogs.


_________________
"You gotta keep making decisions, even if they're wrong decisions, you know. If you don't make decisions, you're stuffed."
- Joe Simpson


Prosser
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2008
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 941
Location: Perth, Westen Australia

10 Feb 2010, 5:36 am

I have an older brother and a younger sister. I suppose I used to look up to my older brother, but he stayed in England while rest of the family moved here to australia. We keep in contact, and I was always happy to have him as a brother I guess.

My sister, however, I have always found incredibly annoying, and since turning 14 has become a real b***h. Always bringing friends home (most of which give me dodgey stares, causing me to hide in my room a lot) and always playing loud ass music. He honestly makes me miserable. But, at the same time, I think I'd be incredibly lonley without at least one sibling. I don't know, I might of been happier as a lonely child. I doubt it though.


_________________
I wandered though the weird and lurid landscape of another planet.


PlatedDrake
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,365
Location: Piedmont Region, NC, USA

10 Feb 2010, 1:28 pm

I actually enjoyed life with my two younger brothers, and our parents were fairly good at keeping us in line (assuming no one here minds using a paddle for discipline). We kept things fairly democratic (2:1 vote wins), our interests ran the same way (most of the time), and our arguments were short-lived. We never got into physical arguments with each other (our parents would tear our butts up if we did), and we were able to help each other out when needed (homework, etc). It all depends on the parenting . . . having more than one child you have to ensure the love is spread equally.



wigglyspider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,306
Location: WA, USA

10 Feb 2010, 2:33 pm

PlatedDrake wrote:
I actually enjoyed life with my two younger brothers, and our parents were fairly good at keeping us in line (assuming no one here minds using a paddle for discipline). We kept things fairly democratic (2:1 vote wins), our interests ran the same way (most of the time), and our arguments were short-lived. We never got into physical arguments with each other (our parents would tear our butts up if we did), and we were able to help each other out when needed (homework, etc). It all depends on the parenting . . . having more than one child you have to ensure the love is spread equally.
Ooh, actually, I wasn't thinking about it when I made my post, but this is totally true. I have a HFA friend with 3 siblings (all of the sort of AS-ish) and their parents keep everything in PERFECT order, and from what I've seen, they all get along very well most of the time. It's a very well-run organization. They have charts for who does what chores and stuff like that so nobody has to argue, and the parents have raised all the kids to be open and honest so they never play dirty or anything.


_________________
"You gotta keep making decisions, even if they're wrong decisions, you know. If you don't make decisions, you're stuffed."
- Joe Simpson