Partner's forum

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There's a women's only forum, children's forum, teen's forum, parent's forum... How about a forum for NT partners of Aspies? There are no other sites that I know of that are decent for partners. I suggest Partner's forum with two sub-forums. One for no Aspies allowed, and one, Aspies allowed.

http://asdrelationships.freeforums.org/

Besides minors not being allowed in the adult section (and to a more limited extent I think adults being somewhat discouraged from the adolescent section? I'm not totally sure how that works..) there aren't really sections where anybody isn't allowed. It's not a "Women's only" forum, it's a "Women's discussion" section, more for female issues.. sometimes the most helpful bits in there are actually from guys, though-- like when there's a thread about how to fend off unwanted attention, a comment from an aspie guy like "if they won't take no for an answer, smack 'em!" (not exactly that.. but you know what I mean, I hope) can be the most helpful, because a guy with trouble understanding people expressing that women shouldn't have to put up with excessive unwanted advances can help alleviate the fear of being rude to someone being rude to you. (Point being that an opinion from outside the demographic of the particular discussion can really have a lot of insight.)

I would suggest In-Depth Adult Discussion as the best forum on WP for that conversation. New forums aren't often created here, though feedback is welcome. However, given that this is an ASD support community, why would you have an area that did not allow the very people who this site is designed for? That doesn't make any sense to me, I'm afraid - would you explain?


M.

I agree, but I suggested two separate forums, since many people wouldn't want to post on an aspie forums, expecting to be critisized for having any issue.

What would be the point of coming to an aspie site to talk about something that they don't want aspies to even see?
Also, WP is rather unique in the way that the sections are moderated somewhat differently.. different topics and tones are appropriate for different sections, which helps keep any criticisms in a context that they're helpful and relevant to the particular topic. Wanting to compartmentalize like that is native to aspie nature, I think, and it keeps things somewhat predictable, but it also facilitates the discussion of the topic at hand in the most constructive way, too. (So that if you're talking about a particular problem in a relationship, and you take it to the in-depth adult life section, which is specified to have a more mature tone, you can expect to have a mature discussion about the topic you actually want to talk about, rather than take off in all kinds of bizarre other directions.)
But like Maku said, coming to an autism support site to talk about something that you don't want the opinion of aspies on doesn't really make any sense.

I suggest you tear down the walls you seek to erect.

Mostly because there are few other sites available, and it is aspie/autism related.

However, having separate sections (aspie/autistic and non-aspie/autistic) isn't necessary. Although there is a relationship section, having a section for partners would be similiar to having a section for parents, instead of Adult issues. Having a separate forum in general would still provide a level of comfort for people who may otherwise feel they are posting critisms in "enemy territory".

You are at a website for us Aspies. Don't demand further.

But you suggest an area where those on the spectrum would not be welcome or able to access, do you not? If that mentality were to be extended, PPR would be devoid of posts and full of subdirectories for those with a shared mentality. Personally, I think it is more important that we create an environment where those subjects can be discussed jointly than further divide the genders or the neurologies.


M.

Thanks for the link.

The suggestion was that it should go in the in-depth adult life discussion section, not the adult section-- they're two very different things. The adult section is for topics inappropriate for minors.. the in-depth adult life section focuses largely on long-term relationships and other similar.. well, in-depth adult life-type topics. (Okay, I know I can't effectively use the same term to describe it.. but it's a descriptive term, really!) It focuses on "high standard of maturity" type "adult maturity," not "sex" type "maturity." (The "adult" section can hardly be actually described as "mature" by many other definitions besides the "not appropriate for children" way.)
But WP just isn't the right place for any discussion that makes aspies into the "enemy." (Although maybe if you're feeling like aspies are the enemy, you need some aspie opinions on whatever the topic making you feel that way is.. and in-depth adult life would be a good place to get those.)

[edit: removed countering the personal attack]

That is part of my suggestion, however a forum where anyone is welcome is better than no forum at all. Not having any forum may give the implication those not on the spectrum are not welcome to pose their issues. My suggestion of two forums is only an idea to allow NT partners any area where they wouldn't worry about interference from... well, whoever is "causing" them to need support (from their perspective).

Same here. I will pass it on to my partner.

Read what I said:

As a male, I would be hesitant to post in a women's forum... I would assume it would be the same for an NT posting in an Aspie/autism forum. People seeking support generally look to those in a similiar situation. Certainly, NT partners can benifit from other aspies/autistics, but that's not generally what they want. They want support and view-points of other NT's in similiar situations. (Hence most people on wrongplanet being on the spectrum.)

That's not to say that wrongplanet shouldn't provide a place for NT partners. From my eperience, they are welcomed and encouraged to participate. So why not provide them a support forum area of their own?

Whether spectrum individuals are welcome om that area is a secondary consideration, and I can certainly see the reasons not to do that. In other words, don't get bogged down on that part of the suggestion.

Are you reading the responses here, or not?
(bold added)
On an Asperger's forum in which men are can give input on issues in the women's discussion, how does it seem reasonable to create a section in which people with Asperger's are not allowed to participate? More to the point, though, WP deliberately avoids creating an abundance of unnecessary sections. Being that there are already sections for discussing topics related to relationships (Love And Dating,) social skills (Social Skills and Making Friends,) sexuality (Adult Autism Issues,) long-term relationships (In-Depth Adult Life) why would a community designed to support people with autism spectrum disorders create a section specifically for people who are not on the spectrum to talk about topics that already have appropriate sections? People who aren't on the spectrum, be they friends, parents, significant others, or people who just have an interest in autism, are generally quite welcome, but I really don't understand how the a section like what you're suggesting would be appropriate for Wrong Planet. There are quite a few significant others of people on the spectrum who do post here in sections that already exist. If they're looking for a place to say negative things about people on the spectrum and not get a spectrum opinion on what they're saying, Wrong Planet an inappropriate place to do so, and I don't think you're going to find many people who would say otherwise. If somebody wants to bash aspies and not hear an aspie opinion on what they're saying, WP is not the place to do so, and if they want to talk about issues related to being in a relationship with an aspie, there are already appropriate sections for that. I don't see how it's possible for WP to cater the theory that people who are not on the spectrum "may" feel like they're in "enemy territory" by coming to an aspie site. If they don't want to hear from aspies, they don't come to WP in the first place.

Personally, I don't view creating another forum category as "catering". Creating more than one forum, I admit, would be, but I shouldn't have recommended that. I think it's a good idea, but obviously not going to win that arguement.

So let's just ignore the idea of two forums...

There are many NT's posting about relationship advice here. To me, that's a good indicater of the need for a forem dedicated to that. I've already explained why NT's may prefer a separate section. As for why WP is an apporpriate place to host such a group, for every NT who posts in it (and who would not have otherwise posted), is an Aspie/autistic in a relationship who is getting help from the other side of their relationship. By helping a partner of an Aspie/autistic, you are helping an Aspie/autistic. I am not suggesting anyone be allowed to "bash" anyone else for any reason. However, when asking for relationship advice, it's almost impossible not to place some sort of bias against the other, especially when things are going wrong. That's why I can see there may be reticence for a NT to post in an Aspie/autistic forum... for fear of being percieved as being critical towards aspies/autistics in general. Even by providing a single forum where aspies/autistics can respond, it gives the clear signal that NT's are welcome to post on Aspie/autistic topics (or even non-related topics). I know they are welcome, and many do, but how many don't feel welcome?

I've read many disagreeing with idea, however the only reason I have gleened (aside from understandable disdain for a no-aspie/autistic zone) is that it would add more clutter. Definitly true, but as I've said, I feel is justified. Are there other reasons it's not a good idea? (Sorry for being thick, I'm sure other reasons have been put forth, and I'm just not "getting it".)

Wouldn't creating a separate section for NTs to talk about relationships with aspies, on an autism website where there are already multiple sections addressing relationships and relationship-related issues, create more feelings of separation and us-vs-them? If you want to encourage NTs in relationships with aspies to participate in the WP community, why create a separate section for them to post about their autism-related relationship issues? So in addition to being another section for topics that already have appropriate sections, creating a single section for NTs to post in would be saying that they shouldn't be posting in the rest of the sections, wouldn't it? As it is, NTs who are in relationships with aspies, or with people they think may be aspies, post in relationship-related sections not specifically designated for NT use. It wouldn't facilitate communication to suddenly create a separate section where they're supposed to post those concerns, it would discourage it, it would say "you don't belong here, so we're going to shove you into this box over here."