Can Boys and girls with Autism be boyfriend and girlfriend?

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Sionis
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15 Aug 2010, 9:12 pm

Jessi_in_wonderland wrote:
Definetely! The best relationship I ever had was with a boy with AS, I was so happy to finally find someone as dedicated and obsessive as I was. Our parents forbid us to date, so sadly I can't be with him but we had an amazing time together when we did. It's really nice towhen you meet them because you feel you have met someone who finally understands...


Why did your parents forbid you to date?



Jessi_in_wonderland
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15 Aug 2010, 9:53 pm

They didn't approve because I was older than him- 3 years. The school called both of our parents and pretty much told them it was inappropriate, and that we both had a lot of problems. It was really too bad because we really connected and enjoyed each other.



wrathofnero
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16 Aug 2010, 1:21 am

MizLiz wrote:
I think it would probably be easier for him to understand my sensory issues and why I require so much time alone (I just can't handle so much time spent with other people, even just one... I need to be able to retreat into my head to work sh** out).

But I wouldn't date me if I were a guy.


But, you sound like the perfect girlfriend as long as we could get our alone time schedules evened out. I mean, if we at the same time wanted time to ourselves, it wouldn't matter because we'd both be happy. Where I see problems is when I want alone time and the girl doesn't want to give it to me. I end up getting pissed off and become even MORE distant. I've never dated anyone on the spectrum, but I wouldn't be against it.



moonnymph
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18 Aug 2010, 1:42 pm

Definitely yes, I know a few couples. I know my match is out there too! :)



em_06
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10 Sep 2010, 4:09 pm

I think it can be possible! My boyfriend and I both have Asperger's Syndrome and have been dating for over a year now. One thing to think about is that Aspergers and Autism affect people differently and think about how a relationship would work with each others differences. My boyfriend and I both have a somewhat sensitivity to loud noises, but that hasn't seemed to affect our relationship. My past two relationships including my current one have been with other guys who have Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with an NT, but I feel comfortable being with another Aspie.



anneurysm
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11 Sep 2010, 5:36 am

It's definitely possible! My ex had something similar (non-verbal learning disability) and we continue to be romantic partners and close friends. Like me, he would tend to become obsessive and "stuck" on certian things, but this was a trait of his that I was willing to let go and not take offense to. I guess it all depends on personal compatibility and willingness to negotiate (which could be tricky for some aspies as they are used to their ways of being): as well as seeing the person involved as a whole person rather than as primarily a person with a disability.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


hale_bopp
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11 Sep 2010, 6:22 am

It more depends on the connection of spiritual energy or "spark".

There have been guys who have what I consider to be aspie traits who I adore to bits, and other aspie guys I find repulsive.
It's all about the connection.

I would rather have a guy with social skills because then I can learn and improve. If you're with someone for long enough, you start to become like them.

His impressive social skills would make up for my lack of them. I have other things to offer, I'm a fun girl, i make people laugh but I can also be awkward. I relate best to fun outgoing laid back men because then I can be myself: loud, silly but inappropriate. I don't see any benefit whatsoever from being with someone with worse social skills than yourself, when you aren't the best to begin with.



CrinklyCrustacean
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11 Sep 2010, 6:41 am

Yes they can. One of my friends is engaged to another aspie. :)



tomhead
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11 Sep 2010, 6:45 am

I've noticed that I find it VERY easy to bond with other spectrumites, to the point where if somebody mentioned being a spectrumite in a bio I would probably see myself as much more likely to be compatible with her.


Cheers,

TH



IndispensablePG
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11 Sep 2010, 10:36 am

I just think if two parties get along well, the question doesn't need to be asked.