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veiledexpressions
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18 Feb 2010, 9:47 pm

My SO has some traits, mainly the positive traits of AS. He has no problems with ToM, eye contact, social situations, sensory issues, stimming, understanding tone and body language, depth perception, etc... He doesn't actually have AS, just a few traits (like many people not actually on the spectrum)

I mentioned that he has the positive traits, but none of the negative ones, and that makes him lucky. He replies that maybe he was just strong enough to beat all of the other ones.

He never mentioned having them, and I've known him since we were young teens. He never had these issues. Yet, in his arrogance, he speaks as if he's beaten them. I know some people have coping mechanisms, but to act as if you've just managed to overcome things you never had, is ridiculous.

It reminds me of a woman I knew that thought people with depression were weak, and she was strong because she never endured such a thing.

I am angry...

ETA.. I just talked to him. He said he was obviously joking and explained that's why he laughed and moved on. I didn't pick up on this. I'm just angry at myself right now for not picking up on it.



Last edited by veiledexpressions on 18 Feb 2010, 11:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

League_Girl
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18 Feb 2010, 10:04 pm

What's SO?



veiledexpressions
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18 Feb 2010, 10:06 pm

significant other.. can refer to husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc..



Omerik
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18 Feb 2010, 10:13 pm

Keep in mind, I'm self-diagnosed, and also claim I coped with negative traits (well, not all) - some of them were evident, but others I just hid. For instance, people never knew I couldn't touch people until the age of 10, for example. I used to avoid it a lot, and finally got used to it (although I'm still sensitive and jump sometimes when touched), yet never spoke about it, as I was embarassed of it.

My weird habits and some stims were hidden from most people as well.



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19 Feb 2010, 12:29 pm

I'm always misinterpreting jokes and thinking that the person is being serious and I seem to never pick up on the cues that mean they are joking. Luckily my friends and family know this so they tell me that they are joking straight away if they see that I'm taking it seriously.


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League_Girl
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19 Feb 2010, 12:55 pm

veiledexpressions wrote:

ETA.. I just talked to him. He said he was obviously joking and explained that's why he laughed and moved on. I didn't pick up on this. I'm just angry at myself right now for not picking up on it.



Glad you got that sorted. I get angry instead at them and think it's their fault, not mine. I had that a lot with my ex and half of the things he was saying was a joke and I would repeat them to my mother thinking he was serious. Well she didn't like what he was saying to me and said he was being disrespectful and my ex get mad at me about me repeating stuff. He knew I took things literal but he wouldn't stop with the teasing. He kept doing it so I see it as his loss. My husband would sometimes joke with me and I'd take it seriously and repeat it online what he thinks of me and then it turned out he was joking. I'd get mad at him for it. But he is more careful now. I have a mouth and anything people say to me, I repeat it. He says it's very hard. How hard is it to not joke? How hard is it to be serious?



makuranososhi
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19 Feb 2010, 1:00 pm

League_Girl wrote:
My husband would sometimes joke with me and I'd take it seriously and repeat it online what he thinks of me and then it turned out he was joking. I'd get mad at him for it. But he is more careful now. I have a mouth and anything people say to me, I repeat it.


That is a behavior you might want to examine and see if and how that sort of thing is really doing you any benefit.


M.


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League_Girl
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19 Feb 2010, 1:16 pm

makuranososhi wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
My husband would sometimes joke with me and I'd take it seriously and repeat it online what he thinks of me and then it turned out he was joking. I'd get mad at him for it. But he is more careful now. I have a mouth and anything people say to me, I repeat it.


That is a behavior you might want to examine and see if and how that sort of thing is really doing you any benefit.


M.



I do not know what I am supposed to keep to myself unless the person told me to not tell anyone or this is between me and her or me and him. If they tell me stuff, I tend to repeat it. When I tell people things and I don't want anyone else to know, I tell the person to not repeat it to anyone and I say why.



makuranososhi
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19 Feb 2010, 1:22 pm

Wasn't asking for an explanation, but suggesting you examine whether that is actually doing you any good. We have different perspectives; to me, if someone tells me something it was so that I would know... not so that I would act as a broadcast signal for what they have said. Unless someone asks me to share the content of a conversation, I assume that it is intended strictly for my ears/eyes only.


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For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.

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