have any AS managed to change life around for the best?

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harry_j_83
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28 Feb 2010, 11:39 am

The reason I'm asking this question is because, as us aspies know, there is a variety of stereotypes with which people like to dub us "aspies" with, and I think these may be detrimental to our self image. Are all of us really that obsessed by a particular special interest, or have awkward gaits? Or on the other hand are these self-beliefs self-prophesised?

To give a valid example, i was really clumsy in sports during my school: a lot of embarrassing memories to say the least... recently I have noticed what a good sense of spatial awareness I have: I am always running through the London Tube network amongst busy crowds to get the train on time: often running past hundreds of people without so much as brushing past them.

I wonder whether anyone had succeeded in breaking the mould: has this made their standard of life any better as a result of not believing bad things of one's self



sinsboldly
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28 Feb 2010, 12:17 pm

My standard of life is good. Of course, I am not holding myself up to people without my unique condition and thinking that being more like them makes me "better". I have become comfortable with my own best and actually strive for the best I can be in all things, but I am not considering me being more like others is being "better".


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makuranososhi
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28 Feb 2010, 12:18 pm

I don't think one has to "break the mold" to improve their standard of life. My gait is still peculiar; one ex- always said I walked like a five year old even though I was well into my twenties. My deepest special interests are music and antiques; I've made them into my career and job. I'm clumsy/poorly coordinated at times... my hands are too big for some fine detail work, but I rarely drop things at the antique store - I'm more likely to crush them than drop them. Similarly, despite my gait and poor balance, I can often navigate and move through a crowd rather deftly (although that too may have something to do with my sheer size). I didn't know about ASDs until I was in my thirties, so there was no external limitation pressed on me beyond those by family, bullies, classmates and others. By not caring, I found freedom to be comfortable with who I am; I'm still a "faceted" personality in that I rotate out characteristics I know are needed for a given situation, but I am now finding that I am more comfortable and confident with those various aspects.


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Salonfilosoof
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11 Mar 2010, 6:58 pm

A bit more than a year ago, I though I was getting there. I had a more than well-paid job, a decent social life, I cohabitated with a girl I'd been with for a few years and I was graduately buying a more than decent book collection and DVD collection (my main hobbies). Now I live alone, I'm unemployed, my social life isn't what it used to be and I have no more budget for me collections. It seems like I have to start my entire life all over again and at the age of 28 that's quite frightening.

So I'd say it is possible to change life for the best, but you should always be aware that you might one day lose everything you've achieved in a nick of time. You can't take anything for granted...



Mizurax
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11 Mar 2010, 10:19 pm

Living through life has gotten better with AS. Everyday is an adevnture, and I am slowly facing all the fears and anxieties that come with the conditions. In fact, I believe that I am more appreciative of the small stuff in life then if I were an NT.

Also, I feel a lot more ambitious about life, and have set goals high for myself, something that I would have never done if I was just a NT.


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11 Mar 2010, 11:10 pm

My standard of life has really improved since I started college. I have a solid crew of friends now (mostly otaku from the Anime Club), and as of tonight, a romantic relationship. (Still happy about that one. ^_^) So yeah, I'd say despite being Aspie, life is good now.

Oh, speaking of anime... Mizurax you totally stole one of my past avatars!! ! :evil:

Ah, j/k.

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sinsboldly
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11 Mar 2010, 11:44 pm

Salonfilosoof wrote:
A bit more than a year ago, I though I was getting there. I had a more than well-paid job, a decent social life, I cohabitated with a girl I'd been with for a few years and I was graduately buying a more than decent book collection and DVD collection (my main hobbies). Now I live alone, I'm unemployed, my social life isn't what it used to be and I have no more budget for me collections. It seems like I have to start my entire life all over again and at the age of 28 that's quite frightening.

So I'd say it is possible to change life for the best, but you should always be aware that you might one day lose everything you've achieved in a nick of time. You can't take anything for granted...


you can't take anything for granted, you are so right. But you can't take being 'down' for all the time either. My life has been a roller coaster (achtbaan) ride where I have had plenty and more, then nothing and less, and then plenty and more again. I have found to find the middle way, to not want much, and not need much, so I don't feel the pain of the loss, nor the joy of the gain.

Merle



Salonfilosoof
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12 Mar 2010, 6:12 am

sinsboldly wrote:
you can't take anything for granted, you are so right. But you can't take being 'down' for all the time either. My life has been a roller coaster (achtbaan) ride where I have had plenty and more, then nothing and less, and then plenty and more again. I have found to find the middle way, to not want much, and not need much, so I don't feel the pain of the loss, nor the joy of the gain.


Well, I'm currently reorienting my life and trying to develop the basis for a new career in web-development by creating a professional portfolio (I used to work as an SAP consultant). At the same time I'm trying out a dating site to increase my exposure to single women (I wouldn't know anymore where to meet them otherwise). So it's not like I have given up just yet. It just feels harder and harder to get back on my two feet again and it takes an incredible amount of energy and my emotional life is going through both positive and negative extremes on an almost daily basis.



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12 Mar 2010, 7:19 am

My spatial skills are also pretty good, and I have perfect pitch. Over the years, I've been able to memorize intonation and facial expressions, mostly from watching TV(still don't like looking people in the eye, as I never know if I end up staring).
Plus, I got it through my head what is teasing and what is genuine meanness. I've cultivated my image as the cute little space cadet chick who loves video games and picks up songs on her bass like nobody's business.
Still hasn't helped me with the employment situation, though my current job is great. I deliver newspapers in the middle of the night when no one is out. I get to listen to as much music as I want on the job(I drive my car), and no one's looking over my shoulder and micro-managing me. I make as much working part-time as I did being miserable in a full-time retail job.
I think I really AM changing my life around for the better. I can't wait till I have enough money to move out of my parents' house again. It'll be awesome.



Salonfilosoof
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12 Mar 2010, 10:34 am

FireMinstrel wrote:
My spatial skills are also pretty good, and I have perfect pitch. Over the years, I've been able to memorize intonation and facial expressions, mostly from watching TV(still don't like looking people in the eye, as I never know if I end up staring).


Sounds familiar :D

I don't have any problems looking people in the eye, though, however I do sometimes tend to stare :?



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12 Mar 2010, 1:37 pm

I've changed my life for the best, last September. I've gone back to being myself, after 13 years. I mean really being myself.


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