What's the 1 thing you wish other people knew?

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idiocratik
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02 Apr 2011, 12:46 am

I wish people knew not to try to talk to me while I'm watching something or typing, but instead ask me to pause or stop first. I can't pay attention to two things at the same time.


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Amik
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02 Apr 2011, 2:11 pm

I find it hard to name just one thing, but these three are definitely in my top 3 (in no particular order):

Xenia wrote:
That I often really want to connect with someone but I don't know how to do it


Jingo8 wrote:
I'm trying harder than they will ever realise.


That when they're trying to "help" me, 99% of the time they're actually doing the very opposite and are really just helping themselves by trying to "fix" symptoms or traits that bother them in some way.



sleeny
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02 Apr 2011, 3:10 pm

I wish people knew that I don't understand it when they try to tell something "politely"



CockneyRebel
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02 Apr 2011, 3:31 pm

I change to suit myself, not to suit other people.


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CrinklyCrustacean
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02 Apr 2011, 6:54 pm

Sometimes I don't realise there are alternative meanings, so if I say something you find offensive, in most cases it's because you haven't interpreted what I said the way I intended you to.



raisedbyignorance
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02 Apr 2011, 10:54 pm

anbuend wrote:
That just about any instant judgement they can make about me, is likely wrong. Because I operate on a very different set of abilities and difficulties than most people, and even those abilities and difficulties are not stable. I become very sick of what I call "assumption ping-pong" when I first get to know people, it's one of the biggest barriers to getting to know someone. What I mean is they assume one thing, and when I say it's not true, then they go and assume some "opposite" thing that is no more true, and if they even stick around and trust me long enough (which many don't bother with), it takes a long time to get to the truth about who I am. It's much better if they would just not make assumptions about the rest of my life based on one small aspect of my life at one particular moment.


Similar case with me. The problem is the way people approach and befriend me really makes me uncomfortable in a way that I angrily drive them off which normally leads these people to think I am generally bad and never speak to me again. What I don't understand is why can't they make an effort to be more patient and calm with me. They would be amazed at how patient I've handled a lot of things about people and keeping it bubbled in. Don't judge people right away is I guess what I'm trying to get at here. Just because your social rules say the first impression is always the most significant doesn't make it so with me. You need time and patience to get to know people. That is a general rule with anyone NT or aspie.



idiocratik
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03 Apr 2011, 12:05 am

raisedbyignorance wrote:
anbuend wrote:
That just about any instant judgement they can make about me, is likely wrong. Because I operate on a very different set of abilities and difficulties than most people, and even those abilities and difficulties are not stable. I become very sick of what I call "assumption ping-pong" when I first get to know people, it's one of the biggest barriers to getting to know someone. What I mean is they assume one thing, and when I say it's not true, then they go and assume some "opposite" thing that is no more true, and if they even stick around and trust me long enough (which many don't bother with), it takes a long time to get to the truth about who I am. It's much better if they would just not make assumptions about the rest of my life based on one small aspect of my life at one particular moment.


Similar case with me. The problem is the way people approach and befriend me really makes me uncomfortable in a way that I angrily drive them off which normally leads these people to think I am generally bad and never speak to me again. What I don't understand is why can't they make an effort to be more patient and calm with me. They would be amazed at how patient I've handled a lot of things about people and keeping it bubbled in. Don't judge people right away is I guess what I'm trying to get at here. Just because your social rules say the first impression is always the most significant doesn't make it so with me. You need time and patience to get to know people. That is a general rule with anyone NT or aspie.


I think this is the case with most of us, and if you have blocked speech they automatically think you're being dishonest. I even tried to explain to one person that I had an ASD, but she didn't even want to accept that as possible. Oh well, not much we can do about it.


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animalcrackers
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03 Apr 2011, 12:24 am

That I care about them, even if I don't always know how to demonstrate this.