One moment fine...the next moment BAM!

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MikeyPikey92
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10 Mar 2010, 5:09 pm

I've always wondered if I may be a little bipolar...I'm not sure if this is normal or not....

This happens often enough, but here is the latest example...

At this point I am calm...

Mom: "Ok, so tell me again what the names of the roads around here?"

Me: "I don't know, but if you tell me them I can learn them and we can make some progress."

Still calm...

Mom: "Michael, how can you not know? You want to get a drivers license but you don't even know the roads?

Me: "Mom, I identify better with landscapes, a general knowledge of direction, not names of roads...but yes lets practice and I'll learn them."

Still calm and not minding anything really...

Mom: "How can an 18 boy not even know the name of the highway he lives by?"

and at this point is is like BAM! Before I know it I am screaming this.

Me: "What the F***! God D**! Just tell me the names so I can learn them! AHH! etc. etc. etc."

At this point I pound my hands on the table, scream loudly, loose breath, etc. Later I go down to my room to stimm.

I don't mean to sound extremely mad, because in a way I don't feel that mad...I don't know why but I'll just explode like this once and awhile and it seems out of my control, I never see it coming.

I'm the same way with just about everyone. People always claim I'm upset or being rude when really they interpret my words the completely wrong way. I mean well, I like people, I want them to like me, but sometimes things come out of my mouth and often I put so much extra emotion into my words that they think I'm really mad, upset, serious, etc. when really i'm not and am just trying to have an informal relaxed conversation.



Gigi830
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10 Mar 2010, 5:24 pm

I am the same way. My husband told me it is a common thing to "randomly" blow up in situations like this when you are "on the spectrum".

Bipolar disorder is actually a different thing. The person goes through cycles and those cycles usually last longer than a moment. When you're "down" it's hard to do anything, even get out of bed. You get extremely depressed and unmotivated. Grumpiness is also usually present. When you are "up" you get grandiose and pushy (not necessarily "happy" and certainly not calm) about your ideas/trip your on. it doesn't sound like you're bipolar so I wouldn't worry. (but I'm no expert or Dr)

Sounds to me like your mom was being pushy and not answering your question/not being helpful, just crticizing you- which would make ME react the same way. of course, you don't HAVE to get loud and have a blow up necessarily, but from what I understand that is very common with Autism Spectrum disorders. I would try to work on recognizing when you start to feel that way and maybe try to walk away before it gets there. That sometimes helps me, but it s hard to do and doesn't always work. I would discuss this with your mom also (when you calm down), if you think she can understand where you are coming from.

Hope you feel better :)


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Last edited by Gigi830 on 10 Mar 2010, 5:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ursaminor
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10 Mar 2010, 5:30 pm

You do not seem bi-polar (although I must admit I could not tell either way) your mother just seems particularly annoying.
I am also like that.
I can very easily find my way to school and several other places but I could not name any of the streets I go past.



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10 Mar 2010, 6:57 pm

Your reaction was not that of a mentally ill person. Anyone would have gotten angry.

As to the 'meltdown' thing in general, yes, that's a common ASD trait. Doesn't sound bipolar either.


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10 Mar 2010, 7:30 pm

Gigi830 wrote:
Sounds to me like your mom was being pushy and not answering your question/not being helpful, just crticizing you- which would make ME react the same way.



I agree. Trying to make me feel stupid when I just want a simple question answered is what you should do if you want me to lose my temper.

Oh, and this statement was just dumb:

Quote:
Mom: "Michael, how can you not know? You want to get a drivers license but you don't even know the roads?


Knowing or not knowing the road names has no bearing on one's driving ability.


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10 Mar 2010, 7:39 pm

Everyone has people like this to deal with in life. Everyone tries to keep their temper. A lot of people do seem to be better equipped to deal with them for a longer time than we do. We try, honestly expecting the person to get on with things, never expecting, no matter how many times it happens, that the other person will find it more worthwhile to humiliate you or vent their frustration at your expense than they find it to meet you halfway for your personal benefit. I got sick of my mom's negative attitude, even though I have one myself too much, because I got a lot of, "You should have assumed that, you should have known that." Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not psychic.

When I told my mom I was expecting my third child, she said, first thing: "Were you trying?" A said we weren't NOT trying... it's always weird to suggest it's a surprise... And she said: "That's the mistake your sister made. Are you sure you can handle three?"

Which is why I still wonder if I have AS or if, in certain cases, parents just might have had something to do with it. I of course do not subscribe to the old parental neglect theory in all cases, but with my mom... 'nuff said.

I wish I could tell you how to keep your cool longer. I usually reach a point where I start saying nasty things back, or get up and storm out. I recommend leaving rather than saying nasty things. If they ask why, you just tell them, as calmly as you can manage, that you aren't doing whatever it is they are griping about just to personally annoy them, but if they'd rather complain than help, then you'd rather not be around them for a while. This is a variation on something I read in a parenting book... if the child won't speak to you in a civil tone, you tell the child you won't speak to them for say, 15 minutes, because you don't appreciate being spoken to that way. Sounds harsh, but the key is not to show anger, just that you believe you deserve better. You do. So why not use it on parents, hm?

Good luck in whatever you do. It's hard to catch yourself before you blow up, but if they have nothing but sniping to offer when you're trying to be mature about something, then it's safe to say it's going to tick you off sooner or later.

Because seriously, there are few more instantly irritating phrases than, "How can you not know that?" It's such a delicate cocktail of condescension and humiliation.


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10 Mar 2010, 7:40 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Gigi830 wrote:
Sounds to me like your mom was being pushy and not answering your question/not being helpful, just crticizing you- which would make ME react the same way.



I agree. Trying to make me feel stupid when I just want a simple question answered is what you should do if you want me to lose my temper.

Oh, and this statement was just dumb:

Quote:
Mom: "Michael, how can you not know? You want to get a drivers license but you don't even know the roads?


Knowing or not knowing the road names has no bearing on one's driving ability.


OMG, I know I thought the same thing when I read it :P


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10 Mar 2010, 8:10 pm

I always go through things like this with my mum. Even trying to explain things is hard and I get frustrated easily.

Like just giving her general road directions or carrying on a message to her. She never understands. And I get mad when she randomly starts telling me what things are in the newspaper or catalogue. I don't care. I know I sound rude but it's just annoying to me at times. I know not to always blow up about little annoyances so I ignore them, but if I was in the situation with you and your mum I'd blow up like that.


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10 Mar 2010, 8:34 pm

MikeyPikey92 wrote:
I've always wondered if I may be a little bipolar...I'm not sure if this is normal or not....

This happens often enough, but here is the latest example...

At this point I am calm...

Mom: "Ok, so tell me again what the names of the roads around here?"

Me: "I don't know, but if you tell me them I can learn them and we can make some progress."

Still calm...

Mom: "Michael, how can you not know? You want to get a drivers license but you don't even know the roads?

Me: "Mom, I identify better with landscapes, a general knowledge of direction, not names of roads...but yes lets practice and I'll learn them."

Still calm and not minding anything really...

Mom: "How can an 18 boy not even know the name of the highway he lives by?"

and at this point is is like BAM! Before I know it I am screaming this.

Me: "What the F***! God D**! Just tell me the names so I can learn them! AHH! etc. etc. etc."

At this point I pound my hands on the table, scream loudly, loose breath, etc. Later I go down to my room to stimm.

I don't mean to sound extremely mad, because in a way I don't feel that mad...I don't know why but I'll just explode like this once and awhile and it seems out of my control, I never see it coming.

I'm the same way with just about everyone. People always claim I'm upset or being rude when really they interpret my words the completely wrong way. I mean well, I like people, I want them to like me, but sometimes things come out of my mouth and often I put so much extra emotion into my words that they think I'm really mad, upset, serious, etc. when really i'm not and am just trying to have an informal relaxed conversation.



OMG *sheds a tear* your mom sounds like my mom OMG! I'm so happy right now. :-) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!1



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10 Mar 2010, 9:00 pm

I have an aunt that will do that to me, we will be talking about something and then she'll sneak in a criticism and then when I try to defend myself and explain how irrelevant or subjective shes being she cuts me off mid sentence with another baseless criticism. At this point I just explode and and start yelling. That woman brings out the worst in me, I swear.


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10 Mar 2010, 9:44 pm

I'm like this. I've always been very volatile. Meds help.


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Brennan
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10 Mar 2010, 9:53 pm

My mother does this too and it caused so many problems when I was at home.
I hate it when people kept on about the same issue over and over. I got the message the first time any subsequent time you bring it up just keeps pushing me closer to the edge.



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10 Mar 2010, 11:25 pm

We have this happen. It's a problem of too many questions. I don't know if it's the same for you....but I find if I ask my daughter too many questions, too quickly...(and in this case, the questions were pretty annoying), she will do just that. Explode. Particularly if the questions are really a thinly veiled nag...but even just too many normal questions she finds upsetting. It's a mystery to me kind of because if you let her, she'll go on and on talking about herself. But if you try and ask questions, she clams up...and then if you don't stop, she yells.



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11 Mar 2010, 12:21 am

I'm like this too except usually it's more over a span of like two seconds. Where I'm really mad but I am laughing and then all of a sudden I blow up and then I'm laughing. It's really strange, but that's usually how it goes when I'm frustrated.
Other times I am just frustrated all the way through but I've learned to not blow up when I can.


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11 Mar 2010, 1:45 am

gramirez wrote:
I'm like this. I've always been very volatile. Meds help.


Same here. I have always been like this but it was worsened because of my depression, hence why I take a mood stabalizer as well. I'm not sure if it's ASD related or not...maybe I just have a bad temper like my dad.


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