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aspiegirl2
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21 Mar 2010, 4:39 pm

I sometimes have difficulty in managing my time. I think, from what I've read, that those with Asperger's have trouble managing time. Do you think that this is true? I also have difficulty establishing routines. Sometimes I feel like doing something different, or that I really want to keep doing something once I've gotten started. Do any of you guys have trouble with establishing routines? I've been noticing that I've been having a lot of trouble with these when I came to college, especially with hygiene (except for brushing my teeth; I feel a lot more gross not having brushed my teeth for a day than not having showering for a day). I've heard that people on the spectrum typically have trouble getting out of their regular routines and have no trouble establishing them. Of course, not every aspie is the same. I was just wondering if there were any other aspies with these issues, especially with routines. Any thoughts?


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I'm 24 years old and live in WA State. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 9. I received a BS in Psychology in 2011 and I intend to help people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, either through research, application, or both. On the ?Pursuit of Aspieness?.


kia_williams
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21 Mar 2010, 5:11 pm

hmm, well.

Routinues i find Very difficult to institute and maintain, "Time awareness" for me is next to none exsistent. I am consciously aware (i can count/guesstimate how long a task have taken, so long as its under a few minutes) but on that innate "time keeping" sense Ive observed in NT's, well i think my brain clock never got its batteries because i find that subconsciously "know the time" ability remarkable.



pensieve
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21 Mar 2010, 7:12 pm

If I didn't have a routine I'd be sitting on the couch all day thinking 'what to do...what to do.."
I make lists of things I need to do. My routine goes by a timed schedule too, so I guess my time management is pretty good. I think in college I had to learn to manage my time better.
My routine is a bit flexible too. I can do things around a certain time not right at the exact moment each day.


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Willard
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21 Mar 2010, 7:56 pm

I have a horrible time changing a nonproductive routine and forging a new, more useful one. Seems most of my routines come about due to circumstance originally, then just become set in spite of what i intend. :(



Brennan
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21 Mar 2010, 8:04 pm

My time management is pretty good but mainly that is because my whole routine is based on time. I get up at a certain time every day to walk my dogs, leave the house at a certain time to go to work. Come home at a certain time and do chores for a certain amount of time etc, etc. I get very annoyed if something happens that throws this routine out.

However, when I don't have my routine and I let myself get immersed in whatever I am doing, I have no time management whatsoever. I can lose whole days being absorbed in my latest special interest.



auntblabby
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22 Mar 2010, 8:20 am

i have all the self-discipline of sea kelp, and all the organization of a herd of housecats. i pay my bills as they come, force myself to keep appointments, eat food out of cans when i am hungry, and force myself to exercise when the weather isn't inclement. but everything else is haphazard at best. dishes stay piled up in the sink for weeks until they have mold on them. trails through the mess in my mobile. i long ago gave up trying to be better.



persian85033
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22 Mar 2010, 12:46 pm

I have a very strict routine.



Agnieszka
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22 Mar 2010, 1:10 pm

I wish I could establish any routine... It is too difficult, because am impulsive. But if I could do only things I like, I might have some routines.


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Joe90
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07 Apr 2010, 5:06 pm

I need advice. I can't change my routine. I am 20, and on job-seekers. At the moment I am doing volluntry work in a charity shop, which I really, really enjoy. I go in every day (except Sundays and most Thursdays,) and I feel at home there. I have a free buspass, so I just hop on the bus every day and go to the charity shop, as happy as can be. I love getting buses too (this is due to my obsession - I am obsessed with the bus-drivers. I fancy a few of them and I really enjoy getting on their buses, but I'm talking about a different thing here). So for the first time in my life, I am enjoying myself. I fit in with my collegues. I'm accepted. But the trouble is, I can't keep this happy lifestyle going, because I am on job-seekers and need a paid job. Each time they offer me a job, I make up some excuse and turn it down, just to allow my superb lifestyle to go on for longer. It's a pain really because I've got such a good routine going that I am having major difficulties with breaking it. The job-seekers people don't seem to understand. Because I have excellent eye-contact, and friendly personality, and good sense of humour, they think I will be fine getting a job, but it's more to it than that. I can't break this routine. I have to really force myself to walk into a shop and give my CV to the people in there, otherwise I am sitting there thinking of a really good excuse as to why I didn't bother doing it. It's really wrong though, because the job-seekers are paying me to be actively looking for a job, but I just can't do it. I always hope I won't get the job, if I do get off my arse and actually physically do something to look for work.
But it's not a point of being lazy, because I get up every day to work volluntry at a charity shop - I don't just laze about at home every day watching TV. So I'm not lazy there - I'm just very awkward. I just cannot break this routine. I don't want to leave the charity shop and have to go somewhere else, and leave all the lovely people there who have accepted me for the first time in my life. Admittedly, I am looking for part time work, but even then I'm looking for hours what will suit me. And even if a job did come with hours what will suit me, I will panick. Here's a list of things as to why I don't want to find a paid job:-
-Having to fill out applications where they ask you for every detail of yourself - I hate doing that
-Having to hunt out smart clothes from the depths of my wardrobe to attend an interview
-Having to wear certain clothes when I start work (I hate wearing collars and/or buttons - which in most jobs you have to) :x
-Having to attend the hours they want you to, which will mean getting up extra early or finishing at the rush-hour (5.00pm)
-Having to meet new people, (will they like me? Will they accept me? Will they be a load of school-leavers or youngsters who go on about their partying and social lives non-stop?)
-Having to learn new skills and rules
-Will I feel lonely?

I am dreading it. Once the job centre gave me a 13 week work experience in a supermarket, and I didn't like it one bit. Nobody really spoke to me, the people working there with quite rough and some were strange, nobody really gave me any supervision or showed me what to do, I felt lonely, I felt bored, loads of schoolkids flooded in there at about 3.30pm and I always feel intimidated by teenagers, I was on my feet all afternoon and there wasn't anywhere to sit and have a rest for a few seconds. I didn't like it. And what if my new job will be like this again? I really, really can't cope with the thought of getting a job. I can't.



mamaamylynn
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17 Jan 2013, 1:27 pm

My mother has tried my whole life to help me get into routines, IE: Cleaning, getting up in the morning for work/school, eating, homework, hygiene, pretty much everything. I'm 25 years old and it just seems I cannot do it. I'm extremely impulsive. I pretty much do what I feel like doing, if I don't I'm typically having horrible anxiety the whole time I'm doing what I didn't want to do in the first place.... Sometimes it is just really hard for me to motivate to get anything done. I have a almost 3 year old son and a full time job but I'm barely hanging on to my job. I can take care of my son just fine, but that is it, I'm very easily overwhelmed. I've never been diagnosed with anything but epstein barr, depression, and anxiety but I know that isn't it, I'm not "normal". My whole life I've been called lazy and selfish and I often am told I just don't care about anything. It really isn't like that. I have such a hard time from day to day I don't know what to do with myself.
My brother was diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's when he was 2 or 3, he seems to have the opposite problem that when his routine is disrupted he has a melt down. So I just don't know what to think. My mother is the only person to ever mention me maybe having mild/slight autism or asperger's. I seem to stick to other people who are "different" as far as friends go and I have a hard time interacting with new people or visiting anywhere/one that is new to me. So I guess I have a problem with new things sometimes. I could go on for days..... I know everyone is different but what do you all think of my situation?? Typing this and putting myself out here has put me into a state of panic. I'm going to retire to myself now lol

Any suggestions or views are appreciated... Thank you.

-Amy



Dreycrux
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17 Jan 2013, 1:30 pm

My whole life is routine. I do the same thing everyday, in the same order, at the same time. It is the only way I can function. I do not like chaos or changes in plans, or changes PERIOD.



crstlgls
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06 Sep 2019, 6:31 pm

I have trouble with time management, too. Setting a bedtime, for instance. I use an electronic calendar, but i don't always remember to put things on it. i don't really know what kind of routines are good for my type. I am sensitive to tactile and auditory input. I have things such as prayer that I want to integrate into my day, but just don't know where to put them, as i am a busy college student with assignments and need extra practice to learn things. But i do tend to like structure. Constant changes would overwhelm me. i need a cleaning routine as well that works with my class schedule, assignments, Sunday sabbath and grocery shopping. i have a lot going on and just don't know how to put it all in and order that's easy to understand. Organizing my space is an issue for me as well. I have yet to find a system for organizing my stuff that works with my Asperger's.



Edna3362
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06 Sep 2019, 6:50 pm

My current culture and the one I grew up with is infamously known for 'Filipino Time'. Of course! :lol:
And add the inconsistent sense of time, due to varying altered state of minds.

As much as routine does makes life easier, I don't like rigidity. The need of strict routine and order just doesn't agree with me how matter how much I looked at it.

So instead of routine and predictability, I mainly focus how to switch gears, how to take time as opposed to make time, how to prioritize, how to do shortcuts, and how to be mindful. To regulate, to 'visualize' time -- executive functioning.
And how to deal with changes and chaos, without too much impact against the momentum that could cause dissonance/distress commonly associated with most autistics deal against changes and unpredictability. Or entirely take the chaos, without any impact (or being 'burned') or compromise on routines or the lack of it at all.


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auntblabby
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06 Sep 2019, 8:18 pm

the older i get the more it seems time slips away from me like sand through my fingers.



kmarie57
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07 Sep 2019, 8:18 am

My time management varies with different things. I am consistently early everywhere. I personally think of that as great time management, but others might disagree since my need to be early takes away from time that could be spent doing other things. I have massive anxiety over the thought of being late.

When it comes to getting things done though, my time management is horrible. I am a terrible procrastinator and a lot of things either don't get done, or get done at the last possible second. I get so overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done and struggle to structure things accordingly.

I don't have overly strict routines and certain changes don't bother me at all, whereas some changes bother me a lot. Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm bothered by the change until somebody calls me out for suddenly becoming snippy or whiny.

At the same time, I have what I consider to be habits that I find extremely hard to break because they are so engrained into me. For example, I let cups stack up in my room and they might start to mold sometimes and I don't like the cups and I wish they were gone, but it takes a lot of effort for me to do anything about them because it is such a habit of mine to just let them stack and sit. And once I do finally pick them up, I have more in just days. It's a continuous cycle that I've yet to break.



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07 Sep 2019, 8:36 am

I flounder around a lot in regards to time management. I see it as maladaptive executive function. Or lack of executive function. I absolutely hate "having" to do a routine. In the past, whenever I try it, a great amount of resentment fills up my body and I break the routine just to break it.

I didn't know I had Aspergers until just about two years ago now. Now that I know and understand more about how it works (not I am just weird and need to force myself to be "better"), I have been able to use routines somewhat to improve my day. I have found the following routine helpful for me to get my day going. Coffee on the dock, take morning pills, feed the critters, exercise. By the time I have done all that, I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do each day. Before I had this routine, I would just launch willy-nilly into the day doing whatever seemed most urgent at the time. This latter approach did nothing for my mental health or executive functioning.


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