Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

Agnieszka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,563

21 Mar 2010, 5:49 pm

I've recently realised that I have a problem with being assertive. I don't know the difference between being assertive and being egoistic. Please, explain it to me. :oops:


_________________
Love,
A


Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

21 Mar 2010, 7:06 pm

assertive:
1. confidently aggressive or self-assured; positive: aggressive; dogmatic.
2. having a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma.


egoistic
1.pertaining to or of the nature of egoism.
2.being centered in or preoccupied with oneself and the gratification of one's own desires; self-centered (opposed to altruistic).


Source:
http://dictionary.com


_________________
What fresh hell is this?


Agnieszka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,563

21 Mar 2010, 7:15 pm

Descartes, thanks for your reply. :) Yes, I did google for definitions but still I don't understand. Ok, I know being assertive is good and being egoistic is wrong. I just can't spot the boundary between these two, when am assertive and when am egoistic.
Maybe you could give me some example of behaviour...


_________________
Love,
A


Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

21 Mar 2010, 7:35 pm

Being assertive is basically being confident; it's standing up for yourself without being aggressive.

Being egoistic is basically being full of yourself.


_________________
What fresh hell is this?


Seanmw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,639
Location: Bremerton, WA

22 Mar 2010, 12:15 am

Assertive =confident; vigorously energetic, esp. in the use of initiative and forcefulness; forward; bold

egoistic = selfish, self-centered;

assertive is a way of being that can be good or bad depending on whether your motives are good or bad.

however being egoistic is just bad either way.


_________________
+Blog: http://itsdeeperthanyouknow.blogspot.com/
+"Beneath all chaos lies perfect order"


Philologos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Age: 81
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,987

22 Mar 2010, 12:17 am

I am [not infrequently] egoistic. I know how goo I am [if nobody else does] and I can easily see the dedficiencies of others.

I am not assertive. In a group [unless VERY carefully selected] you will hardly ever hear from me and if you diss me absoluterly nothing will happen. At least not without stealth.



Agnieszka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,563

22 Mar 2010, 1:38 am

Ok, so let me ask this... Is being assertive listening to my needs and trying to take care of myself even if it means unintentionaly huring others becasue they don't understand my needs?
Sometimes am so overhelmed with life (noises, etc.) that I have to ask my husband to watch over our daughter even when I know he is tired after work and I sometimes feel sorry for him. Phisicaly I could watch over our daughter then, but it seems to be too difficult for me at that moment, I have no patience at all and am feeling overhelmed even more, but I could devote myself somehow. My husband understands me but I do feel egoistic! Am not sure if you understand me... Am I egoistic or not? But as I said, in some other cases people won't understand me and think am lazy!


_________________
Love,
A


Agnieszka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,563

23 Mar 2010, 7:27 am

Hey, people, am not scared you will judge me now... Please respond... I sometimes am not sure, my conscience is silent and I don't know if am egoistic or not. I don't want to be egoistic.


_________________
Love,
A


Dimples123
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 95

03 Oct 2019, 12:54 pm

I have this issue too, they seem way to similar to me.



RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,145

05 Oct 2019, 5:15 am

I'm a mush brain but I'll do my best: Assertive is one who interjects his opinions because he believes them to benefit the group project that is called life because human beings lives touch one another whether they are comfortable with that or not.
Egoistic: interjects his opinions because he believes his opinions to be the best ones in a compettitive sense and ultimately wants to control others' lives. Hope this helps.