You're not owed respect, Respect is earned

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lucky0979
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30 Mar 2010, 1:53 pm

..nahh!! ! respect is not earned..some people are really born with it much harder than others and deserve more love/respect/help from the start!



Pappy
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30 Mar 2010, 3:35 pm

I think it is just one of those NT sayings. Here's my best AS translation:

(I think)(my) Respect must be earned (by you specifically)(the reverse is not true, implying my innate superiority).



mechanicalgirl39
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30 Mar 2010, 5:06 pm

Willard wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
Hmmm. I disagree with most of this.


8O SHOCK!

MichelleRM78 wrote:
A child can believe that parental decisions on his/her behalf, and the child should believe that. I don't think that has anything to do with respect, however.


Even children (above the level of toddlers) can understand that an adult with more life experience than they have, who provides for their welfare, food and housing deserved to be heeded and obeyed without defiance and impudence. That is the very definition of respect.

I am not talking about unquestioningly cowering beneath someone who tortures you. Of course, children and teens often convince themselves that adults who make decisions on their behalf which they don't like, are being intentionally cruel. That's because they don't have enough life experience or maturity yet to determine what's best, safest or healthiest for them.

MichelleRM78 wrote:
I also don't believe that a child cannot earn respect until they display maturity of any form. I may be misunderstanding what you are saying here, but children can be respected and should be respected in each and every developmental stage.


I believe I covered that with the phrase "basic human dignity and the sanctity of life".


I appreciate that adults have more life experience and thus are better equipped to decide how to deal with a situation, but adults are human beings and they are wrong sometimes too. I certainly don't think it's wrong to point out when an older adult is being hypocritical or unreasonable.


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ikorack
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30 Mar 2010, 9:42 pm

Pappy wrote:
I think it is just one of those NT sayings. Here's my best AS translation:

(I think)(my) Respect must be earned (by you specifically)(the reverse is not true, implying my innate superiority).


I think its more of a I've survived and proved myself and you haven't type of thing.(and in the case of the parents I've survived and had children.)

Personally, I feel that a living being has a limited amount of owed respect. That being acknowledgment and attention or in better terms the guidance and opportunity to prove yourself. Then as life goes on you earn more respect and you'll eventually be telling kids to respect you without of course respecting them as say you would respect a peer or boss.

EDIT: Anything can seem innate if you don't understand where it comes from, Maybe an innate sense of superiority isn't so innate and has its grounding in logic.



Pappy
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30 Mar 2010, 9:59 pm

Yes, you are right of course, "innate" was the wrong word to use. A person may well be implying a superiority that was earned through great effort, and pointing this out could be completely rational.



mechanicalgirl39
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31 Mar 2010, 11:53 am

I don't think it is grounded in logic, though. People who have become adults and 'proved themselves' are perfectly capable of making mistakes and worse, choosing to behave in less than savoury ways.


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MichelleRM78
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31 Mar 2010, 2:06 pm

Willard wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
Hmmm. I disagree with most of this.


8O SHOCK!

MichelleRM78 wrote:
A child can believe that parental decisions on his/her behalf, and the child should believe that. I don't think that has anything to do with respect, however.


Even children (above the level of toddlers) can understand that an adult with more life experience than they have, who provides for their welfare, food and housing deserved to be heeded and obeyed without defiance and impudence. That is the very definition of respect.

I am not talking about unquestioningly cowering beneath someone who tortures you. Of course, children and teens often convince themselves that adults who make decisions on their behalf which they don't like, are being intentionally cruel. That's because they don't have enough life experience or maturity yet to determine what's best, safest or healthiest for them.

MichelleRM78 wrote:
I also don't believe that a child cannot earn respect until they display maturity of any form. I may be misunderstanding what you are saying here, but children can be respected and should be respected in each and every developmental stage.


I believe I covered that with the phrase "basic human dignity and the sanctity of life".


LOL. I don't think that any child should be expected to obey without defiance-- not at all. They should be taught to question authority with respect. That's how children learn to think for themselves. It's how they learn to function in an unfair world. I don't think children should be controlled by adults. We are here to guide, keep them safe, and help them make good decisions. If we don't allow them to make those decisions and only do what they are told to do, we are missing a huge part of what parenting is all about.

I don't think that basic human dignity and sanctity of life actually covers it at all. Each child should actually be respected.



mechanicalgirl39
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31 Mar 2010, 2:56 pm

Quote:
I don't think that any child should be expected to obey without defiance-- not at all. They should be taught to question authority with respect.


Thanks, that's what I was trying to say, but I put it rather messily, lol.

I agree. There is nothing at all rude in asking 'Why' or 'What is the reasoning here?'


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