There's A Girl who's really nice but...

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Julia_the_Great
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28 Mar 2010, 9:42 pm

She is so clingy it's actually easy to forget how nice she is and just be annoyed.

I don't know how to tell her this as she has Down Syndrome, but it really does bother me when she constantly asks me to stop talking to others and talk to her.


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anbuend
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28 Mar 2010, 10:08 pm

I would be direct. I have found that if I am anything less than totally blunt with clingy people, then things just get worse and worse. And any impulse saying that it'd be rude or wrong of me to speak up just ensures the clinging will never end. I am just getting out of a destructive situation where if I had said something at the start the whole mess would never have happened. If the person has a condition that can affect social boundaries then they doubly need to be told. You don't have to be nasty but if you aren't firm at the start it just gets worse and worse.


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28 Mar 2010, 10:21 pm

Try to be as nice as possible. I don't know how people with DS take criticism, but I bet they get their feelings hurt easily. Let her know that you enjoy your time with her but you cant be around her every minute and you have other friends who also want time with you and would be hurt if you spent all your time with her.



CockneyRebel
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28 Mar 2010, 10:47 pm

pumibel wrote:
Try to be as nice as possible. I don't know how people with DS take criticism, but I bet they get their feelings hurt easily. Let her know that you enjoy your time with her but you cant be around her every minute and you have other friends who also want time with you and would be hurt if you spent all your time with her.


I agree with that suggestion.


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Villette
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28 Mar 2010, 11:09 pm

I'm just curious, forgive me if I'm offensive - but how do you have conversation with DS ppl? Over here they're perceived as - well - not so bright, to phrase it kindly. AS is relatively unknown here but autism is perceived as horrible.



Callista
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28 Mar 2010, 11:14 pm

About the same way you'd have a conversation with anybody else, I guess. Only maybe you'll need to repeat yourself more often, or say things a different way, like you do when somebody doesn't understand what you said to begin with.


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29 Mar 2010, 12:47 am

I would just tell her "I have every right to talk to other people. You don't own me."



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29 Mar 2010, 6:35 am

League_Girl wrote:
I would just tell her "I have every right to talk to other people. You don't own me."


I'd phrase it a bit nicer to start with, but yeah, if it keeps up you may have to be this direct. Perhaps before and after you say this, you could say how much you like having her as a friend, just to go easier on her feelings.



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29 Mar 2010, 7:22 am

I don't know any nicer way to say it.



ASgirl
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29 Mar 2010, 8:13 am

perhaps try explaining to her that you talk to other people doesn't mean you don't like or care about her.



LolaGranola
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29 Mar 2010, 9:50 am

ASgirl wrote:
perhaps try explaining to her that you talk to other people doesn't mean you don't like or care about her.


This.


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