Another new guy with a couple questions.

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pariah99
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31 Mar 2010, 12:16 am

Hi,
I just registered here after a visit with a Psychologist. He said I probably have aspergers, so I did a little digging around online and arrived here. Still unconfirmed, but I'm supposed to be getting tested in the next month or so. From what I've read here so far, I'm about 99% sure I have it.

A little background: I'm 26, I just got done working in the Navy for 7 years as a nuclear mechanic, and am now pursuing a degree in material science and economics. It's an odd combination, but I find both subjects to be utterly fascinating.

A couple of questions:

1) Do any of you have any problems interpreting and/or feeling your own emotions towards others? I rarely feel any sort of emotion at all. I don't even feel anything for the people I'm supposed to be closest to: I've run through scenarios in my head where I get word that anybody I know (even my parents, who I no longer communicate with) are dead, and I honestly feel nothing, and I feel like a monster. I understand that social isolation might be a part of it, but I really have a hard time thinking of a past situation where I've felt anything stronger than annoyance, or amusement towards other people. The only feelings that I ever feel are all the self-directed ones: loneliness, frustration, self-directed anger, self-hatred, etc. This is actually what led me to a psychologist in the first place - that I was afraid I might be leaning towards sociopathy.

2) Do you guys have strong feelings of distrust towards anybody and everybody? I had some mildly bad things that happened to me as a kid that might have affected my trust in other people, but I feel like it's more of a result that I don't believe in emotions. I often 'act' out a certain emotion just to prevent awkwardness in a social setting. As a result I just subconsciously assume people are faking it whenever they display any kind of feeling. This problem so completely prevents me from connecting with people that I literally don't know a single human being whom I would consider greater than an acquaintance.

3) Does cognitive behavioral therapy help? My psychologist prescribed me some pills to deal with the social anxiety issues, but he also recommended that I get some therapy which would put me in escalating social situations. On the surface, this sounds like it will help; then again, I tried to routinely force myself in situations outside of my comfort zone, and have yet to see any improvement in my behavior. Has anybody had any experience and/or success with this?

Thanks for reading, and hope to see you round the forums~



littlewop
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31 Mar 2010, 1:21 am

doesnt sound like what you are describing is aspergers, awkward social situations yes, but aspergers is more because you don't catch on to the little nuances of behaviour that are very difficult to understand so they are confusing , but by no means does it mean that I don't care They seem simalar but to not care is different than to have so much difficultly that you want to give up.



Villette
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31 Mar 2010, 1:58 am

Possible, but not enough symptoms described. Awkward in social situations, unable to make small talk and form friendships, obsessed with something - such as computers or science for example are the usual culprits.

One interesting point to note is that my late great-uncle may have been an Aspie. He was brilliant. And by a strange coincidence his son got a graduate degree in chemistry and analyses shares. In fact he did chem and economics in university.



pariah99
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31 Mar 2010, 4:52 am

littlewop wrote:
doesnt sound like what you are describing is aspergers, awkward social situations yes, but aspergers is more because you don't catch on to the little nuances of behaviour that are very difficult to understand so they are confusing , but by no means does it mean that I don't care They seem simalar but to not care is different than to have so much difficultly that you want to give up.


I didn't address that specifically, but that kind of thing is a moment-by-moment occurrence for me. I almost always take people literally: I've lost track of the number of times I've had to give my "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were being sarcastic" moments and/or situations that I just keep talking about a specific subject without realizing that the other person has completely lost interest.

Also, I feel utterly lost in situations where I have to concentrate on multiple people at once. I liken conversational multitasking to being underwater in a pool and hearing lots of coins dropping around me: I can hear things going on around me but I just don't know where to focus on or how to make sense of the volume of information.

Even in one-on-one situations, I rarely talk about stuff that isn't related in some way to my work/study. I've tried to make smalltalk, but the extent of those conversations are pretty much:
Me: "So, weather's getting nicer outside."
Person A: "Yeah, I was probably going to go biking later today"
Me: "That's cool..."
Me: "So did you put that lab data on the network drive..."
And it usually devolves into a more school-topical discussion from there. Almost all of my smalltalk comes from 3-4 canned phrases regarding the weather, crappiness of work/assignments, or TV. It feels forced, and every time I use them; it's almost like I'm seeing a mental image of myself say those phrases and sounding extremely awkward. People I knew in the military used to tell me all the time to stop talking about work, but in truth, that's all I could ever talk about, so I ended up driving people away.

On a more positive note, my ability to focus on narrow details allows me to be a great complex problem solver. Whether it's nuclear engineering, thermodynamics, computer programs, or mathematics, I can usually break down difficult problems into a set of smaller ones, then use some iterative process to work through them and come out with a solution on the other end. I often wish that I could apply some kind of similar method to my social problems; but alas, the human condition is hard to break down into a set of equations and/or deterministic mechanisms.

I could list more, but I think the above gives a slightly better description of my symptoms than my original set of questions may have indicated. I'll admit that I've been searching for quite a while for a possible reason for my so-called 'social awkwardness'. It's also fair to say that I'm desperate for an answer: I would really like to identify my condition so that I can start dealing with it in a constructive manner instead of just blindly trying stuff that ends making me feel like crap (clubbing is very bad for me, as it turns out).

The more I read the stories on this forum, the more I see situations from my own life reflected - maybe not completely, but close enough to the point where the similarities are uncanny. It might be a complete coincidence, but at least I've experienced some solace in knowing that I'm not the only one who has some of these issues.



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31 Mar 2010, 5:02 am

Welcome to WP!


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Autumnsteps
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31 Mar 2010, 6:12 am

I sometimes find it hard to interpret any feelings I have and wonder if have any or if it's just that I can't tell which is which very well as other times I can find. I can be quite untrusting but only because I've been badly hurt in the past and that I expect people to treat me badly as it's only what I deserve



JetLag
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31 Mar 2010, 10:09 am

Welcome to the Wrong Planet forums, pariah99.


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31 Mar 2010, 2:56 pm

Hello pariah99, welcome,

I don't have 1) and 2).
Concerning 3):
At one point my psychologist also discussed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with me, but in the end I didn't have this therapy, but I learned about it during my education for psychologist at University and read and heard about it recently and it seems to be a good and helpful therapy for certain people / certain problems.

Good luck learning more about yourself!
And enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!


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richie
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31 Mar 2010, 3:46 pm

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